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10 ways to keep up the momentum of your relationship.
1. Time: If you don't have time for your partner there is no point of
even being in a relationship. It's a proven fact that long most long
distance relationships don't work out in the long run.
2. Commitment: If your not committed to you partner this shows the lack of interest. Everyone hates a cheater so try to be as faithful and honest as possible.
3. Compromise: Being able to compromise in a relationship is great because then both partners have equal input and in the future this will prevent a discussion of the lack of equality between one another.
4. Communication: This is the main attribute if your looking for a ideal relationship. Without communication this will lead to false interpretations of both partners.
5. Listening: Ladies tend to say that men do not listen and they just hear what they want to hear.
6. Sex: Having sexual activities tend to keep the relationship more interesting and it gives both partners the ability to relieve some stress.
7. Sharing: Believe it or not sharing with one another will. strengthen a relationship and it will give you a idea if you will be able to live with one another in the future.
8. Compatibility: Both partners need to be compatible; yes there will be times where it seems like your in the wrong relationship but sometimes the total opposite can attract. It is all up to your personality.
9. Romance/romantic: Ladies love when a man could treat them out the blue and not just when it's your anniversary, or birthday. Surprising your lady or man will majority of the time put a smile on their face.
10. Compliments: Sometimes it is helpful to compliment your partner so that they could feel special and they will know that your still interested not only personality wise but also physically. There needs to be interest in both aspects and everyone has their own tastes.
By HighStatusEnt, Ontario, Canada
1.Leaving the radio off because every song makes you cry
2.Loss of appetite
3.Binge eating for comfort
4.Calling your ex several times a day
5.Text messaging and emailing constantly
6.Constantly checking your email and voice mail to see if he/she called
7.Not going out because you are afraid to miss a call
8.Thinking non-stop about why he REALLY left you
9.Feeling massively depressed
10.Feeling urges to spy on him
11.Endlessly rehearsing what you should have said
12.Endlessly rehearsing what you will say if you bump into him
By taciturntear Alberta,Canada
The dating process actually starts with the wink, or email communication. This is the "getting their attention phase". Winks are great, they start the conversation, show interest, and are low pressure. You can basically consider "wink"as flirting. Writing an email is even better. It gives you the opportunity to flirt and engage. A nicely written email will most likely generate a response while a wink might only generate a smile. Send a wink, that is why they are there, but follow up with an email too.
One of three things will happen next, no response, you will get a thank you but not interested, or you will get a wink or an email back. You have "engaged". If you wrote an email that showed your sense of humor, was more than just a couple of sentences long, said a little about yourself, and asked a question or two, you more than likely will get a positive response.
1. We are getting closer to the date
Once you get a response you have engaged the person and are in the "testing the waters" phase. You want to see if you really want to get to know this person or not. You don't need to email back and forth forever. Just a few meaningful emails should be enough. Note the word "meaningful". Emails are not text messages or tweets. You are not limited to a tiny amount of words. The purpose of the initial emails should be to verify if you were right about wanting to get to know this person. To do this you need to express yourself. You are expressing who you are through words. And the reader is viewing you through what you write. Put some effort into it. If after a few emails you have determined that you do want to get to know this person you can move on to the next step.
2. Almost there
You are now in the "conversation compatibility" phase. The phone call is very important. It is more intimate and revealing than emails. When the time to make the phone call comes, don't jump to fast forward and make a date. Use the phone to continue to get to know the person and see if your personalities are compatible. Show your personality honestly and let the other person show theirs. Give yourself some time to actually get to know the person a bit. If you give yourself some time to explore if you can enjoy conversation with this person you are guaranteeing good conversation on your first date. Maybe there won't be chemistry but at least you will have enjoyed a good conversation and perhaps even start a good friendship. Remember, you shouldn't be making too many phone calls, just enough to determine you can get along and have an enjoyable conversation. Two good telephone conversations should be enough.
3. Wait for it, wait for it
Yes! The time has come for the first date. This bit of advice is crucial: don't use the first date as a pre-date interview. The first date is not an opportunity for you to "see" the person and then figure out if you want to go on a "real" date. Pre-dates make you come off as stingy, judgmental, arrogant, and even a bit insecure. People with confidence can enjoy the moment for what it is. And it is a real date so plan a real date. There is nothing so offensive as being asked out on a pre-date in order to be checked out to see if you qualify for a real date. If you did all your homework, the first date should be the real date. Pre-dates are a waste of time for both of you and only mean you haven't done all your homework. Don't be stingy with having a real date.
