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I realize that not everyone was taught proper dating topics and behavior and some tend to be a huge turn off for women so please consider leaving these behind when on your first date.
1. Do not discuss your horrible experiences online or in person, and the bad dates you recently had. I don't want to hear about women getting drunk or doing or saying inappropriate things and I will question how much time you invested in discovering this person before you ventured on a date.
2. Do not mention that you have great chemistry and that you don't find this very often. If your date does not feel the same way she will feel awkward to react without hurting your feelings.
3. Do not tell your date anything about past relationships or ex girlfriends. The first date is about what you have in common with her and she does not need to think she is being compared to someone in your past.
4. Do not order food for her in a foreign language and not tell her what it is. Some people choose not to eat certain foods and nobody should be forced to try something they may not choose to eat.
5. Do not lie about your intentions, such as calling or scheduling a second date. It is acceptable to end a date by saying you had a nice time, but there may be something missing for you to have a connection. Her feelings may be hurt but she will be over it much faster than if you lie or mislead her to believe other than the truth.
By AZItalianBella, Arizona, United States
First dates, some of them rate right up there next to root canals, or babysitting your grandmother's cat. The fact is that one or both parties are usually nervous, and not necessarily completely themselves on that first real date. Words on a page are a lot less intimidating than actually having that gorgeous gentleman sitting in front of you causing you to completely lose all rational thought or ability to speak! Browsing through her photos on your blackberry is not the same as having to keep reminding yourself not to look down when she wears that low-cut shirt and wonders why you don't seem to be paying attention to what she's saying!
So what's the solution to the first-date-flops? A second chance. Maybe you didn't feel like there was any chemistry on that first date, but give it one more shot just to be sure. Second dates are generally more laid-back, we tend to allow more of our "true" selves to come out, and people often find something that they missed before. It's always better to put a little more effort into that second chance, than to wonder "what if..." for the rest of your life.
By MorenaSalsera, Utah, United States
Women give yourself a way out of a bad date. Have a friend to call one hour into your date and if the date is going bad or you are feeling uncomfortable with your date, then the phone call can give you an excuse to leave. But, if the date is going well than just apology for your friend for calling in the middle of your date and continue.
By Cassady, Lubbock, Texas, United States
Never accept a lift off somebody you have only just met on-line. If you are going on a date, always drive yourself. This way you are not left alone with your date and you can leave any time you like, you are not reliant on your date to drive you. Driving also stops you from drinking. Again, always stay sober when on a first date with a stranger.
By hi_my_name_is_aj,United Kingdom
Everyone gets slightly nervous before a first date, it's totally natural to feel anxious when meeting someone for the first time. Just make sure you don't try to drink the nerves away! Getting a 'good buzz' on before you go on your date can only lead to disaster, you end up so tipsy that you're not truly yourself or make a stupid decision that you might regret later. Try to just relax, take a deep breathe and enjoy yourself. After all, it is only a first date.
By Lavish_1, California, United States
Turn your cell phone ringer off. Do not look at it to check text messages or the time. If you want to create a "deadline", set your alarm to go off 15 minutes before you want to leave. Let your date ahead of time you have a commitment and will have to go.
Take 5 minutes before you meet your date to relax, sit comfortably, and let yourself anticipate an enjoyable date.
By Muchgratitude, North Carolina, United States
For guys: Don't just tell your date what you think she wants to hear. Try actually asking her thought and provoking questions that show you are interested in her personality--like who she is and how she's come to be, where she is at this point in her life. And please pay close attention to her answers. She will tell you in the first 20 minutes everything you need to know about what she wants and expects from a new relationship.
By aimhigher, Nashville, Tennessee, United States
Lady gives her general preference. Gentleman picks a place & makes all the arrangements.
Be in a great mood. You don't get a second chance to make a first impression. Be polite, listen, and ask (few) appropriate questions. More than anything, let the other party talk and learn as much as possible about them. Observe their behavior, but don't probe too much. See how they handle & present themselves. First date is just for you to see how they make you feel.
If a second date is mutually desirable, then delve into more serious subjects, like family, goals / dreams / interests, deal-breakers & deal-makers.
Remember, you can't say a wrong thing to the right person. And you can't say the right thing to a wrong person.
