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Men can play the "attention" game as well. Since some women don't really fond a 'mystery man'. However, others are extremely attracted to this persona. This won't work for everyone, but if you can pull it off, you might be in for a treat. Making eye contact is key once again. If she happens to be next to you, a simple "Hello" or "Hi" will suffice. Light conversation can also be applied. Try to get to know her but not everything about her. Tell her about yourself, when asked, but don't tell her everything. Talk softer than normal to lure her into listening more carefully. This method can be a little seductive, however, can be very playful as well.
By xxdsflxx, California, United State
I was recently informed of a friends first date experience where they met online and met out to dinner. However she stated she tried not to talk his ear off during the date. Now she is gun shy because he has completely disregarded her. The BEST advice I have for a person like this is just that. It was a first date and to remember "You are just meeting them for the first time". If they do not like you for any one reason or many. Leave them be. It wasn't meant to be. There are plenty of men and women out there who will be interested. And last but not least...Just be yourself. They want to know about you but not all in one night. Good Luck on the dating scene!
When meeting someone for the first time you often want to make a good impression but you don't want them to think you're a complete weirdo.
So first of you want to have eye contact so they know you're listening but don't stare into their eyes the whole time because you'll look like a crazy person.
Secondly relax regulate you're breathing because if you're relax so will they.
Open areas like parks are advised so there is always something to think about than being in a bar a just staring at someone across the room.
By IzzySparks, England - London, United Kingdom
Everyone has gut instincts..."know when to follow them". If something doesn't feel right, then it's not. Listen to the voice in your head: It gives you 2 options "yes or no", "stay or go", hopefully you get the point. Know your body language!!! You should always be able to tell if someone is lieing to you...9.98% of the time their arms and/or legs will be crossed and they will not look you in the eye. Anyone who does not have good eye contact "BE WEERY!" If they dance around the subject/question without an absolute answer/response then follow your gut. They're doing either one of two things...they're lieing or their tryingto hide something... Use your head/heart that's what it's there for.
By canchasr3, Kingsland, Georgia, United State
Work out what it is that you would like from a relationship (keeping it realistic, relationships are about give and take). Keep referring to your core values, is he/she ticking most of your boxes!?
No matter how convincing that person may seem listen to your instincts they rarely fail: is the contact you're receiving what you expect or what you would give? Do they remember the little details about you?
Above all else be true to yourself and what you deserve from a partner. If you stick within your moral compass you will never disappoint yourself.
By FrocksAndHeels, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
If you are trying to find the best candidate to be with you for a long time here's some of my own tips that can be helpful. First of all always be honest. There's few people left in the world that are honest with themselves, second be loyal to your partner, no one likes to get cheated it really makes your partner feel very bad. Another thing be respectful to your partner, humans were not created to be hit or punished, and one last tip be a good listener to your partner; instead of shouting to one another try to fix the problem calmly, and not trying to solve the problem with anger, also if a person has anger issues it's better to wait a few minutes or hours in order to solve a problem calmly. Well hope this tips help a few people to be better partners and enjoy a better love life.
By K1k310Nudist24, California, United States
When dating some one with bipolar always remember that one minute they are up and another they are down. The best thing to do when he/she is arguing with you is to just agree to disagree. When some one has bipolar it does not mean they have a mental disability it just means they get mad, sad, or happy faster. The thing I have learned dating some one with bipolar and having it myself is that in an argument you just can't win. So to end the yelling or screaming it is just better to go with it. There are many of different types of bipolar. So you never really know what kind of mood swing they will have. I hope this was useful.
By Demongirl92, Oregon, United States
If you are into whatever your partner's culture is , make sure they know you are dating them because you like them not because of their culture only. That is treating them like a flavor of the week..or month. For instance, if you have a serious interest in japanese culture and the person you are seeing is japanese do not make them think you are into them simply because you have a fascination with the culture. They need to know you love them simply because they are them.
SesshoumarusMiko, South Carolina, United States
I would suggest not expecting anything and always being grateful and showing your genuine appreciation. My father always would tell us how bad it would make him feel when we weren't appreciative or criticized his choice in activity or restaurant.
By LovingMyLife247, Corona,California, United States
When you are dating online, it can be very easy to feel like you are in a type of fantasy world. Therefore, it is easy to feel like the person you are chatting with could be "the one" after only chatting for a few days. When you are chatting with someone ask yourself if this is the type of person I would normally be attracted to off line. Also make sure that you ask for a recent photograph.
