MEMBERS' DATING ADVICE & SAFETY TIPS (1,400+)

The most comprehensive dating tips in the world!
  • Keep it classy after a great first date

    Here are tips to stay class after a great first date:
    1. Say you enjoyed the date
    2. The date can end with a hug or kiss on the cheek. If you do kiss, keep it a simple one.
    3. Your date can wait for you to find your ride or walk you to your car.
    4. Never invite your date to your house for night cap.
    5. You want your date to respect you by not trying to get you in the sack.

    By AngelofHeartz, Virginia, United States

  • Show your appreciation

    If you had a good first date with someone, don't hesitate to call them, just to say, "I had a wonderful time and I look forward to spending time with you, again."

    After all, people are not mind readers and you don't want to leave someone second guessing as to whether they should keep you in the get together or the never again because, there was no response afterwards.

    You always want to start off, effectively communicating with someone you have already been out on a first date with, because the first day is the first step in seeing whether you and this person can have a nice time with and if you look forward to seeing them again, why not reach out and tell them with a few nice, kind and gentle words.

    This might be the one! And you don't want to miss out on a good girl or guy. Right?

    By Austrellia1990, Maryland, United States

  • Take the hint when he's simply not interested.

    Ok ladies, all our life, even as little girls, that first butterfly feeling of our first crush still taunts us as women. So, was your first date a success? Did he ask for your phone number? If not, and he said "be in touch,' go to the next admirer in line cause there won't be another date. Reserve the urge to wink and STALK and use your date as progress towards building confidence.

    By Kira36, Georgia, United States

  • Tell a person you're not interested instead of simply ignoring them

    It has been my experience (often) that after emailing and/or talking with other members, they tend to fall off the planet and never respond or call/write again. It shows a lack of integrity in oneself. A simple email would be most appreciated to say something like "I enjoyed speaking with you but feel we do not have the connection I am seeking at this time." Do not lead people on or left to wonder why you stopped talking to them. We are after all grown ups and assuming should not have to be our final determing factor or thought of you.

    By BellaBryn, MA, United States

  • Think of the second date as the second first date.

    Congratulations! In your quest for meaningful romance, things are starting to look up. You recently went on a first date, and it must have gone well because you now have plans for a second.

    That means it's a really good time to take a deep breath and make sure both feet are in contact with the ground. If that seems to you like a down-burst of rain on your parade, it isn't meant to be. On the contrary, the purpose is to maximize your chances of creating a successful future relationship by pointing out potential hazards in the road.

    Danger arises when you treat a second date as a shot from a starter pistol to signal that the race for romance is on. In reality, you'd be jumping the gun to take off running just yet. For one thing, after just one date, you are still just getting warmed up. Furthermore, if there is a "race" to run, it's a marathon, not a sprint. Better not to burn out in the first mile.

    The truth is, a second date would be better described as a "second first date." Think of it as version 1.5 of a new software release--mostly the same, but with slight upgrades and a few of the bugs worked out. For instance, the worst of the awkward uncertainty is behind you. You've settled the question of compatibility on the most basic level--neither of you counted the seconds until the evening ended. So far so good. But not nearly good enough to disable your firewall and hand over your password.

    Be cautious about getting too personal too soon. The quickest way to get ahead of yourself early in a new relationship is to let the conversation wander into territory that's highly personal. But remember: You don't yet know how trustworthy your date is! Now is not the time to play Truth or Dare, confess your sins, or to disclose your secret fantasies. There is still plenty of "public domain" details left to discover about each other--no need to open the safe and reveal your classified information.

    One way to be sure you maintain control over conversation content is to decide what you'd like to discuss before you go out. What are the unanswered questions left over from your first date? Focus on those and you'll be less likely to regret saying too much.

    Handle chemistry with care. Romantic attraction and sexual energy--which can show up anytime, ready or not--are a lot like rocket fuel. They possess the potential energy to lift you into orbit--or to explode in a ball of flame on the launch pad before you're even aboard the ship. The key is to keep away from the ignition switch until you've worked your way through the pre-flight checklist, your seat-belt is securely fastened, and you are sure you're ready. In other words, too much physical intimacy on a second date often creates confusion at a time when you're seeking clarity. Want your second date to lead to a third . . . and a fourth? Pace yourself. Slow down, and enjoy the deliberate and delightful unfolding of your new relationship.

    By Lucky_Angel, Khaskovo, Bulgaria

  • Three types of honest responses.

    Content: Sometimes the chemistry (or lack of it) is really obvious to both people after a first date! But at other times, you both might be letting the experience settle in a little bit as you decide how you feel about the person. At these times, each person might be wondering what the other person is thinking, and it is incredibly useful to be direct and honest.

