MEMBERS' DATING ADVICE & SAFETY TIPS (1,400+)

The most comprehensive dating tips in the world!
  • 3 ice breakers that will help you get a conversation started

    When you go on a first date it's really easy to be awkward, so hopefully this will help you get a conversation started.

    1st. People are always interested in talking about themselves, so use that to your advantage. When you want to get to know someone, ask them questions! This way you'll know the things that you have in common, and you'll be on your way to a good conversation.

    2nd. Everyone likes music. Definitely talk about your like and dislikes in music this way you can get the other person's opinion!

    3rd. When it comes to sense of humor, everyone's is different. If you compliment the other person very well the whole night, it'll be a lot easier to joke without them feeling offended. The better they feel about themselves, the more comfortable they are!!

    Hope these helped!!

    By jenpretty, Illinois, United States

  • A First Impression Speaks Volumes

    Most women/men are interested in getting to know you on the first date. However, this doesn't mean that you have to tell him/her about all of your failed relationships, how your child(ren)'s mother/father gives you the blues, and any other extra drama that you may be experiencing. Be mindful that this is the first date.

    A first impression speaks volumes. You may be a great woman/man, but your date won't be able to see passed all the drama that you may possibly be bringing to the table. Give him/her your attention so that you can determine if you're a match. Tell him/her about YOU. Find out what the two of you have in common.

    By nancynl, Orangeburg, South Carolina, United States

  • Always ask; don't assume anything

    Even if a person presents himself as very devout, don't assume he will be a gentleman and practice what he says he believes. It is important to ask a person about his dating present, not necessarily dating history. If he says he used to be a certain way in his past, make sure you ask him how many of these behaviors or at least to what extent he is still exhibiting these behaviors in the present. Is he currently seeking a casual sexual relationship not leading to marriage and which he expects not to be exclusive or is he really looking for a potential marriage partner? That is the question to find the answer to, although the questions to ask him would probably be more subtle. It is important not to assume that the person you are on a date with is looking for the same thing you are because this assumption could lead to a situation that is devastating and heart-breaking.



    By Sincere2009, Michigan, United States
  • Ask personal questions - don't ask how the date is going

    A word of counsel from a female perspective: Do not ask your first date is she thinks the date is going well and if you should make plans to see each other again. It makes for an uncomfortable moment! Believe me, if she likes you - you will be able to tell. At the end of the date simply acknowledge that you enjoyed meeting her and leave the questions for the next day!



    By Balticflower, Florida, United States
  • Avoid these topics on a first date

    When you're first going out with a person, the first date is typically your chance to get to know him or her, see if you have chemistry -- find out which foot to start off on. These are some topics of conversation you should avoid (they're not completely off limits, because it may feel safe and comfortable to bring them up -- but these ones do run the risk of alienating someone):

    1. Exes. The last thing you need to do is to start out by talking about who you dated last, and don't press them for information about their ex. This is supposed to be a new day. Treat it like one.

    2. Politics. Sometimes people have similar views on politics. Great. But that's the sort of thing you discuss with a person that you know better; if you bring it up on a first date and you guys happen to differ, then you run the risk of having them go on the defensive. You're both practical strangers, and it'll feel like an attack.

    3. Religion. Once again, this is just something that's more appropriate to discuss at length with someone you know better. Its presence or lack of presence in your life may be a big part of you, or not. But for a lot of people, it's something very personal. Wait a few dates before putting it on the table.

    4. Marriage. Wow, can we say jumping the gun? If it's the first date, don't put too much pressure on things. If you start talking about marriage right then and there, it lays out a certain very LARGE expectation, and that's unfair to both of you.

    5. Major Trauma/Baggage. Unless something happens that causes you to revisit something scary or traumatic from your past, don't bring it up on the first date. If you lay your major problems on the table right then and there, it is going to be intimidating, and it may lead your date to remembering nothing else about you besides the baggage you're carrying with you.



    By Magdaleina, Kentucky, United States
  • Dating Communication: Pay attention to how you listen, and how he listens to you

    What you want to know about a person you can always find out on a first date by listening. He will tell his likes and his dislikes, you will know how important you will to him by the way he listens to you as well . communication is the best tool in dating and relationships.

    By Michigan, United States

  • Don't do all the talking

    Let your date talk.

    You ask the questions and REALLY listen to what they are saying as well as body language.

    Also, people that talk to you, but can't look you in the eyes are probably lying.

    Never talk about your ex's and remember that you don't need to give your whole life story within the first date.

