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1. It's all about HIM
2. He doesn't ask about you or doesn't seem genuinely interested
3. There's always another woman in the wings
4. Inconsistent, unpredictable, unreliable
5. Says one thing and does another
6. Has a history of short relationships with a lot of women
7. Changes plans and times, cancels dates
8. Often late
9. Tells you all the ways he is special?
10. Superficial values based on appearances
Glad to know that you are starting to open yourself up to dating again. But use common sense along with safety.
1. On the internet look out for people only interested in sex, most likely that's what they were doing before the internet and you want to live, not die of HIV!
2. Don't be quick to meet someone in weird spots, go to a public place, like Borders or an outdoor restaurant.
3. Everyone has had past issues, so don't judge anyone, if it's not your style, move on!
4. You are single and so are a million other people so if you are damaged goods and looking for a new love, know that someone else is looking for a new love too.
5. Throw away your "luggage" and "baggage" of past relationships.
6. If you need to talk about your "EX" go to a therapist or go out with friends who love to listen.
7. Get to know your date, smile and be happy, your issues has nothing to do with your date, and get to know each other not what you want.
8. Don't make demands,that is why you are single, too picky. You might find out you like new things.
9. Everything on your agenda is not on the other's individual agenda so plan something together!
10. Be kind, nice, honest and supportive, but not stupid. Don't expect anything,your date doesn't owe you anything.
11. If you didn't do something before, don't knock it until tried it, and if you are extra experienced or they are, don't try to play catch up in one date.
12. You can't tell your whole life in one day or one evening or one phone call, breathe, take it easy, and be natural, time is a must.
13. Safety: it's ok to want a new life with someone, but don't open the door to your life to find yourself holding the door open to let them out.
14. Commonsense: Everybody is great at something. Everyone is not good at some things so find something you both don't know and be spontaneous.
15. The best tip of all is be honest with yourself, are you really ready for this or just want a fling. When you make decisions know: Be aware of the "CHOICE" you make, the "CHOICE" you made, Will begin to take "COURSE", and once it takes "COURSE", The outcome will be "consequences" because of your original choice.
16. If it's all about you, then take yourself out, and talk to yourself (get the picture).
17. Misery loves company but so does happiness, so stay strong and mindful in any situation
18. Adjust to your surroundings, don't transform.
19. Like yourself and who you're with. Even if the date isn't what you wanted it to be. Still have a good time.
20. Hygiene is most important, show up looking and "Smelling" Great. Now smile, and relax. Whatever the situation or outcome you'll feel even better once you go out with them the second time.
By heavenstreasure, Bronx, NY, United State
Don't be embarrassed to admit that you have a trusted friend or family member that knows where you are, and a little about what you're doing. It's okay to be cautious, and take care of yourself. I always have a friend that calls me once or twice, and I send a picture to let her know I'm fine.
By run4life, Texas, United States
Going out and meeting single can be a lot of fun, but not everyone is as secure and reliable as you are. When going out with a group of friends be careful of who you talk to and of what you drink especially. Know your limits and never trust anyone to get your drink for you, since date rape is a common problem today. To avoid these issues assign a friend to keep an eye out for the whole group and not just any friend a sober friend. When it comes to dating or first time engaging in sexual activities with someone make sure the boundaries are clear and make sure you use safe sex to avoid any personal health issues in the future. But other than that have fun and safe dating.
By lipsmakrz, Van Nuys, California, United States
Okay girls! Let's be honest! Here in the crazy world, the party can be wicked! Unfortunately so can some of the men! While you keep your eye on that hottie in the PVC pants somebody might be stalking you in turn. Even when you're going out on a date with somebody that you think is okay I must press this advice into you..."Watch your drink at all times!" I had an experience where somebody slipped me some liquid inhibition releaser and whoa! I woke up with somebody...But not the guy I went to the Mosh Pit with! I used to have a habit of leaving my drink unattended but believe me that is no more! I'm not only talking about bars or restaurants but you really never know hen a creep is going to strike! I was on a date with another man and yet I was still targeted! Keep your eyes on your drink and if you forget and have left it alone, throw it out! It is much better to be safe than painfully sorry! Cheers!
By XPureXPoisonX, Alberta, Canada
Ladies, no matter how much these men say that they make and no matter what they say they can do for you, DO NOT invite them to your house or go to their house until you feel comfortable with them. Remember this is a dating site some people get on here an lie and some are really looking for LOVE! As for me I am looking and praying for my BOAZ! Everyone please be safe!
By sexyslim74, Georgia, United States
It seems like common sense, but don't get caught up in the excitement of the moment when going on that first date and leave your "brain cells" behind.
First, tell family and friends you're going on a date with someone new.Tell them who you are going with and where you are planning on going and what time you expect to be back. Make sure they have your contact information, too, and if possible the contact information for your date.
Second, if when you meet up and it doesn't feel right, it's okay to cancel right then and there! When in doubt DON'T. It's easier to not go through with it then to try and get yourself out of a bad situation. Trust your instincts and first impressions.
Third, have a great time! But remember, saftey first!