    At this early stage in a potential relationship, you have very little to lose! So feel free to just tell the person exactly what you are experiencing, in a kind way. If you know you really like the person and want to see them again soon, tell them! And also allow them the space to feel out their own side of things. You might say, "I loved getting to know you a bit last night. I am pretty excited to see you again soon. Would you like to meet with me a second time?"

    If you are still assessing your feelings for the person, you could say something like, "Hey, thanks so much for the time we spent together! I'm enjoying having a chance to reflect on our connection. I might need a few days to decide where I want to take this. I will be in touch!"

    If you know that you are not interested in seeing the person again, a kind and direct message is MUCH better than vague silence. The trouble is, people can be silent for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes they get busy or lose their phones or just need some alone time. None of these things mean they don't want to see you again. And so silence can leave people wondering...

    If the person you just met is not your ideal mate, that's okay! That's why there are so many different people out there, with such diverse qualities and tastes. So if someone is not for you, they don't have to take it personally. There is someone else out there who might just want exactly what they've got. So feel free to cut the person loose to focus their energy in other directions. You can say something like, "I really appreciate the time and attention we got to share yesterday. I don't think our connection is quite what I'm looking for right now. I wish you all the best in your dating adventures!"

    Act with self-respect and high self esteem, and show others respect by honoring them with honest communication.

    By ILoveYouSoRound, Colorado, United States

  • Turning down people

    After the first date, when one party or the other sees that it's just not a good fit, I feel it's very rude to the other person not to acknowledge, thank the person and gently tell the other person they're looking for something else, or it doesn't feel like a good fit. In other words, be polite, turn down the person gently. To not respond after the date is rude and anyone like that who's on this site should know better, since hopefully, subscribers have a higher level of education and manners to match!

    By operagirl1, New York, United States

  • Watch out 8 things after first date.

    I would like to share my opinions here about the days after first date.

    1- You both like each other and decided to keep in touch after first date. Now you both are in the danger zone. Because next couple of days you both will receive some emails and winks. Do not change your course and focus on new winks and emails.Focus on your recent date. You can't date everybody at the site, focus on your real interest.
    2- Do not call or text your date too many times during the day,stay cool, don't show your feelings extremely.
    3- Be a little bit mysterious. Give a chance to your date discovers you day by day.
    4- Don't talk about future plans,marriage,having kids etc...It's too early to talk about those serious subjects.
    5- When you date someone,do not date somebody else. Your date will feel it,and you might lose her/him.
    6- Do not text long. Be smart and creative. Make your date laugh.
    7- Try to be different. Always think out of the box.
    8- After spending two hours at the gym, read as well.Most of the people attract smart individuals.

    The days between first and second dates are so important. Try not to be seem weird and miserable .

    Be yourself and natural.Do not lie. Do not try to look rich and successful guy unless you aren't.

    Good luck.

    By abaja47´╝îFlorida, United States

  • When is it appropriate to call a guy after the first date?

    Never! Even if it is to say, last night was wonderful. Thank you, Mr. Perfect?. N-O! I suggest you kindly thank him at your doorstep. If a woman decides she just can't wait to call Mr. Perfect, then by all means, I suggest her calling him. However, her eagerness may come off as desperation to certain men. If he is interested, he will call within 72 hours. If he takes longer, the smart thing to do would be to move on as there are plenty more men out there who are more considerate and deserving. Keep your option - married with the letters - open.

    My advice is to never put your life on pause. Never wait by the phone! And since we live in the age of cell phones please don't give him a personalized ring tone so that the moment he calls, you drop everything, rush to a quiet corner and push talk. Don't even text. I understand it's the age we live in, but some things shouldn't be texted.

    No, I am not against women that are forward, but men tend to stay away from those types? When deciding who gets the ring. I believe that we as women need to be a lot more subtle in our approach, yet more direct with our intentions and desires. There are ways to show a man that you are interested, i.e. going out with him (nothing more!). If he doesn't feel that your presence is a gift (not to mention the hours we spend getting ready for the date, oh boy!), then he isn't worth the napkins you wipe the crumbs off your face with.

    Not making the first call succeeding a date is not as post-modern as you may think. I find that guys actually find a thrill in seeking the woman. It's what they do. (Trust me, with five testosterone loaded brothers and a guy as a best friend for six years, I should know.) They are hunters. Not giving in is not necessarily detrimental to his ego.

    I like to compare men to wild cats. If you lay a piece of meat in front of that cat, it will sniff it, then walk away - maybe come back (if it is hungry enough - perhaps starving!). It's in their default instinct. Just as the cat, men don't trust what they don't catch. He will maybe like you - and in some cases wife you. But, there will be one question that lingers: how much does he really enjoy you? Trust me time will tell. Lord forbids he has a side chick (adab).