You can enjoy something mutual with aperson you haven't met. If you have invested time with the other steps and been honest you know what you both enjoy and perhaps you can enjoy doing it together. The first date should be something you both enjoy doing. It can be going to an arts or craft fair, it can be going to a sports event, going bike riding, picking strawberries, going to dinner, whatever you both like to do. If you are both enjoy the venue and you already know you enjoy conversation with this person the date is sure to be enjoyable too. Of course you are looking for chemistry and this may or may not happen, but in the meantime the date will still be enjoyable. That is what dating should be enjoyable; not an interview!
By prismclover, Florida, United States
GO TO A BAR SOLOVery few women have tried doing this. As scary as it sounds, going to a bar solo isn't so bad, if you don't pick a bad neighborhood. Here is what you do: Find a bar that you have frequented with your friends before, preferably a bar where you kind of know the bartender. That way, you won't awkwardly sit around.
TAKE A MOMENT TO FACE THE CROWDNow that you are hanging out at the bar by yourself, you can take this opportunity to try to figure out what your type is (if you don't already know it). Once you have decided what you are looking for, survey the crowd. Face outward and just take a good look. See someone you may like. Smile at him. If he is single and you are his type, he will walk over.
DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLYIf he doesn't walk over, don't take it personally. He is probably taken or you are just not his type. And, that's okay. Just think of it this way: Not every man at that bar is your type, right? It has nothing to do with you, you just need to keep looking.
DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK QUESTIONSIf the guy you smiled at walks over, game is on! Now you can start a friendly chat, and that is just the trick: Keep it friendly, no pressure, just enjoy it. Odds are he will lead the conversation. After all, he is the one who walked over. Take his lead and add your own to it whatever the subject may be. Let your personality shine through. Hopefully, you will like each other's company and continue talking.
EXPECT REJECTION AND INDIFFERENCEIf he goes for it, takes your digits and calls, That's great! If he doesn't, it's okay, please expect that rejection could happen. This is not to say that it will probably occur though. It's just good to be prepared for men being indifferent. Some men just aren't looking to date for one reason or another. Again, don't take it personally. It has nothing to do with you. You are still awesome, and if the guy in question doesn't realize that, then he is not the one for you.
By houseofmanna, London, England, United Kingdom
There are five primary areas that you should explore in order to assess your present state of readiness:
1. Past traumas
4. Past Relationships
5. Future Expectations
Take an inventory of past traumas and related major issues. Mentally review past traumas and look at how well you have addressed and resolved them. As you work through each, ask yourself, "Is this impacting me negatively in my present life? Can this issue become a problem in my relationships?
How is your self-awareness? Do you have a positive sense of self? If not, an intimate relationship will be difficult or impossible to sustain. For instance, do you know yourself well enough to answer the following?
- Can you state your most deeply held values?
- Do you know what you can't live with or without in a relationship?
- Do you have a good grasp of your life goals?
- Do you know your own strengths and weaknesses?
How is your self-esteem? Self-love is at the foundation of all healthy relationships. How do you see yourself? Would you want to be in a relationship with you?
Are your past relationships really in the past? If we don't get adequate closure on painful experiences/issues from past relationships, we are at risk of bringing them into present and future relationships in order to relive and resolve them.
Do you know what you want from a relationship? We enter into relationships for many different reasons and with many different expectations. Knowing what yours are will help you to determine if this is the right relationship for you.
By XSsiveRedhead, California, United States
To begin with, as obvious as it should be, reading a person's FULL profile is of the utmost importance. Specifically, what they are looking for and any section where they write something personally. This will tell you a great deal about them. Read it, understand it, be warned.
Men and women undergo a lot of change after a break-up. If a person mentions having just broken up with or losing a loved one, it's probably not the right time to meet them. Yes, they may be EXACTLY what you're looking for normally, but you probably won't get the real them at that time. The drama and the emotions will alter their judgment and personality and no one wants to be taken advantage of in that manner.
Second, be aware of who you are dating. Income levels are not an indicator of personality nor of moral standing. Rich and poor, young and old both have equal opportunities to be the wrong person for you. I've known people who dated solely on the size of a person's wallet and they have the worst love lives I've ever seen. Look at pictures, look for signs of personality. Want a happy person? They're probably smiling in their picture. $100,000/yr does not a happy man make, so to speak. Alternately, if you happen to make enough money that it might attract the wrong crowd, DON'T LIST YOUR INCOME. If you don't want a gold digger, don't flash your cash. You probably don't need to drive up to meet them in a Bentley, either.
Lastly, be honest. This is old hack, so I won't spend too much time on it, but it's probably the most important piece of advice I can give. Be honest with yourself about what you want and be honest with yourself about who you are. Don't try to be every man/woman's fantasy, you can't be. Be yourself and both you and that special someone will be happier for it.
