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When you are contemplating sex with your significant other always make sure they do not have any diseases. This goes the same if you are infected, let the other person know! It is always good to suggest that you both get tested, it may be an awkward conversation but it is better to be safe than sorry.
If that person is serious about continuing the relationship with you they should have no problems getting checked. If they become defensive and angry they may be hiding something or fear of finding out themselves.
In today's society sex has become a lot more casual and a lot of the times people don't even know they have been infected. That's why it is good that you both do it. No matter what it is important to practice safe sex.
Don't feel pressured to do things you aren't comfortable with and always have a set of rules before going into a relationship such as, always using a condom.
By wanderlust9, Ontario, Canada
Making sure your using all kinds of precautions when the dates go well and you find yourself getting hot and heavy. Don't be afraid to ask if they are clean or when they were last tested. Condoms/dental dams are a good idea as well maybe just going slow for the first time. Making sure your always going at your own pace and if you feel uncomfortable telling the other person.
By Candy_pants, Alberta, Canada
Sexual intercourse has changed with the new generations and it depends on where you were grew up. No one can ask you or pressure you for something that you are not 100% sure you want to do.
Every time I date a new person. I wait a few weeks to feel comfortable to share privacy in the bedroom.
I never have sex without a condom and when I'm ready to do it. I ask to see the results of a STD test. People has laughed at me and think I'm crazy or over reacting.
Don't feel embarrassed for being SAFE. Making love is something amazing that needs to be done the right way, emotionally and physically prepared. When you do it the right way you enjoy it 10 times more!
By Sertur, Michigan, United States
It can certainly be agreed that almost everyone looking for love has passionate physical attraction listed as their number one must haves. I too have attraction as my number one, however I believe it is vital to be true to yourself and not allow that attraction to over ride your commitment to fall in love. Attraction is the best of both evils in that we long for it and when it happens we almost instantaneously want to succumb to the "Heat of the Moment". This is: In almost every case the" kiss of death" in what could have been the ONE. Why???? We have to ask ourselves How much time did we allow to really get to know this person before we gave the only one true passion away that we posses, ourselves. My advise is to wait and allow your passion to build while learning more about one another. Only when you both have agreed to a committed relationship with one another should you succumb to the shared passion for one another. Should that passion still exist after following this advise. I believe you will have found the love of your life! p.s. always use a condom!
By Gr8fulluv, Oklahoma, United States
It is your responsibility to practice safe sex and make sure you and your partner (s) are clean. Don't just ask about sexual health, you and your partner should be tested, preferably together, and regularly. If you're tested separately results can easily be verified by printing them out at your doctor's office or emailing them securely. Also women should get a pap smear with any new partners since there is no tests for HPV in men. Always ask and always get results! Everyone should be open to disclose history or risks.
By Lovely_Marie12, California, United States
Do not have sex with him on the first date. In fact, don't have sex with him until YOU are ready. During the heat of the moment, men will say things to get sex that they believe are true at the time, but later when their head clears they often feel completely different.
The most important secret that a woman needs to know is that when you have sex with a man on the first date it establishes doubt in a man's mind about your ability to be faithful. It also does nothing to establish any respect. If you resist him, he will respect you for it. The more you resist him the more he will respect you. If he is truly interested in you he will want you more and he will wait patiently until you are ready. If he doesn't wait he was not very interested in you, therefore he's not worth your time.
If you want to have the BEST lovemaking experience of your life, become best friends FIRST and then make love. I assure you, it is worth the wait!
By 2souls, Florida, United States
My advice is please never feel pressured to have sexual relations with your mate before you truly feel you are ready. If someone you are dating is pressuring you into having sex before you are ready then they are most likely not the person for you.
By LagunaRomance, California, United States
Physical attraction can lead to sex. Always be prepared. Don't assume the man is responsible for providing protection. Women should be prepared as well. Never leave your own sexual safety up to someone else.
By BlueEyesCT, Connecticut, United States
Teens are often warned and taught about STDs, but more mature adults often think they are safe from them, thinking that "people our age" don't tend to have so many partners, so our chances of getting something are much lower. The fact is that many people can have certain diseases for decades and never even know it! Either go together for current testing before getting intimate, or insist on protection even if they look "squeaky clean" or claim they are STD-free. It's not worth the risk, and it's an irreversible decision and consequence.