    Consider this: if he takes long to call, you may not have left an impression that he considers memorable. If so, he would be calling you pronto. Not to say that your enigma needs reviving or you are incapable of wowing Mr. Perfect. Be the best at what you do naturally - BE YOURSELF! All I am suggesting is that you understand your worth. If the two of you vibe, make him work to maintain you because you are worth immediate follow-up. Period, point blank. Because by the time you two are an item his appetite should be wet for you and you should know how to properly take care of him and have it together. You can't lead a Lion to a dry oasis. Make him want to devour you and all that you stand for. Lol.

    I say these things because I want all women to have healthy, happy relationships. Plus I have standards. Leading by example is what I do. ;). DIVA!!! Advice from the Diva Kharysma: Men are naturally nonchalant beings and they forget things (including birthdays and anniversaries) very easily, but you should be the one thing that he doesn't easily forget.

    By Kharysma, Illinois, United States

  • How do I know when someone wants to make a commitment?

    If no one has asked the question, "Will you be committed to me?" and the other person has not responded, "Yes!" Then there should be no expectation of commitment even if two people have had sexual intercourse. One can always say, I thought we were just fooling around. First have the clear conversation that you both want a one on one, LTR. I let it be known that I will continue to date until someone ask me to be in a one on one relationship with them AND I say YES. Both of these things have to happen before one can expect me to be their life partner and vice versa.

    By ishadow, North Carolina, United States

  • How to have a long lasting relationship?

    Ladies! Some of us definitely take advantage of initial sexual attraction, and seem to follow with our bodies and not our hearts. Some of us do not find each other attractive any longer. I urge you to wait for a while before entering a physical relationship. We all know that when the physical attraction gets old and all that left is the mental attraction. I promise to all those ladies who wait will benefit and receive more out of a relationship that based on mental and physical attraction then just the good looks.

    By Watchinsky, Maryland, United States.

  • How to keep the relationship going?

    The first thing you don't do, is ask more than 3 questions in a 5 min. period. Always be yourself, don't change who you are on the computer because it is lying to the one you want to find. Communication is the best way to know someone. Always talk about how you feel, otherwise you will lose communication and then the relationship. Be open and honest no matter what then if they want you, you are the same person they know, hence a longer healthier relationship and that's how you find and keep a person or two!!!

    By LOVERS3SUM, Arkansas, United States

  • How to maintain a relationship?

    Firstly, never lead you partner into something he / she may not want. Communication is the key to every relationship, whether it's online or offline. Make sure both partners agree on everything. If not, that idea or plan will not go as planned. Be direct and upfront to make your point across. No need to beat around the bush. Once you do that, you are wasting each other's time. Some people find it hard to be direct to say how they feel. But if you want to spend your whole life with someone, you will need to be direct and say what you feel and how you feel about any situation.

    Sharing ideas and plans is another key to a relationship. Of course, we can not forget honesty, trusting, loving, caring and understanding. We all want a great listening partner to share our feelings. The best advice that I can give to a long distance dating is for each partner to write down on a piece of paper what they expect to receive from the relationship. If they match, then the partners will have a great relationship. There is always bump in the road but they will overcome them "together".

    By topgun030, New Jersey, United States

  • How to make a relationship last?

    When women meet a man they have a tendency to jump in head first. The initial attraction that we have for one another is chemical and we are also intrigued with the persons individuality. Therefore, it is important to take things slowly. Don't

    drown in the initial excitement. Keep the mystery by continuing to have your own life and do things that you enjoy. Don't look for a man to be your saviour. As Khalil Gibran said in the "Prophet" , the Oak and the Cypress grow not in each others shadow.

    By sunnyFLgirl, Florida, United States

  • How to make your relationship a lot smoother

    Have you ever wondered what sets off the opposite sex? Well here are somethings not to do for your relationship to go a lot smoother.

    First the guys. Ladies, guys need sex every once in awhile so give it to them every other day or two.Also when they cry don't try to be there for them, just let them deal with it their way because they feel emasculated and they don't like that.

    Also don't accuse them of cheating and let them watch their sports. Do this and they will be happy.

    Next its the women. Guys, ladies love the sweet surprises so go put on some slow music, get a dozen roses, and let them know how much you care and love them. When they are down be there for them and listen to their problems and use your brain to figure out how to make them happy again.

    Also when you screw up and make them sad,no matter how much you don't want to, apologize and admit you were wrong. Just try to let them know they are the most important thing in the world to you. Take them out unexpectedly.Do that then its all good.

    By 2hot4u2002, Ohio, United States

  • How to meet someone to share a long term relationship with online?

