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There are many people out there with some serious skeletons in their closet, and not the rattling bones kind. I'm wanting to stress the importance of getting a background check done on whomever you are seeing, male or female. You never know when your neurotic partner may have some serious problem they aren't telling you about, i.e. assault charges, drug charges, sex charges, etc. It's important you get the truth on who you are seeing so that your safety and the safety of your kids (if you have some) is kept and you maintain control of any situation before it gets out of hand.
Remember, trust your instincts, if it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, smells like fish, it's not chicken; and find out why it's not chicken.
By twizzler, Texas, United States
It's always good to conduct a background check before you take a relationship any further. This is to make sure that you aren't dating violent criminals, drug dealers, or child predators. Visit the Highway Patrol Website in your home state for this list. When in doubt, check them out.
By noel198326, Missouri, United States
I am a private detective. I have been hired by people who believed they were being scammed by people on dating sites - they were - and I am also a user of dating sites.
Naturally, I don't go near a real live date unless I verify for myself that the man is A) Real, and B) who he says he is.
But, most people don't have my skills or access to databases. Fortunately, there is a lot you can do yourself and for free here in the US.
First, people have to stop being intimidated by asking for the person's last name. I don't know when this became considered as rude, it's not. It's the opposite of rude. It is the number one answer every woman must get from a man before she goes on a date with him. Or, don't go.
Also, the subject has already told you where he lives....generally as in "I'm from / live in Blah Town" Luckily for us here here, all of our property records are online. Go to the county tax assessor website and run his name. If he owns a house, he'll be there. Remember, the county lists the legal owners of a property. So, if he's married, or even just owns the house with a girlfriend, it will be on the documents.
If he rents, obviously, that's a different story, however, you do can a lot with a real name.
There are a vast number of free people search databases, not those paid ones, that you can run him through; from simple verification to business verification. Once you have his business ID'd you can make a pretext phone call to verify his employment.
Photos. There are several reverse photo identification websites. A lot of people use their work photo on these dating sites. You can get a hit on their employment via their photo. There is also very factual metadata in photos that free sites can pull out, e.g. dates. If someone says this is a current picture, but the meta data says it was taken 10 years ago....another lie.
The point is, these sites are full of predators who are first looking for easy marks to con out of money. This is common. It's a job for them. I'm happy to say that I've ended several con jobs because some women smartened up and begin to feel that something was off a little and reached out to me. Then there are predators who want to hurt women.
If a woman can verify that the person is real and is not lying to her, then she has increased her physical safety on a date, and, she can use the information - that he's telling her the truth about himself - to evaluate him as a trustworthy person on a human level and thus maybe want to date him more. We have to be able to verify that we are going out on a date with a man who is what he says he is.
If these easy tools aren't enough, hire someone like myself who can do genuine due diligence on a person complete with criminal and financial history. Phone numbers are as unique now as social security numbers and we can reverse run a phone number to get a subscriber name. A small amount of prevention goes so very far in keeping us physically and emotionally safe from predators.
Have you ever received an e-mail or been favored by what appears to be the man of your dreams only to have him disappear? Don't take it too hard.
Stick with the verified profiles with photos, education, job, age and income (if you're lucky enough to catch their attention). If you must stray from verified, protect yourself by only meeting in a public place and exchange numbers.
Don't just hand your number to someone you don't know. Many times when they call, they black their number; it's not only unfair, it's a red flag! What is he (or she) hiding? Get their first, middle and last name then you have two options.
A reverse number check or a background check by name. If you google the full name and city, you will receive an option to do background search. Looking at a name, age and city match is free. These companies do charge a nominal fee for more information, like; previous addresses; criminal records; and bankruptcy. Reverse number searches won't give any info for free, but both types of searches offer very reasonable membership rates. If you are going to continue to date via the Internet, it's well worth the cost!!
By Sparkzz, Ohio, United States
Be cautious of posting pictures of yourself in front of your home that display your home address. All it takes is for someone to google your address and they can pull up your information.
By Creole_Cutie, Mississippi, United States
As we grow closer in a relationship hopefully we are building trust as well. but unfortunately there are people out there who have a criminal history that you need to know about. I check out everyone that I date not because I don't trust them, but because I value my family & my physical, emotional & financial safety. All you need to do is go to the criminal clerk's section at your local courthouse. Tell them the person's name & they will look it up & give you any files related to that person's criminal history for you to look at in a special room. Some counties this is done online, where you look up the person on a database and then request any relevant files from the clerk the same way. Either way, this is all a matter of public record. If they have a criminal history in that county, you will know now, & are one step closer to either trust , or a break.
By Curiosita, California, United States.
Although many people are completely real and above board we live in an age where many people start with and upload pictures of other people and use them on their online profile(s). We naturally want to believe (and without knowing it) we often assume that the picture on the page that we are looking at is the actual person who created the profile, this is of course not always true. Some people that do this are trying to shield their identity for privacy purposes and do look more or less like the person in the picture(s). Others are catfish bearing no true likeness to the image(s) they have selected for their profile.
So what do can we do about it, there are several things (if not more) that we can and should perhaps do? We can ask the person to verify their picture for instance. At the time of this writing the second to the bottom "wink" option reads: I'd like to get to know you better! Could you please verify your photo? If they have already verified their photo then you are more or less ahead of the game because that's much harder to fake. Another option is to perform an Image Search online.