Another tip is every time you chat with the person, print off or save your conversations. If over 3 or 4 conversations their story starts to change you need to question them about the inconsistencies.
Also before you meet someone off line you need to make sure you are ready to meet them. Don't meet them just because they want to or you think you need to meet them. If it doesn't feel right to meet them then don't. If the person you are chatting with is really genuine they should understand and honor your decision.
Bottom line...as in off line dating...take your time. If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.
By JohnBoy131, California, United States
It may from time to time seem as though the male half of the population hasn't fully grasped the concept of staying in touch. But trust me, we know how to call you when you haven't called us.
If you call constantly to just check in, then the chances are he will feel smothered within a week, and will lose interest or just assume you are plain desperate. No matter how much you want to call, please don't! If you don't call, he will start to panic and think that you have a life that doesn't revolve around him and don't make him the center of your world.
Men love doing their own thing, and they love a woman who does her own thing even more. Keep hanging out with your friends, go for a meal with your sisters, have drinks after work. And after a certain amount of time, you will start doing many of these things together. But take it slowly and don't rush into spending every evening with your new man. He will want his own space and really appreciate you if you give it to him.
By rockerbabe2016, California, United States
Do not meet the family until you are sure this is the one and you are in a committed relationship. This can really ruin your relationship because meeting the family and parents are not always supportive and understanding as you would want them to be.
I was never big into having my guy friends meet my dysfunctional family because it would mean another layer of crap I would have to deal with from my family. Not to say my family was bad, but family can be a little too intrusive with questions and prodding and advice that made me want to just avoid it altogether.
I'd say be patient because sooner or later he will eventually have to meet and endure them .
By Beauteefulaydee, Georgia, United States
Let's be honest here, it sometimes feels a little weird looking for a date online! And, most of us who have, might have felt at times that maybe we just weren't made for online dating...? We're not photogenic enough, we don't have any zippy comments to grab that cute guys attention and our winks are never returned. If you happen to be one of the thousands of people who isn't having any success on dating sites then you should definitely try giving your profile a bit of a tweak to show off your good side!
One suggestion might be getting a friend to take some pictures that really show off that cute side of you! But once you've tried that you need to keep in mind that we all go through a bit of a dry spell at times and when someone flakes on you or makes it clear that they're just not interested in you, you need to not take it personally.
Coz the truth is you cant tell why a person isn't interested. And while we're ALL tempted to think that its our massive forehead or our curvy figures, the more likely scenario is that they just weren't your type anyway...
By Sass_Chic, New South Wales, Australia
Ask anyone: Self-confidence is the sexiest thing there is. We're not talking huge ego, just relieving someone else of the constant pressure to reassure you that you're attractive. Relax - that person wouldn't be there with you in the first place if there weren't something intriguing about you. And vice versa, so be sure and show it. Let your companion know, by smiles, by friendly questions, by placing your attention where it belongs (hint: on them!), that you're glad to be sharing some time together. Honor their interest as valid, and you're on the road to make a friend - and that's where every good relationship begins.
Think about it if Mother Natures weren't invested in variety, we'd all be the same. Same height, weight, hair color, eye color, same everything. Boring! So to keep things interesting and the human race rolling merrily along we've all got our little preferences. It could be anything that brings the two of you together. You've got freckles, he adores freckles. He's got the cutest fringe of curly black hair, you melt when he finally takes off the baseball cap.
And since this is a group favoring the more generously proportioned, no matter what the commercials on TV want you to think, the right answer to "Does this make me look fat?" is "Yes!!" And that's a direct quote from a conversation I had with one of my own favorite guys.
Now, once you do get together, after the initial attraction, you'll take the time to explore those other areas of compatibility. You know: politics, religion, whether or not either of you is willing and able to fry up some eggs on a Sunday morning. Pet preferences, skill with a socket wrench, paper or plastic the whole mosaic of human interaction.
But right now, at the start of things, you're miles ahead if you can just remember the most important part: that girl with the freckles or the guy with the fringe of curly black hair is here with you now because you've stirred something very pleasant in their hearts. So relax, enjoy, get to know one another and have a good time. There's nothing sweeter than romance.
By photoshopimage, New York, United States
So you're at a convention, whether it is a renaissance fair or a video gaming con or an anime con, you already have a topic you can talk to the opposite sex about.
