MEMBERS' DATING ADVICE & SAFETY TIPS (1,400+)

The most comprehensive dating tips in the world!
  • Be patient for replies. If no response, don't sweat it. Move on.

    Don't automatically think someone isn't interested if they do not reply right away.

    Don't leave rude or nasty messages. The best thing you can do is: Leave a decent message. The first spoken words are important, And an indicator of how a person may be. So be patient, Eventually they will reply. If not, Don't sweat it. Move on.

    By Anonymous

  • Choose your intelligent mate based on grammar proficiency

    Typically success/money parallels intellect. Correct grammar and spelling is an easy way to find a truly intelligent mate. Those that are serious about being on this site have taken the time to create an attractive profile, not just with content, but with their grammar abilities as well. They say most people marry within 10% of their intellect and let's face it...at the end of the day (and after the great sex), you have to be able to carry on a conversation.

  • Don't include any spelling or grammar errors in your email

    Nothing is worse than checking the E-mail inbox only to find another message from an "intelegent" person who spelled every other word incorrectly.

    Your spelling and grammar are more than a way to communicate with a possible match - it provides insight as to who YOU actually are. The word "I'' needs to be capitalized and the word "you" is never "u". If you can't take the time to write out what you want to say, why should the take the time out to respond?

    Please, put some effort into your e-mails, stop using text speech short cuts, and no more copy and pasted generic E-mails to everyone that pops up on your search. Remember, it is not quantity that matters, it is quality!

    By MiamiTeacher4U, Miami, FL, United States

  • Don't sabotage the possibilities by rushing to ask qualifying questions

    Imagine that a conversation online is not unlike one that might be struck up while attending a party, with folks surrounding you that you are meeting for the first time. There are numerous factors that race through your mind as you circulate around the room - sizing up people in search of those who might be interesting to get to know. You enter into those small talk moments with no agenda, no expectation-willing to let the moments pass and see if something evolves that encourages you to engage further. Don't enter a conversation online and sabotage the possibilities by rushing to ask qualifying questions. It's a conversation, not an interrogation, and no one likes to be interrogated and judged. Let the conversation flow, with an open mind. If you cannot do that, then perhaps you are not ready to explore the possibilities for meeting and making new friends online. "Time is of the essence" may be an important maxim to follow in many areas in life, but not when it comes to the journey to friendship and establishing connection with others we encounter along the way…

    By jemster, Virginia, United States

  • Don't send "Winks" - Get Better Results!

    Nothing kills the excitement of getting a notice of a message waiting, than to see that it's a "wink". The fact that it's a wink sends me a negative impression - especially when it says "I'm interested! Feel free to message me!". That tells me that the man in question made just enough effort to press a button, but no more. And I've decided not to answer these any more. Because if he's leaving all of the conversational "heavy lifting" to me ("Feel free to message me"), it means that he's shirked his responsibility regarding thinking about creating the connection. Instead, I would advise those who are "winking" (whatever your gender) to do the following:

    * Compose a brief, 2-3 sentence message to post
    * Send a private message, instead of posting it as a photo comment or at the top of the profile page
    * Start with a positive personal comment about their eyes or smile in their photo - no comments about anything more personal than that. Tell them that you SEE them and appreciate something about what you see.
    * Then go on and talk about something that you read in their profile. What made you stop and think that they would be interesting to talk to? What did they mention that caught your interest? Tell them WHY you are making contact, and what you think the two of you might be able to talk about.
    * Close with an invitation to look at your profile and to begin messaging on the site to see if there is any connection between you.

    I can almost guarantee that with about 5 minutes of effort per message, you could be talking to a whole lot more people! Just try my method instead of the next 3 "winks" that you're tempted to send out. What have you got to lose?

    By FrancesMary, Ontario, Canada

  • Getting acquainted through Email and Online Chat

    When utilizing email and online expressing oneself by being enthusiastic, and eager would help keep the interest level high on both sides.. Online chat should be utilized to discuss the online profiles for the most part. Discussing hobbies and interests would also be good topics in which to chat. Although when emailing and chatting, many people resort to dsclosing too much about their personal life. This should be kept to a minimum as email and online chatting iare more for getting acquainted.

    Discovering ones interests and goals should be the main purpose of email and online chatting because it would prepare a relationship to grow and establish a basis to meet in person which is why email and online chatting should be fully utilized..

    By specialtaste, Indiana, United States

  • Honesty is key

    There is nothing more frustrating than chatting, emailing, or speaking to someone you think is 40 years old, is single, lives in the same town you do, has a job, etc., and then you meet them and they're 55, currently separated, no job and lives about 40 miles away.

    Honesty is KEY folks. How can you start a relationship with a lie? Well, I guess a lot of people try, but those of us with values and standards can't accept that. The solution is to post a recent picture on your profile, tell the truth, and then you'll attract the women and men who WANT to be with you. It's that simple.