By NoPlayersPls, FL, United States
Always ensure that your sexual health screenings are up to date. Many countries offer free sexual health clinics, where you can be seen to acquire cheaper condoms, lubricant, and other necessary items, as well as addressing any sexual health questions or concerns.
By ZeldaGerudo, Wellington, Wellington, New Zealand
If someone continuously pushes you to sleep with them right away within the first few conversations, this could be a warning sign. If you decide to meet with someone who does that, and you deny them, be prepared for the "rumors" they may create. The "Yeah..he/she was the worst lay I've ever had"...even though you didn't sleep with them. They will spread this around to everyone you and they know. Now, not all people are like that...but there are a few. Use your common sense and try not to put yourself into that position. Trust me, it's not a fun one to try and escape from.
By Amandafeye, Georgia, United States
Apparently, these are the perennial questions about sex especially for women: "if we have sex, will he call," and for men, "when will she be ready." When a little suspicious of such glib formulations, just nod to the spirit of the clichȦs. Sex is messy and complex, and never more so than when it is with a new person. It is important, very important, to have sex at just the right time in a relationship.
Do it for you
Have sex because you want to, not because you feel pressured or think the other person will disappear if you don't. A person like that is not looking for a serious relationship in the first place and you are just another receptacle for him/her. Do it when it feels right and do it for you.
Better late and more
Whether you are a man or a woman, it is always better to get physical later, rather than sooner in a relationship. Why? Because you will get to know the other person better and be in a better position to decide if you really do want to sleep with him or her. Margaret Paul, Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You? says, "[People try] to get the intimate connection through sex, but great sex is an outgrowth of intimacy, not a cause of it. ... Physical attraction is never enough to see people through the inevitable conflicts that come up in primary relationships."
Focus on the relationship
As important and fun as sex is, if it is a relationship you want, then pay attention to nurturing that. Get to know the other person better and let them know things about you. If you ask yourself, "Do I trust this person?" you should be able to say, "Yes" with no doubts. This is the way to feel more comfortable around him or her, and that is a prerequisite for good sex. The physical attraction will only become stronger and more deeply grounded.
Is what you have enough?
Look at how much physical closeness you already have. Do you hold hands? Do you have trouble keeping your hands off each other? Is there a spark between you? When you kiss, do you want more? What does the person's kissing style suggest to you about their bedroom style? What do you have besides chemistry? In the answers to these questions, you will find if it is the right time, or even if it is actually what you want.
Get the time right, literally
Whether it is spontaneous or planned, make sure your first time together is relaxed and private. You don't have to have scented candles and satin sheets, but the backseat of the car in a parking lot or alleyway might not be the best place. Always be responsible; use a condom.
Be prepared for after
If you do have sex, there will be an after Ƀ whether the morning after or the munchies after. Treat what happened with respect, but not absurd devotion or gratitude. Conversation will ease any tension that either of you may feel. You can even make a few jokes, just nothing that your partner might construe as meanness. Just so you know, the first time may be lousy or amazing, but it isn't always an indicator of things to come. Sometimes people stop trying to impress their partner and become selfish and other times, greater understanding and emotional closeness makes for quantum leaps in the quality of sex.
In this time and age of instant gratification, sex has become an important parameter to judge relationships, but make sure this does not pressure you into doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.
By TheLoveGuru1962, British Columbia, Canada
Sex can be a great thing but it can also be an unpleasant if we do notknow how towait for the right moment and even more important for the right person.
Right moment- Giver her time to get to know you and trust you. Thatallows her togive herself to you with no limitations.Right person- A woman that seems more interested in your personallife, hobbies, andfamily rather than in your job and income. Looks are important but asmuch as a kindsoul.
Right moment- Do not use sex as a weapon to get what you want or control him butinstead look at it as a tool to get closer to him.Right person- A guy that can listen to you, that makes you smile, theone that tellsyou how funny, smart and beautiful you are. That sees you as a friendand a lovernot as in his sex bunny.
When the right moment and the right person comes you will know it andall this willbe forgotten, your heart will be the one making all the decisions.Good luck!
By Velvet_Moon, New Jersey, United States