    Keep it light and simple, need to know information (of course answer all questions you feel comfortable answering and answer them truthfully).

    Most importantly tell the truth, not only is it easier to remember than a lie, but it can't come back to bite you later.

    By immortaltessa, FL, United States

  • Don't forget to take turns in conversation!

    I'm sorry to say that my nervousness and excitement overwhelmed my brain and basic manners during my first phone call and in-person encounter with a very nice man I met online. In my rush to be honest and open, I did not remember to shut up and listen on a regular basis. I'm thinking that a simple egg timer might serve as a reminder in future to calm down and take turns and try to come across as the caring and considerate person I normally am.

    By OPBfan, Oregon, United States

  • Don't own the conversation

    When on a first date, think of it almost as an interview. You want to get to know them, they want to get to know you. Ask questions and listen. Do not just talk and talk without letting the other person get a word in. Listen to what they have to say, that way you have something to say in return. This way you do not jump off topic with another dumb question like "what's your favorite color?" Ask questions that relate to what they are talking about, etc.

    By Mikeyg23, Ohio, United States

  • Don't talk about yourself the whole time

    Sure we love hearing what kind of person you are but to tell your whole life story on the 1st date can be boring and make you seem self-centered and possible even a lil crazy. Allow the other to tell a lil about themselves, interests, etc. Keep it simple.

    By Kdawn84, Alabama, United States

  • Emphasize the positive aspects about yourself on a first date

    It's your first time meeting him/her in person. Of course you're a bit nervous or maybe you're sweating shot gun shells! That's okay and healthy. Everyone wants their best "ME" to shine through when meeting a potential friend, lover or life partner. So use the first date for just that! Emphasize the positive things about yourself.

    Don't dive into conversation about past relationships, broken hearts or lost loves. Dwelling on those things can make you seem, frankly, a bit pitiful and bitter. Do discuss the things you're interested in or passionate about (unless you're passionate about discussing your ex that left you at the alter!!!!). Try not to spend a lot of time talking about yourself.

    As much as I'm sure your date would be interested in your "1983 pet rock collection," they probably have a few things they'll want to share about themselves. So, ask questions and when answered, show real interest by asking a follow up question... Example: Gretchen just told you about how much she enjoys skydiving. Show interest in her hobby by asking, "What made you take that leap the first time?," or "You've done it so many times now, do you still get nervous before jumping?" The point is to show genuine interest. Also, those follow up questions will lead to other topics and you want to keep the conversation going. Lastly, try to relax and have a good time. Meeting someone new should be fun and exciting, especially if this person could potentially be the "One!"

    By Dani32, TN United States

  • First date is about getting them more interested not scaring them away with your troubles

    I was enjoying a first date on a nice lunch meeting. We seemed to be hitting it off just great. Mid into the lunch I could tell that his interest changed. We said our cordial goodbyes and as I suspected I never heard from him again.

    After days of going over the date with a fine toothed comb I realised that he had become uninterested when I had opened up about some resent troubles I had with my professional life.

    I think if I had waited to get into that part of my life after we had gotten to know each other a bit better he might not have to off on me so abruptly.

    First dates are about getting to see if there is cemetery between you and we seemed to have that before I talked about my problems. I'm not suggesting that you keep that from someone you hope to have a relationship with but...I don't think the first date is the time to get into details of your life that are downers. Keep the conversation light and uplifting. It a first date let him leave you wanting to know more about you and your life before him.

    By Stillrockinit, Florida United States

  • How to make early interaction on the fist date

    On the first date ask questions about the other person and then listen. Questions about their preferences, likes, dislikes. Ask them what they hope to get out of a relationship. Limit talking about yourself, to answering questions directed at you. Be a good listener and your date will be a pleasant one.

    By By unacat, Pennsylvania, United States

  • How to make your Date as your business professional

    Let's them curious about your achievement, secrets of your success, beauty in the way you represent with confident, high profile. Do not let them have sex with you easily, depends on your mood of trust and teasing your Date.
    Always be professional and guide your Date what you like, statement and plan are in place as a business.
    Share your dreams, passion, culture truly impress.
    Make yourself as independent, smart, beautiful and values.
    Of course, all men come to you for sex, only get closer when it comes natural and intension as a business.

    Good luck with all my tips.You also can turn your Date as your long-time friends and customers even no dates...