What is nice about finding someone at this type of event is that you already have a similar interest. Most people do not go to cons or big gatherings because they want to be alone. If they are solo, then there is a very good chance that person isn't taken. With any convention type gathering, lines will gather so this is a great opportunity to open up a discussion. You have a topic to discuss, so do a small ice breaker and see if the interest level to talk to is there. Even if it isn't, you have a great opportunity to make a friend. If the interest is there, see if you want to maybe go to an event together. It's a very inexpensive date because you are already there and if it goes horrid, at least you are at an event which you went to for fun so there is little to lose.
Main goal is to have fun and be yourself. Bring out your inner nerd. When you go to the event, you will have to grab a bite to eat to survive so find a quiet area and talk. Most of these events also have some late night fun whether a dance or a bar close by. Perhaps if it all goes well in the evening, try to go for more of an intimate setting. Most people travel and stay at hotels so if this works out, you def have the enticement to bring it back to the hotel for some after fun.
Now nobody should ever go to an event expecting to score or hookup. If it doesn't happen, you're bound to be disappointed. Have fun, be sociable and see where it leaves. Remember even though it is a gathering of similar interests; be on your best behavior. Acting like a fool or acting over confident will scare anyone off whether it's a convention or not. These are the best ways to find someone and what better places to try than at an event you both enjoy.
By Klampo, Pennsylvania, United States
The long term aim when meeting a fellow should be continued friendship.
For a first meet, I think it is so important to look good and feel good about yourself and dress appropriate for the occasion.
First meet would be best textile and get to know the person (all part of the longer term strategy to remain friends) and then agree together how to move on to the next phase or activity together.
By ferrari360, England, United Kingdom
Is your date "Relationship Ready"?
How do you know that some of the behaviors you are witnessing are not just the result of "new date jitters?" If you are looking for a long-term relationship, you will want someone who is "relationship ready" as well. If you are like most of us, you would want to look for someone who is free from past relationships and who is taking care of the critical areas of his/her life.
After interviewing numerous men and women and recalling some of my own major "deal breakers", here is a list of the top things to watch out for, on the first few dates signaling that your date is not relationship ready.
Your Date is Not Emotionally Available or Serious Minded.
They talk repeatedly about their Ex or past relationships: are they over the relationship yet? They broke up very recently: has your date had other relationships since the break-up or are you one of their first dates. They may be unable to move on and begin a new relationship if still in the "recovery mode.". Your date seem commitment phobic: have they really had a serious relationship or have they had a string of short-lived ones. He/she makes sexual innuendos and wants to take to you bed (remember, we are talking about the first few dates): no question here, this is not the best way to start a long term relationship. Your date obviously does not want to get to know who you are first.
Your Date Comes off as Self-Centered / Rude.
He/she acts disinterested: avoiding eye contact, not engaging in conversation, looking over your shoulder, looking at his BlackBerry, etc.. Your date talks about themselves, not asking anything about you: are you struggling to get airtime in the conversation? Does he/she boast about how much money they make or their accomplishments? Its all about "Me Me Me." This may be a signal of selfishness, even insecurity. He/she answers calls during your date: unless your date is a brain surgeon, this is a sign of disrespect of your time and that this date is not a priority. Your date is not ready on time or arrives late (past your personal threshold) and offers no excuse: this in itself may not be a "deal breaker, but could be, if he/she is showing other signs of being disinterested.
Your Date is not on Top of his/her Personal Business.
Ladies, on a first date, he has you pay the entire bill: any way you look at this one, on a first date, it is inconsiderate and a sign of a shortage on funds. His/her credit card is declined: it could be that a payment has been forgotten, but may be signs of overspending if your date has a flashy watch, expensive car, and talks about extravagant hobbies/lifestyle. Those things are nice, but are a red flag if his card is maxed out. Your date arrives in a beat up car that is in need of major body work: a sign that he/she lacks collision insurance for his car or has no available funds for repairs.
Your Date May Have Substance Abuse Issues.
Your date is drinking excessively or arrives after having a few drinks under their belt: does he/she show signs of having a drinking problem or any substance abuse problem? He/she makes several trips to the restroom and returns appearing under the influence (talks quickly, slurred speech, too energetic/hyper, sweaty, dilated pupils, etc.)
He /she is Dishonest.
Your date confesses (or you find out) they were less than truthful about anything critical they told you personally or indicated in their online dating profile: age, marital status, living arrangements, children, job, physical appearance, etc. It begs to question: "What else are they holding back?"