This is fairly easily done and I have outlined the steps for you as follows:
First click on the desired image to make it larger. Next put your cursor on the border of the image and not yet on the actual image. Then press and hold the left click of your mouse and then just drag the cursor across your image. You will notice that it will become covered in blue highlighting. Once it is (you may need to practice several times to get a feel for it) simply touch and hold your Ctrl button of your keyboard (located in the far left on the very bottom) and just press the c (for copy) button of your keyboard.
Next begin addressing an email to yourself (this also gives you another record of it
that is easy to locate) and with the cursor on the body of the email simply press
and hold down your Ctrl key and press your the v key (v is for paste who knew, at
least it's right next to the c key). Now you should see the image in body of your
Simply send the email to yourself and open it up. Once you have it open you have the choice to either click on the arrow that you will see at the very bottom right hand corner of the image or right click on the image and you will see the option to save as. Select save as (you might as well give it an easy to remember name such as the person's profile name or whatever you want to) and hit the save button on the
Now that you image has been stored on the hard drive of your computer simple open up a new google tab and do a search in google for the the word "image" or the words "google images". You will see Google's image search link. Click on that and you will now see a google page that is almost totally normal looking with one exception. There is a little camera icon underneath the search portion located just to the left. Click on the camera icon and you will now see two options. Simply click on the one that says Upload an image.
Now click on the button that says Choose File and your computers images should appear in a moment or so (you may also begin to notice your hard drive spinning unless you have an SSD). Once your computers download window opens up you can scroll through your pictures to find the one that you are looking for or just type in the search bar for the name(s) or number(s)) that you used to save it (unless the name was created automatically, in any case you can do a search for it).
Once your image has been selected click on the open button at the right bottom of your computer's screen. Now your image will be uploaded into the google's image search and you can simply wait a moment for the magic to happen!
You will now be able to read and go through the search results for your image. Sometimes there is nothing to find and that's normally a good sign (even though of course it doesn't guarantee anything). Or you may discover a "new to you" celebrity (internet or normal) or you may have discovered a "new to you" model or an image from an image database.
Whatever you discover and whatever you find please remember to be kind and refrain
from saying getting upset or saying anything too unpleasant to your new prospective
partner. The best options are to dismiss it or move on or to ask them about it when
the time is right.
Here are a few comments in closing:
With a little practice saving pictures and doing searches will become easier and perhaps almost second nature to you.
There are other ways do save pictures and to do image searches, these are fairly easy and designed for this Website and also for people with PC Computers. your results can very and other Computers and Websites can be a little bit different to work with.
Rarely does a celebrity create an online dating profile but of course it can occur from time to time. If that what you find you may want to cross reference their age, height, location, sign and any information that you would like to.
Try not to base too much of your on any one fact that you find or don't find, sometimes the person is really who they say they are of course.
If you would like to you can search for alternate ways of doing any of this if you are inclined or you should the need arise (I don not work for google in any way and you may use another search engine if you wish too by all means).
This information is only meant to you help in possibly a small way on your journey to your lasting joy, love, use of this site and to your overall satisfaction!
I hope this information has assisted you in some way great or small!
As your conversation progresses, look for inconsistencies in their story. The longer one lies, the more likely one is to trip up and forget all the details of every lie they told. However, as you are taking in their story, you are mentally painting a picture. If they say they did something one day and then a few days later say they've never done the same thing, RED FLAG. Also keep in mind that if you DO catch them in a lie, chances are good that there are a lot more lies you didn't catch.--- Now........ here's a caveat to this Red Flag. Some people don't like to let virtual strangers know their lives right off the bat, which I understand. It's all about how they handle this that warrants studying. They can either be honest up front and tell you "baby steps", or they can lie creating a false life. The first is ok, the latter not so much. Once trust is lost, it is VERY difficult to get back. You need to ask yourself "why are they lying? What are they hiding?" A spouse? A "player" lifestyle? Worse? -- Yes, I've heard from women telling me that they were contacted by convicted felons with seriously scary offenses under their belts.
Go in with both eyes open, both ears alert. Trust your gut. If something doesn't seem right, ask them about it. Their reaction more than likely will tell you if they're real or not.
By Katkool,New York, United States
You don't have to be famous to be on Google these days. If you have any social media account chances are you are "Googleable". If you have a phone... you are Googleable. Have been divorced? Googleable. That said... if someone you're talking to is completely off the grid and there is NO trace of them, chances are they are using a fake name and identity. I'll go one step further and give you a personal experience: This woman said she lived in NYC. When we started talking she had apparently moved to Barcelona and had been in NYC working for her company. She had no Google footprint. I asked about her company. No Google footprint for them either. A few weeks later, POOF, she sends me a link to a website for her company with her listed as an engineer. Her ex husband, supposedly a race car driver - no Google footprint. The story gets weirder, but to cut a long story short she hadcreated the work website to "sell" me on her identity. The company never existed. To this day I have no idea who she really is or what her story and ultimate goal was. There were so many red flags and lies that I caught her in that I EVENTUALLY made the right decision of cutting ties.
By Katkool,New York, United States
Before meeting someone in person exchange personal email addresses and telephone numbers. Verify these are actual addresses/phone numbers. After obtaining that information tell a close friend/family member where they could find that information if necessary. This will provide a "paper trail" in case of an emergency. Legitimate dates will give this information if they're serious about you anyway.
By Brad49, Florida, United States