By blueocean88, California(CA), United States
Don't shoot yourself in the foot on your first date, be open and honest. If you want to know something about the person you are seeing, forget about the butterflies in your stomach, and just ask. If you are asked a question, the most important thing is to tell the truth, you don't want the person you are seeing to fall in love with a lie. The person you are meant to be with will like you for who you are, you won't have to lie to them.
By Firefly09, Virginia, United States
When you first decide to open any kind of contact, it's is vital that you state up front what your expectations are. But be tactful. For instance, a good proper lady does not want to hear things like,"I can't wait to get you alone." Or any sexual innuendos like that. Play 20 questions a couple of times and keep score. If they are being honest, you will be able to compare answers and find out if you are getting double talk. Don't be afraid to ask questions about their past. You should be able to discuss it, not judge it, then leave it in the past where it belongs. But you have the right to know who you are getting involved with. Find out their name and for goodness sake check them out, before you meet face to face.
By MsKittyCat, Wisconsin, United States
Using sincerity successfully relies on you being comfortable with yourself, and on you being able to be who you really are. It is about doing what you want to do, both with partner and in your life.
If you are able to show sincere interest in other people, they usually respond favorably because you have made them feel more important. But if the interest you show is not perceived as sincere, they will feel like you are just being patronizing or condescending. So being sincere in your manner is really the key to showing interest. The problem is that it is hard to be sincere when you are not a sincere person. Sincerity comes from caring about your fellow human being as you would yourself.
There are many strategies and techniques for improving your communication with others. But your effectiveness with other people is more largely determined by your sincere interest in them. You will gain the respect and cooperation of other people by first giving of yourself with your sincerity, attention, compassion, empathy, and interest.
By Puslica, Ontario, Canada
Oh how exciting! This is your First Date with your Millionaire.com Match!! Congratulations are in order! Don't make this first meeting, your last! You've worked hard to get here, now let's do it up right! The following has worked for me! I'm happy to share!
Lunch or just "coffee" is best! Choose a quiet place where you can talk and really get to know one another without distractions! I like Barnes and Noble. It's "Library "quiet" but they have a cafe' with great coffee and beverages!
You two potential Love-Birds can buy your own! That is always a "good start"! Perhaps start off with discussion about a Book you like and maybe even have the book there to show and tell. The Magic will flow easily after you both get your engines warmed up! If there's no magic, then you've had a nice meeting and talked about a book, The important key here is to look for chemistry, even if just a little bit!
More than one Roarin Fire has begun with just a tiny flame! Also, make sure you don't dominate the conversation, This is easy to do, because you are nervous. The atmosphere may be awkward at first, but concentrate on eye contact, good subject discussion and the magic will come, if it 's there! The best to you both, Carpe Diem!
By ClassAct49, South Dakota, United States
When being out in public there are certain ways to carry yourself. Manners and home training are very important. Do not yell publicly. Do not smack your food at dinner. Do not eat all of your food and then your dates food. Men be gentlemen and ladies be ladies.
By MiyaFMB, Colorado, United States
A little etiquette goes a long way. If she looks nice, tell her that. Open the car door for her, maybe open the door as she walks into the restaurant , or offer your arm or hand as she steps down from the curb. Remember, your'e caring precious cargo with you, make her feel safe and special. Make it known to her that you are completely focused on her. Don't even think about checking out other girls while your'e with her. She's your princess, make it known that she's the only one your'e interested in. Men today have forgotten all about the simple and little things they can do for their date that will ALWAYS be appreciated by a woman. But play it by ear and don't go too overboard. Also, make sure you remember her eye color and when you're comfortable, maybe test the waters by leaning in a little closer as she speaks... If she backs away, well, it's probably not going well.
By medicblake28, CA, United States
So you're on a first date with a man you think is really cute, successful, and there's just something about him that mystifies you. Women can scare men away by saying things sometimes that can be a window into how it might be if the guy was dating you. Ok, so what not to say:
1. Don't put too much emphysis on being a very strong independent woman. Guys will immediately think you are a witch and therefore the antichrist.
2. Don't not offer to pay. 99% of the time I will pay for the lady. But at least offer to go dutch.
3. Don't talk about the same thing over and over. True story I dated a young lady who just purchased a new cellphone and she talked about it the entire time.