    By roses510, New York, NY, United States

  • How to treat a woman while chatting online?

    When it comes to getting to know someone online, the anonymity of the Internet can be a double-edged sword.

    On one hand, you can chat and exchange emails with someone without investing too much time or your feelings, and get to know someone a little more before deciding whether or not to meet them in person.

    On the other hand, the lack of face-to-face interaction can sometimes lead people to forget the basic rules of male-female social interaction.

    The reason I say this is because I have been amazed at how many men want to talk about sex--explicit sex--the first time we connect through chatting. All of my female friends who are dating online tell me they have the same experiences when it comes to online chatting.

    So here are a few things to think of when chatting with someone for the first time.

    1. Ask yourself if what you are about to type is something that you would say to a woman you've just approached in person at a local social spot. Chances are that after 15 minutes of talking to her, if you asked her for a picture of her in her bikini or asked her what her sexual turn-ons were, she'd either slap you or walk away thinking you are a creep.

    2. Remember that while everyone is unique, the general rule is that women want to be charmed and impressed by your personality, wit and sense of humour before they will want to be intimate with you, online or in person.

    3. Most women like to be charmed by subtlety and class. Treat her like she is a lady and not a slut and you'll probably find that you'll attract a woman who is classy and VERY much into you.

    4. Forget old stereotypes! If a woman refuses to discuss sex with you online it does not mean she does not like sex or isn't interested in having sex with you. Women are very sexual beings too, they just don't want to be treated like that's the only thing they are good for, and are sensitive to those kinds of undertones in a social interaction of any kind.

    5. Think of chatting as a coffee date. Keep it simple, light, and charming. If it progresses to more than that, then go with the flow but let her set the tone.

    6. Remember that photos are not a good indication of actual chemistry between people. No matter how hot she looks in that photo, how the two of you connect when you finally meet in person is impossible to predict. If you get super intimate online you could be setting your expectations too high and end up being disappointed later.

    7. The added benefit of keeping sex out of the chatting is that anticipation and imagination are incredible aphrodisiacs. Keep charming her with your amazing personality, keep treating her like a lady, and --trust me on this one-- she'll be more turned on by you than you could ever imagine.

    8. And finally, don't forget to flirt! While there is a fine line between flirting and being explicit, remember to have fun and tell her that you think she looks amazing. Let her know that you are attracted to her but keep it G-rated.

    By Bluebelle2009, Victoria, British Columbia, Canada

  • Make sure to write creative messages - not a direct copy of your profile!

    When sending messages, don't just repeat what is on your profile already. Give others something new and even better if you mentioned something specific about your profile, as user will just ignore generic (cut and paste) messages. Also no photo is no problem as it builds mystery/imagination, but you must be willing to send one immediately if requested.

    By 1stclassquality, Victoria, Australia

  • Many want someone who is educated and can type well.

    What I have learned from this website is many of these men aren't looking for a one night stand they are looking to communicate and enjoy someone's company. By being honest and truthful men become more influenced and want to get to know you better. Expression on a date or even through a message can help. The individual on the other side reads these messages with their emotions even if it subconsciously. Being involved with technology for my degree I did study based of how people read messages and found communication was key especially if it was someone began to obtain feelings for that other person. The way someone types can also strike an emotion because many individuals on this site want someone who is educated.

    By ashiepm33, England - Hertfordshire, United Kingdom

  • Proper typing techniques

    It's important to remember the importance of correct spelling and punctuation. Sometimes an idea or thought can be confused by the omition of something as simple as a comma. Also, please don't capitalize everything because that is considered "yelling" and we don't want to do that :)

    By littlefish222,CA, United States

  • Say it like you mean it, then say it again!

    Often, non verbal communication can lead to the demise of a potential relationship before it even gets started. Here's one idea that may help. When a thought, idea, or sentence is important and you want to be sure that it is clearly understood write it like you originally intended. But, then take it a step further and re-write/re-word it in another way. If your reader didn't "get it" the first time, chances are they will the second. Good luck!

    By tharmin79, Chicago Illinois, United States

  • Say more that just "hi" or "hey" when sending your introductory email

    First impressions are everything! If someone has caught your eye you decide to reach out and send them an email, the worse thing that you can do is send a email with "Hi" or "Hey" in the body of the email and that is it. Be creative, say something funny or at least ask a question or comment about their profile or your similarities. You will immediately turn off a person who is looking for someone forthright, assertive or confident. It is very impersonal. You may be, inadvertently, representing yourself as being timid, boring, or lazy. Essentially, you are leaving it up to that person to make the first move.

    By ClassyLayD2000, Pennsylvania, United States

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  • To Text or Not to Text? An email is better!

    Text etiquette is just as important as email or chat etiquette. When you are just beginning to get to know someone, what you decide to text can either make or break the deal. So let's take a look at some scenarios in which you might find yourself when meeting that special someone online.