By Nanette69 ,California, United States
You and the special person who you have just met after exchanging messages and photos. Finally, you have discovered that you really are even more compatible than you both seemed from your profiles. Now, imagine things are going swimmingly, neither of you have thought other than each other as you are walking back to the car from a wonderful evening. Suddenly, without warning, sinister figures begin running toward you from out of the darkness; obviously intending to do you harm! You both manage to slip into the darkness and hide, but no one else is nearby and you will not be able to out run your assailants and you know that they will soon find you. What to do?
You could scream and yell for help, but the only people near enough to hear are far across the parking area...too far to respond in time to do much to help before the robbers would find you, assault you, and be gone.
Looking for some weapon for self defense(always a poor choice in such circumstances), you decide to toss them your wallet and run, thinking to use your keys when you are caught, with the hope that you will be nearer to help. Besides, there is always the chance that they will give up when you resist. Then you feel the sending unit for activating your car alarm.
You can push the "panic button" that sounds the vehicle alarm, flashes its lights, and maybe even starts the engine. The commotion might not bring the "cavalry" any more quickly than screaming, but it also won't lead anyone to your person. The flashing lights and alarm will attract some attention which is the last thing thieves want. You might even have a better chance to make a successful break with the criminals distracted, even momentarily.
Many dates require travel by auto at night. Often, one is forced to park in a lot or garage with limited security and at some distance from the event. In populated urban areas, criminals prey on couples leaving or returning to their vehicle. It's a common practice for carjacking and armed robbery.
So be sure to give yourself the advantage by taking your vehicle alarm with you and have your keys in your hand before leaving to go to your car. Also, if you ever are in a situation where yelling seems prudent, yelling the word "FIRE!" adds motivation to any responder because they will have more of a stake in the outcome.
Contribute by Feknee, Virginia, United States.
If you decide to physically meet someone you've been in contact with online, especially for the 1st time, here are some cell phone setting tips for added safety. If capable, set a shortcut key to dial 911. Turn off the sound on your phone so that when turning it on & off it is silent. This way if you need to use your phone in an emergency you can do it discreetly.
By Wisdom37, Colorado Springs, Colorado, United States
You've taken your time and gave it the great gun-ho attitude to meet someone at PS.com. Sure there are some people who peak your interest and then some that don't. Thing is you happened to meet someone (on another non-STD site) or maybe just somewhere out and about. You struck up a conversation and things have progressed to the point that you think you want to move forward with "The Talk". It's been a couple of dates and you really are digging this person, so you decide tonight is the night.
Make sure you don't go to far in 'dating' and forget that the other person has a right to know, as soon as possible and has feelings to be considered. If the relationship is strong and the person feels they can handle the exposure (or perhaps they even have experience or have been exposed to an STD) they be receptive to hearing you out and the possibility of engaging further in the relationship.
However, remember they may choose not to continue the relationship and this IS NOT A DIRECT REFLECTION OF YOU. You MUST KNOW THIS: The basis of any relationship begins with SELF LOVE. That means if you love yourself in lieu of dealing with, having and living with an STD, then you will attract that kind of love from someone like minded, regardless if they have an STD or not and the possibilities are limitless.
In the same breath you have to give others the space to love themselves and sometimes that won't include you. Just be safe, honest and truthful to yourself and above all LOVE YOUR SELF.
By Simply_Real, Colorado, United States
By sirdancer, Adelaide, Australia.
Tell your family and friends your date details - Safety First!
People should be very careful when meeting others offline, especially women. First, don't be too anxious when trying to meet that special someone for the first time. Take time to try to get to know the individual very well, even though he may seem to be sweet and charming. When you do decide the time is right to meet, make sure your first couple of meetings are in a well-known and populated public place. Also let a friend of family member know where you are going to be and what time they should expect to hear back from you. I know being alone can be frustrating at times, but being safe when we are anxious and excited to meet that special someone is important. So have fun, and good luck on all your relationships, but remember your safety should come first.
By cougar25hunter, South Carolina, United States
Make sure :
1. You're in a well lit area.
2. Do not over indulge in alcohol or drugs.
3. Carry mace or pepper spray.
4. Carry a "screaming"/dye device.
5.Do not openly flaunt a wad of cash etc..
6. Know self defense techniques.
7. Never leave your drink unattended with your date.
8. Always have access to a phone.
9. Always carry cab/bus fare.
10. Don't give out or bring date to your address alone.
By loveybunnyboo, Arkanas, Unites States.
Always be smart and safe about dating especially in the beginning. I know people love tradition, but I recommend meeting up in a public place instead of having your date pick you up. If you have your date pick you up from your home, you've just left yourself wide open for a potential disaster. They now know where you live. And even more important is that you are alone with them in a car and at their mercy. You simply can't afford to give a stranger those kinds of advantages. There are crazy people in the world. And yes, this includes rich or wealthy people. There's too much madness in the world to be thoughtless about these things. Don't get chopped-up, raped, kidnapped or beaten. Be smart:
*Meet in public places at first. Use your own method of transportation.