By Matt277, Texas, United States
Have you ever wondered what sets off the opposite sex? Well here are somethings not to do for your relationship to go a lot smoother.
First the guys. Ladies guys need sex every once in awhile so give it to them every other day or two.Also when they cry don't try to be there for them, just let them deal with it their way because they feel emasculated and they don't like that. Also don't accuse them of cheating and let them watch their sports. Do this and they will be happy.
Next its the women. Guys, ladies love the sweet surprises so go put on some slow music, get a dozen roses, and let them know how much you care and love them. When they are down be there for them and listen to their problems and use your brain to figure out how to make them happy again.
Also when you screw up and make them sad,no matter how much you don't want to, apologize and admit you were wrong. Just try to let them know they are the most important thing in the world to you. Take them out unexpectedly. Do that then its all good.
By Derek, Ohio, United States
It is okay to be a nerd. Everyone is a nerd / fan of something. But is it wise to advertise with it on a date?
No! It is not clever to boast about one's knowledge. When you are on a first date, you must be calm, positive and above all friendly. (It is often a big hit with the girls if the boy is a bit humorous.)
Now, when you meet your date and have a nice evening, remember not to talk too much about a subject. It is always allowed to talk about your interests and hobbies. Always be open and tell about yourself. If you want to talk about computers or WOW or anything, you can always start by saying one of the following options:
"One thing, I personally use a lot of time on...."
"I personally like to do...."
"In my spare time I love to do...."
"I actually use a bit of my time on...."
or something like that.
Then you are free to talk about your subject. Let your date into the subject by asking, him/her about different things you like about your subject, but do not argue with him/her too much. It's never fun to listen to someone who won't let you into the conversation.
When you have your opportunity to talk about your subject, don't waste it! Talk only about the most basic and important things you want to tell. Make a joke about it. In that way you are showing that you can handle that the joke's on you.
Now you have shown some of your interests and you can tolerate a joke or two. Only keep the conversation alive as long as your date seems interested.
By Puttepunker, Bornholm, Denmark.
I've been an on line dater for almost 10 years now. Let's face it; it's a great way to "shop" for your perfect fit. Meeting someone in a bar just isn't what it used to be.
My advice for all of you first time on liners is the following.
1. Assume that people are lying to you, so you will never be disappointed. I know this may sound negative but the fact is. It's just so easy to lie to someone when you're not face to face. Most common misrepresentation would be age and photo. When he and his pictures say "Tall, dark and handsome" and you meet him only to find he's short, fat and bald (this really did happen to me) it's all just a big waste of time. The way I see it, he's already lied to me. How can I ever trust him in the future? Remember this, guys.
2. Be Safe! Use an alias e-mail because you can be traced using your fist and last name. Meet him at the venue; don't let him pick you up. I have had guys call endlessly and sit outside my house in the past. As flattering as this may sound, it's no fun, I promise.
These are my two best pieces of advice for on line dating.
By sweet_sunshine, Texas, United States
Do not start relationships by chatting or talking about sex, it takes the important points of interest you should be talking about off the table and it pulls you into a vortex of sexual discussion and robs you of the opportunity of getting to know each other first. It is almost like having sex and after the act, you ask your partner.."Oh, by the way, what is your name?" The purpose of meeting someone here is to get to know them and see if you both have areas of common interests that makes you compatible. You wouldn't discuss sex with a stranger would you? Some people might, but it does not spell "common sense"...lol. Good luck.
By AmIalone2008, Massachusetts, United States
Guys make sure that you ask your date about themselves. If you only talk about yourself, the girl thinks you are only going to be "into" yourself. Ask specific questions, not just "tell me about yourself" b/c that sounds too interview like. Instead ask "what do you do for fun?" Tell me your most embarrassing moment in childhood or what is most important to you?
By Twilight2001, Texas, United States
The very best way to keep a happy healthy relationship is to make sure that both involved are aware of each other's way that they communicate love. Some people will feel loved by spending time together or lots of hugs and kisses while others feel that they are loved with gifts or compliments. In a relationship, you could give as many gifts or compliments as you will but if the person receives love by hugs and kisses, than this person is not going to feel love to its fullest potential. As we know, in a relationship both partners need to feel love to its fullest potential for true happiness.
By deeplyenchanted, Sorrento, Florida, United States
When looking for friendship make it clear that you are not looking for a sexually intimate relationship. If you receive an invitation to be a riding buddy, please don't assume you can trap any target. This applies equally to men and women. I know many men who for legitimate reasons in their marriage go bike or horse riding,canoeing paragliding or rock climbing on their own. It does not mean they are on the prowl.