By Larisa_V, Kyyiv, Misto, Ukraine
You've done it. You've finally found the one guy that you're
absolutely head over heels for. And though you're ready to introduce
the big "L" word, he might seem a little shy. Rest easy, though. When
it comes to love, it's all in what isn't said.
1. He Remembers Whether you told him about a recent show you watched or asked him to meet up with you next week for a dinner date, he has no trouble remembering.
2. He Touches You Touching in this sense is more about hand holding or hugs in public rather than sexual caresses. Skin-to-skin contact is a big deal. It shows a high level of intimacy.
3. He Wants to Do Things with You He's trying to share what he loves with you. This is a definite sign of love as he's trying to bring together two parts of his life that he really enjoys.
4. He Wants to Try What You Like If he loves you, he'll be willing to try what you like as well. The fact that he's making an effort really shows a strong amount of affection and selflessness.
5. He Gets You Special Gifts Special gifts aren't mass-marketed stuffed animals or jewelry. Special gifts are collector edition versions of your favorite movie or a homemade dinner of your favorite dishes.
By uklive, Cumbria, United Kingdom
We all know about the hair toss (an exposed neck = primitive lust!), body language (uncross those arms! Lean forward!) and gazing directly into his eyes (I'm baring my soul to you!) as ways to flirt. These are usually methods used to get a date. But what about flirting when you're ON a date (ie. non-verbal ways of saying to him "I'm into you")? Here are some tips you may want to try:
*WARNING: THESE ARE NOT MEANT TO DEGRADE WOMEN, OR TO SUGGEST THAT WOMEN NEED TO CATER TO MEN, OR USE TIPS/TRICKS TO EXPRESS THEIR INTEREST.EVERYONE DESERVES LOVE, RESPECT & EQUALITY.*
1. When you're at a restaurant/club/lounge and seated in a booth, after you first sit down, scooch over to the middle, so you're closer to him. You moving towards him makes him feel important. If you are seated at a ginormous table, consider moving to his side, so you are sitting next to him. Obviously, this does't apply in every situation depending on the physical layout of the place.
2. At some point during the conversation, if he says something funny or poignant, briefly touch his forearm (ie. for a few seconds) and then let your hand fall away.
3. As you are walking out, hook your arm in his, at the elbow (like you've already been dating for months), and, when you part ways, give his upper arm/bicep a light squeeze.
This is primitive, caveman stuff. You are letting him know you're his woman. Try using just (1) of the above, and see if it works. Trust me, it does!
By DaliLover, Los Angeles, CA United States
So my lady says to me the other day, "I love you just the way you are." How sweet, right? Well, hang on, it's not that simple. Let me give you the history of the conversation ...
We had just sat down for a pasta dinner. Now, I love pasta. The more the better, and with loads of beef, sausage and marinara sauce. Except we were about to enjoy some fluffy concoction of penne with shrimp and a lemon wine sauce. Not too shabby, but not my good ol' spaghetti and meatballs. And I'm not complaining, since this is the first time I've been able to slip pasta onto our weekly menu in a month or two. Why, you ask? Because she is not a pasta fan. And I say "not a fan" as in she feels it is one step up from having a dog fart in her face -- and this watered down version of pasta is the compromise I make.
Now back to the present. Why does she love me just the way I am? Because I don't eat pasta very often, and when I do it's a frou-frou blend of exotic herbs and "complex" wines. Herein lies the problem. That's not who I am. I want a meatball the size of a football covering a hubcap-size plate of noodles dripping with sweet, sweet marinara. And a beer. Or wine (to drink, not to enhance the tender texture of the noodle).
So, why the confusion between us? Because, in my haste to earn my love's affection, I took something she said during one of our first dates about how she loves all food "except pasta" to heart. Fast forward a couple years and we've had pasta together like twice. It wasn't such a big deal at first, when our dining together was sporadic. I could knock out a lasagna for dinner and eat it for lunch the rest of the week. But as we eventually started eating more and more meals together, bam, "ah, it's'a no spaghetti'ah for you" (in your best Italian accent).
Now, for the lesson. Be yourself because, whoever you are, if that's who she likes, that's who you'll have to be if you want her to stick around. So put beer on your cheerios, set up your PlayStation in front of the toilet and pull your own finger -- because if you don't do it now, you'll never get away with it later.
By tomsguam, New Jersey, United States