*Let someone know the details of your date, such as location, date, time and etc.
*Don't be coaxed into anything you're unsure of. For instance, it's pretty risky to go to someones home with them before you've gotten to know one another.
*Don't ignore those red flags! Our gut feelings know what they're talking about. It has to do with some lingering primitive instincts and it's complicated, but listen to yourself!
All that aside, have fun! If it's not fun, make it fun somehow. Be creative. That first meeting is not only the most important, but also the most delicate. So it may take some work sometimes.
By GeekLover35, Florida , United States
Don't go home with your catch on a first date, cause you don't know the catch well. You might be rapped or forced to do what you don't want.
Always say no to anyone inviting you to the house on your first date and hangout in an open place such as beach, park or restaurant.
By misskathina, Brockville, Ontario, Canada
Of course when you connect with someone and meet the first few times, many of us want to spend as much time as possible getting to know that person. In many instances we make the mistake of inviting that person/excepting an invite to the home of the other person without knowing their last names or informing a third party of our whereabouts. This could impose a problem if something were to happen to you, as none would have any idea of where to look first. This situation is not just for women but men as well because the young lady that you do not know that well could very well set you up in a not so nice situation. Be responsible, cautious and enjoy the ride.
By ImperfectBeauty, United States
When you go for your dates, always be sure to order your own drink or take them from the waitress. If a guy says "have a seat, I'll get us some drinks", it is likely a gentlemen but not always he could be adding a little extra something to make it easier to get you in to bed. Just say "sounds good, I'll help you". Always keep a close eye. You never know when you use the restroom or go to check your powder or lipstick inbetween drinks.
By kay82925, CA, United States
Don't provide your personal information too soon (phone #, full name,email address).
Your home phone number and full name provide easy ways to track who you are and where you live. Armed with just your home phone number, a person can easily gain access to your income information, home address, and even learn the value of your home. Armed with your first and last name, a person can do searches to determine quite a bit of information on you - where you work, what you do, and even what your home phone number is. So in the initial stages of communication, guard your personal information. Your information can sometimes be tracked by your regular email address.
When meeting your date for the first time here are some considerations to ensure your safety.
Drink clear colored drinks to help ensure your safety. You should select the location to ensure your date doesn't have friends working the bar/restaurante. If you can, get there early or order your drink prior to approaching your date.
Order a light colored drink-water, club soda, white wine, vodka etc, drinks that aren't sweet or mixed with sweet mixes are harder to hide the flavor of a drug.
Don't let your drink out of your sight and take it with you to the restroom if needed. If your date orders a bottle of wine, make sure your waiter opens the bottle infront of you and your date tastes his wine first.
I have also introduced myself to the waiter or bartender and that this is a first date. This usually gives the server the heads up if you suddenly begin to act intoxicated in a rapid fashion, they can step in an order you a cab. You can also tip the server prior to your date showing up to ensure they keep your safety on their radar.
By 1017atl, Georgia, United States
After engaging in conversation for a period of time online; you start to get to know a person and they open up to you. They tell you amazing things that make you feel comfortable, safe and perhaps you let your guard down some.
Regardless of who it is; when you meet them for the first time, it's important to be safe. I have created a buddy system that works well.
1. Choose a close family member or best friend that lives local- who you are comfortable telling them about who you are dating.
2. Before every date, screenshot them your date's picture and include his name, social medias, his number and the address you are meeting.
3. Then text them a picture of you dressed for the date. (Therefore if something happens they can better describe your appearance that night to the police).
4. Also create a code system for texting. And be sure to create a discrete code for "help I'm in danger".
5. Lastly check in with your buddy via text message throughout the night or right after the date so they know you are safe.
6. And mostly importantly- don't give out too much personal information about yourself on the first date. Your date doesn't need to know where exactly you leave, if you live in the city alone, your daily routine, work address etc.
Dating is fun and supposed to be fun. But adding an extra layer of safety; makes the date more enjoyable!
By msprettyinpink, California, United States
Prior to the first date, I give a relative all my date's info (how I contact them, a picture (if available), email address, everything). When I am going out on a first date, and riding in my date's car (which is rarely), I make sure I touch things in their car (the window, dash board/console) without being noticeable. Also when I come back from a date, I always text someone and let them know I'm in. Then there are a series of questions that they send me that only I and they know (friends birthdays, nickname, intimate stuff). If one answer is wrong, they know something is not right.
By afutko, Newark, New Jersey, United States
1. A good idea for a first date is to meet at a public place. Arrive alone and leave alone.
2. Keep it short and sweet. If there are no signs of a red flag, have a second date.
3. Meet up somewhere in public and extend the time that both of you are comfortable with.
4. It's o.k. to have one drink, do not look like a lush. Drinking too much will also make you more vulnerable.
5. Stay alert. Be aware of your surroundings.
6. Try to look your best but not overly made up. Be clean and neat.
I have been on dates where the guy shows up with food in his teeth, greasy hair, and sloppy clothes that looks like they were slept in. They wonder why they can't get dates.
By Ready4Luv2, Illinois, United States