    By 2LoveInVenture, British Columbia, Canada

  • How to talk with a woman during first date

    Here are a few tips when talking with a woman during first date:

    1. Look her in the eyes and smile
    2. Shake her hand gently
    3. Be sure to be clean and wear a nice shirt! No t-shirts please (and no strong aftershaves)
    4. Ask about her life and interests - and interject if you think it adds to the conversation.
    5. Don't be too flirty, touchy but complement her honestly.
    6. Explore where you think you may want to take her for the next date and pick something she will like if she matches your interests.
    7. If there won't have next date, be honest and hopefully you can develop a friendship.
    8. If you say you are going to call - call! Or at least have a credible reason not to.

    Most of all, be yourself and have a nice time - it is an opportunity for you to get to know her.

    By CdnLovelu, England - Lincolnshire, United Kingdom

  • If he mentions marriage and all things serious on the first date things that seem to be good to be true as well as not leaving you alone physically

    This is aimed at females more so. As humans we all have hormones and a sexual side to us That's fine that's great. However. When online dating if the convo is always a sexual one even when you try to steer clear of that topic that's a red flag. If a guy only wants to sext you, repeatedly don't ignore that.Try to change the tone of the convo and verbally tell the guy you'd rather not have a one topic convo, if he goes quiet on you that says it all.

    Now if you went along with the sexting and now you're having your first face to face date seriously be careful. If the guy is all over over you and can't keep his hands off you even in public to the point it makes you uncomfortable you really need to not give in. This kind of guy most likely will have sex with on that date if you let him and then never talk to you again.

    If he also mentions marriage and all things serious on the first date things that seem to be good to be true as well as not leaving you alone physically this is another red flag, Male that two. This is usually someone who just wants to get you into bed.

    If you want something long term to come from this guy with you, you need to be the one taking it slow and not believe every word he says. If you do give in and do fall for those exaggerating words most likely as I said you will find once your date is over he will be a change man, having got the rush he wanted and got what he wanted from you on the first date he will move onto his next female.

    If you want any chance of this kind of relationship developing you have do the below, if he's still being flaky then he's not ready to be with you seriously and your best off moving on.

    1. Don't allow the conversations before meeting to be solely sexual
    2. Don't sleep with him on the first date
    3. If he's uninterested after you decline the sexual activity MOVE ON as you will just waste your time and end up with a broken heart

    By Anonymous South Carolina, United States

  • Keep Your Ex's name out of your mouth!

    It's only natural when two people first start dating, there will be a conversation held about your previous relationships, it's healthy to have open communication with your partner and address what went wrong in your previous relationships and what you learned from them. Do not however, continue to bring up you ex(s) in insignificant situations. let the past be where it is. Consistently bringing up expired relationships makes your current ones go sour. Be focuessed on the new, get to know each other on different levels other than material or physical. And never, ever, ever keep comparing your current partner to your ex partner omg!!! Super annoying & bitter!

    By LacyLeilani, San Diego, California, United States

  • Not a job interview

    Try not to make the first date like a job interview. To many times I get the same standard questions. What do you want out of life? How many kids do you have/want? What hobbies? The same old boring questions. How about playing a game like pop question. It is played by giving a short sentence and seeing what the first thing is that comes to the mind of the person you are trying to get to know. Example Rock? They could answer it many ways. They might say diamond or music. another example soft? They could answer skin, clouds, cotton, silk, any discription that comes to the mind. These answers can tell you alot about someone. Plus, it is a fun game that can break the ice and leave the dull silence to another date.

    Contributed by nashvegas1973, Tennessee, United States

  • Nothing negative about telling how you feel

    A first date can make you nervous or insecure, but with this tip you can handle every situation and even break the ice! We are all human because someone has a different life(style) doesn't mean their feelings are different.

    The only thing you have to do is say it out loud, even better during your date. Speak about what you are feeling or thinking. Easy conversation starter also your date will probably feel more relaxed knowing you are both just humans.

    So there is nothing negative about telling how you feel, it is a strong feature and shows you are confident with yourself including emotions!

    By NaturalGold, South Holland, Netherlands

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  • Talk funny and relaxed things on a first date

    To break the ice on a first date when there is a lull in the conversation, ask your date questions about themselves. These should not sound the like the questions that you would be asked on an interview. This is a first date; everything should be fun and relaxed as it can be. Ask your date questions about TV shows that they loved as a child. A great question to ask your first date is about there favorite vacation. It will help to get your date to open up on your first date and work toward an easy flowing conversation. With the conversation flowing on a first date, there will be no ice blocking the way to build toward a possible relationship with this person.

    By bzeanangel18, California, United States

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