By TONLOU228 Tennessee, United States
1. Things to remember on a first date, when you're getting to know each other:
Give them a chance to talk, too, and ask them questions. Just don't ask too many or they're going to feel grilled, and don't jabber on forever, either. If they're just getting to know you, it can be seen as either intimidating or even obnoxious.
To quote Sex and the City: Never open the "ex" file on a first date. Even if they ask. The last thing your date needs is to get the impression that you're comparing them to the last person you went out with. Those first dates should be about the two of you.
The first date, you go dutch. Don't expect, if you're a woman, that the man is obligated to pay for you, unless he expressly said "my treat" when he asked you out.
By Magdaleina, Kentucky, United States
2. The lady normally selects a restaurant or a meeting place where she feels comfortable and known. Of course, this could be subject to change if the gentleman wants to pick the lady up in a limo to go to a surprise...Caribbean, NYC, a Lakes game in LA or an elegantly fun time in SF.
No matter where you go, make sure another friend knows your precise location and telephone number for your date. Always let someone know your dater's name and number, your planned destination, the mode of transportation, and when you will return home. These simple tasks ensure your safety with a heretofore unknown date.
By Elegant_Eclectic, Atlantic Beach, Florida, United States
If you are a shy person, dating will not be your cup of tea. Usually shy people want to meet the perfect man or woman in their lives but they are too scared to take the step. However, the good news is that if you are shy, you can still meet the perfect match provided you take steps to get over your socializing fears.
If you are shy, you should always have prepared answers to certain standard questions ready. Most shy people end up stammering because they feel they are uninteresting and the person asking the question is just being polite. So have some answers ready about yourself, what you do and what your hobbies are. Reply to any question honestly and do not apologize for anything.
Most people love to talk about themselves so have a set of questions ready. Make sure you read your list of questions before you leave home so that you are not floundering. Prepare some simple and easy questions which you will remember even if nervousness is eating into you. The moment you feel panicky and want to run away, steer the subject to the other person.
Above all make sure you are paying attention to everything the other person is saying. Do not look disinterested. Never sit during the date with a serious and glum look on your face. Smile. This does not mean you have sit and grin like an idiot but you can smile occasionally. Remember, people respond better to a friendly smiling face than to wax statue.
The moment you feel overpowered or uncomfortable, you should try breathing deeply and slowly to calm your nerves down. However, if that does not work, excuse yourself and go to the restroom to calm down.
Look confident and couple that with a good posture, smile, intelligent conversation, you are bound to enjoy yourself on a date no matter how shy you are. The biggest dating tip for a shy person is that you have to make an effort to go out and meet other people otherwise you will get no where. The more you practice the better you will get and talking to strangers will become easier.
By DisobeyDestroy, Ohio, United States
Are you having a blind date or first date where you haven't met the person yet? Many emotions and things may be running through your mind as you are nervously waiting for that day to come.
First of all, be yourself. Make good eye contact. Try to bring up conversion.As many say the key of conversion is getting to know the person better. Try not being shy as many people find it a turn off and can't learn anything about you. You want to make a good impression because first dates always give the person a thought of if they would want to have a second date with you again or if they would want to see you again.
Be polite, use manners. Make them laugh. Laughing is good and can bring out your personality, also makes the date go better. It even makes your date happy that he/ she decided to go on the date or even glad they met you. I believe that makes a good start for the both of you.
Ask questions as many say if you wanna know something "ask". But there are many boundries so don't go asking question after question, even way to personal questions should be kept for another date. You wouldn't want to rush anything or make them think you are trying to rush the date in to marriage right away.
Believe in yourself and you shall do even better then you thought you would.
Like any relationship, you wouldn't start talking about all your troubles and hardships when you first meet someone. Keep that same mentality with your man Instead, spend the first date getting to know your man. Find out what he does, what he likes and dislikes. You wouldn't want to get into a man/woman relationship not knowing anything about each other and no wan wants to be bombarded with requests on the first date. So remember keep it sweet and simple, after all it's a first date.
By Bi_beauty, Illinois, United States
On the first date never run out of words, if you do that you're done. Once you start talking about something there is no need to wait for a response from your date and shut up, instead, connect that conversation with something (or examples) that happened to you regarding that same subject to keep up flow and don't loose it. If you're not, don't try to be funny, just be fun!