Not an easy subject as predatory behaviour comes from both sexes. Once you have made initial contact over the net arrange to meet in a mutually safe environment, probably a public place with an easy route out for either of you to take without loss of face. Make sure you both agree that if you do not feel comfortable you can walk away.
Don't do as I did first time i me a tave companion though a similar site. I flew to Ethiopia from the UK to meet a lady from Amsterdam to travel in a hire vehicle into the African bush for a month with out having first met her. All the common sense aspects were covered in the emails. But reality was very different. I who never takes an aspirin without medical advice was introduced to chat. Best fed to sleepy goats in the morning so they can frisk about all afternoon discussing philosophy. Things could have been very much more serious.
The more kind and considerate your come off, the more likely you are a meeting new people and gaining relationships. Some guys will come off too strong and aggressive which may scare off potential matches. That's why if a guy is considerate of a girl's feeling he is more likely to win her trust and start a good relationship.
By coolen2003, Thorofare, New Jersey, United States
It saves both parties a lot of time and effort when everyone is honest about what type of relationship they're looking for from the beginning. If you're just looking for a fling, express that. If you're looking for marriage, emphasize that. It isn't fair to you're significant other to find out your interests are different well into the relationship.
By Bmonet07, Georgia, United States
Being honest can save a relationship that could lead to long time and marriage. For EX: on The Bachelorette-someone was found out because he wanted exposure for his future. She found out and he was in Europe-we don't even know who paid for the trip home. I don't feel it is necessary to tell all but when asked a question, don't lie, avoid or simply say "I feel it is too early", "I feel I will tell you that soon", or "simply-not your concern at this time". If and when we know our relationship is right there is much you will not know about me and I expect the same from you."
By IvoryPearlMusic, New York, United States
You should never make yourself look or seem too desperate or available. The person you are going out with might get the wrong idea. You shouldn't if you are looking for something serious not sleep with your date on the first night. They might look at you different and not take you as a serious partner. Also because you want to build up to it and save it for a good time then it'll make all the difference.
By Rockie28, Virginia, United States
Listen ladies I know that your tired of the confusion and how your man never seems to understand what you expect of him. You don't want to settle for less and you feel like you deserve better. You try and try and never seem to get the results that you need. Well try to be a little more patient because it might not be his fault. Let me explain.
Imagine that there's this couple riding around in their car after a date. The night is calm and foggy and there is a full moon. They are really into each other and their hormones are raging. They decide that they should take is to the next level and want to do it in naughty fashion. They decide to go for it in the car but soon find out that its too small for their sexual Olympic activities. They give up on the idea and drive away. As they are driving a little further down the road they pass a school and notice that there is a short yellow bus with tinted windows parked on the side. The couple agree that it would be perfect.
They approach the bus and are happy to find out that the door is unlocked. They go inside and before you know it they are humping like two rabbits on steroids. They finish , proclaim their love for one another and ride off into the night. nine months later they hear the magical words.."its a boy!!!" and they are both so proud of what they have created. They want to give him a good name and decide to choose one straight out of Hollywood because this child was SPECIAL.
As a matter of fact many of these kids are straight out of Hollywood and have been cast in leading roles of some big movies such as Radio, The Waterboy, Rain man, Sling Blade, Dumb and Dumber, Forrest Gump and the list goes on and on.
So ladies the next time your man just doesn't get it, just think about it. His parents could have been in a car on a calm and foggy night. He could have been the result of a makeout session next to a school. He may have been conceived on a shortbus. Send his ass to Hollywood and make some money off of him.
By travlin_man25, Georgia, United States
Be Persistent. Don't give it up too soon. Make us wait for at least 7 weeks. If he can wait that long on you for intercourse, you have something he likes.
Be Cautious. Meet someone you meet online at a restaurant or bar where there are a lot of people. Don't get drunk and go home with him.
Be Satisfied. Ladies on dating "bad" guys, you will never change him into a good guy or Mr. right. If his mother didn't change him, why do you think you will.
By hermdarsome1, Chicago, Illinois, United States
I was on this site once before. I met a man who was above my age limit but he wrote me the most beautiful emails (which are personalized, so you know he read my profile). I gave him a chance because of how sweet he was. Granted it didn't work out because of the age difference but he is still one of the best guys I have ever met.
The MORAL: Be personal and write emails that are worth reading and getting to know each other. Ask questions! Don't just write a 2 lines email and expect a girl to be like "yes, here is my number". Maybe if the girl has no self respect or only is a gold digger but a true girl wants romance.