    The first impression and communication is through the profile. Once you have passed the profile test and inspired some curiosity you are ready to for the next phase; the wink or chat. A wink is good but an email is better. Eventually you have to get started on emailing each other and hopefully that will lead to the exchange of phone numbers. That is where the question of "to text or not to text" comes into the picture.

    One thing that is not recommended is that you continue the "getting to know you" via text. You should have completed most of your written communication by now. If you haven't spoken on the phone yet, a short text asking if it's a good time to call should be the only text you should be sending. Remember the rule: 1 text is sweet, 2 texts are a fine, but 3 texts was really a phone call. In essence, at this point texts should essentially be conversations that would take less time than polite greetings would. Texts can be cute and convenient, but they can also project the attitude that the other person is not worth the extra time it takes to make a call.

    Although it is acceptable to send a short message like, "thinking of you" or "looking forward to meeting you tonight", you should never ever ever ask someone on a date via text. Make sure you call to make a date. If you absolutely have to cancel a date because you have had a dire emergency, forget texting and make the call.

    After you get to know each other more you will know when it is a good time to send a text and what you should send. If the person is in and out of meetings and can't be disturbed please mind your fingers and don't text. If you know the person in bed by 9pm don't send texts at 11pm. Getting an e-card is nice but usually not if you are getting 5 or 6 of them throughout the day and absolutely not nice if you have been included in a thread with strangers that are getting the same text.

    Now you can text away and mind your spelling while you are at it. It just takes a second to check if "ok" is what you really wanted to send, lol :) .

    Contributed by prismclover, Florida, United States

  • Use discretion and tact when composing your messages

    Since none of us are mind readers communication should be a priority, don't be afraid to speak your mind sometimes the truth hurts but a lie is a harder hit than the truth. Many people are gullible and will believe anything where others will see right through the lie and feel insulted that you thought they would actually believe it. Be honest and use tact if you think the truth will hurt the other person.Don't be afraid to express any good or ill feelings, likes or dislikes. The truth goes along way.

    By lildudesmom, Arizona, United States

  • Use your voice when you write

    The important thing to remember is that any good relationship, whether it's a potential relationship or one already in full swing, is that chemistry is key.

    Sitting down with a person, the way you talk to each other and bounce ideas off one another is one of the main factors in that. When you start it out with email and chat, how you both write is going to take the place of face to face talking. It's not the rule for all, but applies to many, that if you're on the same wavelength in terms of language, it'll come easy. You'll suddenly go from small talk (the "how are you?" and the "what are you up to?") to having a real conversation. In fact, if you're clicking, you will almost never use the above lines when you start your first chat. Open with an observation about their profile -- it shows you read it and that you're interested!

    Use the grammar and spelling you're most comfortable using -- just know the more words you use, the more like your own voice it is, the more you'll show in the writing. If the person you talk to is the same way, there's more potential for chemistry.

    By Magdaleina, Kentucky, United States

  • When you write your intro or even reply, make it substantive and connect with something they have written.

    Taking initiative to write someone first who interest you is a good idea. When you do decide to go for it and write your potential guy don't be bland or generic make yourself stand out. When you write your intro or even reply to an email, make it substantive and connect with something they written. Show that you have read their profile or email by saying something about it and even more than jut a few sentences really captivate them and show them why they needs to look no further.

    By qblackgoddess, Florida, United States

  • Write something personal when writing an email to a potential date

    When writing an email to a potential date, don't just do a generic copy and paste job eg 'Hi, I saw your profile, you look nice. Anyway a little about me, I like watersports, polishing my Ferrari and counting my shekels in the West Wing.'It shows no sign that you've read their profile, and no-one likes to feel that they're just one of hundreds of potentials being spammed with the same non-specific email.

    Write something personal. Yes, it takes more time, but you're far more likely to get a response if you show you've actually paid attention. It doesn't have to be a missive of epic proportions; a couple of well-chosen common points are more than enough to increase your chances of a reply.

    By lisacolisaconlin, Rochdale, United Kingdom

  • Check the history of the people you are meeting

    There are many people out there with some serious skeletons in their closet, and not the rattling bones kind. I'm wanting to stress the importance of getting a background check done on whomever you are seeing, male or female. You never know when your neurotic partner may have some serious problem they aren't telling you about, i.e. assault charges, drug charges, sex charges, etc. It's important you get the truth on who you are seeing so that your safety and the safety of your kids (if you have some) is kept and you maintain control of any situation before it gets out of hand.

    Remember, trust your instincts, if it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, smells like fish, it's not chicken; and find out why it's not chicken.

    By twizzler, Texas, United States

  • Conduct background checks

    It's always good to conduct a background check before you take a relationship any further. This is to make sure that you aren't dating violent criminals, drug dealers, or child predators. Visit the Highway Patrol Website in your home state for this list. When in doubt, check them out.

    By noel198326, Missouri, United States

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