    If your intention on this site is to meet someone to share a long term relationship with, it's important to spend some time talking via email before you move things forward. It's easy for people to get excited over another member's photo, but the benefit of dating sites is the ability to eliminate involvement with people who aren't suitable mates... possibly the sort of people we've dated in the past, against our better judgement; before getting too involved.

    Reading a profile thoroughly, and looking for signs of compatability on a deeper level is a good first step. Emailing back and forth, at least a few times, is a good way to ask questions about the things that really matter to you; before you get too wrapped up in chemistry to care. On that note, asking someone to send you more pictures only shows they got your attention with their looks.

    Chemistry is essential, I know, but as long as you find someone even mildly attractive, the time online should be spentgetting to know their interests and values. If you decide, in time, to meet, Then you will know if there's chemistry... and it won't be just based on their looks. It can be built by the conversations you have shared, and by humor. Chemistry is an energy, and is often found in surprising places, so look for the things that matter, and leave the rest to nature.

    By itstillme, New Jersey, United States

  • 5 tips to communicate with men

    To my fellow women, I have been observing men for a while now, and I believe they are amazing beings, however they are a little lost. You see 50 years ago, men were supposed to have a great career, marry well, have a nice family and provide for the family. Women were the pillars of any healthy life on a man's world. I don't say it was an ideal situation and I am not a sexist/feminist, but that is how it was. And then in the last 50 yeas women have acquired so much independence in such a short period of time that man are somewhat lost on what their role are. And dare I say they are a bit afraid. So in this confusion of nowadays, where men are not sure of what to do and what is their role in a woman's life, and women can have it all without man but still deep down want one (it is ok we are meant to procreate and conquer) there is only one advice I could give: Communicate clearly what you want!

    1. Men do not hear our thoughts. If you want him to know, just say it.

    2. Men are very practical - say it in fewer key words or show it.

    3. Men are sometimes shy and afraid and that could lead to some strange male behavior - don't be hostile, just explain what your likes and dislikes are and it is OK to suggest how you would prefer to be treated/handled. Just ask.

    4. Men do not come with instructions book, neither women, so be your own instruction book, make it clear when you like a situation, a sentence, a gesture, and show your dislike in a constructive way for all other scenarios.

    5. Don't judge, jump into conclusions, interpret or imagine. Just ask!

    I hope this helps, not only in dating as in any job interview.

    By Miss_Millionaire, Corse, France

  • Ask your date direct questions, without creating unnecessary pressure

    Don't assume that you have the same understanding of the nature of your relationship and its exclusivity. While it may feel a little awkward, in the long run you will be doing yourself a favor by asking your date direct questions about his/hers understanding of your relationship, without creating unnecessary pressure.

    By Asana6, New York, United States

  • Be Approachable and Not Over Informative

    The belief that it's important to be approachable when communicating with potential mates streams strictly from experience.

    1. Get a feel for your date's outlooks. Ask questions to better understand the levels he/she may currently stand. If it gets awkward, don't shut down; remain open to discuss other avenues. Understanding if your potential mate has views similar to your own can reduce stressful or unwanted nuisances later down the line.

    2. When faced with more difficult or unwanted conversations, remain approachable. Don't assume the need to convey a victimized or aggressive role. Just as it's said not to downsize a previous employer, it's just as helpful to restrain from ridiculing a past relationship. Chances are if you choose to do so, your date may question your motives if/when you display questionable characteristics. Choosing not to ridicule can reduce chances that information given about past relationships will not be uninformatively asserted into your current potential relationship.

    3. Leave room for one to learn of any positive attributes about yourself. It's always great to share the positives but even better to display those as well. This can possibly encourage a date to WANT to know more about you, reduce simple physical attractions, and help you two engage in more psychological similarities. One cannot force another to see the good in themselves but rather show and hope that an attraction remains on physical, emotional, and mental levels.

    It is hoped that this improves ones chances to finding the One. I wish all the best and open to feedback.

    By DreamersDream, TX United States

  • Better in person than in written word - Don't read into something that's not there

    Sometimes it's hard to know what someone's saying, especially in just a few words. I can talk to anyone, and I have done a bit of copywriting in my life, so I know how to read from both sides what's said. But that's not the case with everyone! And that' not a reason to not love them, is it? Some people are better in person than in the written word. They might come off shy or over confident. They may be short with the word, or too long winded just trying to explain. But be patient, if you ask the right questions you might be able to find out more than you think. And if they aren't long worded, don't read into that anything either. It might not be their skill. I know a great engineer, who is absolutely darling when he speaks, but leave him to a keyboard and he just can't speak that way! I also know a great journalist, and unless he writes to me, he's unable to share his deep thoughts verbally. (He's sweet though). So don't always read into something that's just not there, try some typing, and some verbal discussion... and throw in a meet and greet before you decide!

    By LivingbytheShore, South Carolina, United States

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