MEMBERS' DATING ADVICE & SAFETY TIPS (1,400+)

The most comprehensive dating tips in the world!
  • 9 reasons once a connection is made, try to meet as soon as possible

    1: Since most men here are busy, they don't have time for endless emails. Once contact has been established, try to meet as soon as possible. Also send current pictures. Don't use pictures that were taken 2 years ago. That will give a different impression, and It might not be a good one!

    2: Let him pick a place that he wants to meet. A public place of course, even if you don't like the place or food. Don't make it all about you or he'll feel like you don't acknowledge his efforts and feelings.

    3: Always be on time and DRESS according to the occasion. I can not stress that enough.

    4: Have table manners and order only what you need, what you can eat and drink. Don't drink or eat excessively. This is not the time to try something you've never tried before either. You might end up disliking the food and leaving it untouched. That could show greediness because you likely wouldn't do that with your money.

    5: Don't talk about yourself the whole time. Engage in 2 way conversations. Also don't talk about previous relationships, either good or bad. Speaking poorly of previous relationships can make you look petty, and speaking fondly of previous relationships could make him wonder what you're doing here with him instead.

    6: Be gentle and polite on the first date. Say please, thank you, excuse me, and try to limit cursing, or avoid it altogether. Smile often and big, perhaps say you're happy you finally met, and can't wait to do this again if the chemistry matches.

    7: If you feel he is nice and want him to drive you home, it's okay but I prefer uber/lyft/taxi. You could reject politely and mention that might happen another time. If he insists, I give the address close to my house, then when he drops me off I walk the rest of the way (of course not too far) simply because I don't know him well enough yet.

    8: Try to keep in touch. Return calls and emails promptly. Don't email or call him excessively. Focus on building a fun relationship, respectful, and one that has room for growth!

    9; Lastly, do not become intimate on the first date. If you do. he'll just think that this is what you do with other people. Just a simple kiss and a hug is fine. Take it slow, there'll be plenty of time for that if the relationship works out.

    So many members on this site are very gentle and easy to talk to. That's what I love about them. This is a very genuine site compared to the ones I've been too. Good luck ladies. Stay safe!!!

    By Bellesabby, California, United States

  • A mutual chemistry is essential: Is it time to meet?

    After exchanging emails and concluding a mutual interest that meeting as soon as possible is best. A mutual chemistry is essential to pursuing any relationship and no matter how well you click: through emails or text messages true chemistry can only be found out through a face to face meeting.
    Remember to keep the first meeting brief in a no-pressure, public setting!

    By angeltatt2 Maryland, United States

  • Find out your match's favorites to plan a perfect date

    After exchanging emails it's time to plan a formal/informal meeting! By now you should know your match somewhat better than you did before the initial "Hi, my name is..." email. You have been emailing and conversing, learning things like, what your match enjoy doing for fun, what he/she likes to eat, etc. Hopefully "guys" you've been listening because this gives you the perfect opportunity to plan the "perfect" date! Good Luck!

    By Prissy2shoes, California, United States

  • First emails are critical

    The first few emails between each other are critical. This is that initial impression point that can make or break someones perception of you and whether they want to progress towards meeting you.

    Tips:

    1. Show interest-there's nothing worse than exchanging emails with someone who seems bored from the start. Show each other that you are genuinely looking to put the time in to find someone who is your perfect fit.

    2. Keep it light- light, playful banter back and forth is way better than playing 20 questions and basically forcing the other person to know through an email and answer whether they feel they would want to marry you!

    3. Keep it going- keep it fun and keep it going. Emails can get awkward and lead to no where if your not careful. Make sure you stay upbeat and interested, well as long as you really are!

    4. Take a leap-step up and take the next step. Ask the ever hanging question...do you want to go on a date? Shocking yes, but at some point you have to ask it if you want more than a pen pal.

    Just a few tips for making it through the critical period of on line match sites. You don't want email to be the reason for your failure now do you?!

    Contributed by LaurieT, Long Beach, California, United States

  • Have A Phone Call Before Meeting In Person

    Obviously, after some short emails back and forth, it's time for a phone call. One can tell a lot about a person from their voice and how they say things. Keep it light, don't ask too many personal questions and see how the conversation goes. Keep the call to 10 minute maximum. You'll have plenty of time to talk about yourselves when you meet. Then make a time to meet for coffee or a drink, NOT lunch or dinner!

    Keep that short to about an hour or so......if you both like each other, then you can make plans for a real date. Above all, men be gentlemen and women, be ladies!

    Author By : Operagirl1, New York, United States.

  • How to move BEYOND the continuous email exchanges

    One of the advantages to online dating is that it opens you up to prospects that you may not have ever met in real life had it not been for the Internet/World Wide Web. However, in order to have a successful online dating experience that could possibly translate into a successful relationship it is important to move BEYOND the continuous email exchange. Here are some tips on how:

    1. Make sure that you keep your profile complete, up to date and include at least (3) photos of yourself. This will help prospects to get an accurate sense of who you are and whether or not there is a likelihood for compatibility.

    2. When you find a profile that is interesting, don't wait for them to contact you first. Initiate the conversation! Many people add to their favorite's and send winks hoping to attract the attention of the other party so that it'll feel as if they are the prey instead of the hunter. This can usually slow down the process. If you see someone that you like GO FOR IT...let them know and express your interest!

    3. Ask open-ended relevant questions by carefully considering the content of their profile. This will communicate to the person that you did actually take the time to try to get to know them and what they are looking for before reaching out. This will also reduce a lot of the back and forth "get to know you" email exchanges as many of the questions people as is usually already reflected within the profile.

    4. Try to set a goal of one to two email exchanges and if there is a comfort and mutual interest, go ahead and arrange a date/time to meet IRL. You can communicate with someone back and forth via the written word FOREVER, but in order to truly gauge compatibility, you MUST meet in real life. This will help you determine whether there is any real chemistry and if there is a possibility of the connection developing into something truly authentic and special. Be bold, Communicate honestly, and enjoy making new connections online that translate into memorable experiences offline. Most importantly be safe and use good judgment. Best wishes!

    By SheReigns, NY, United States

  • It's not worth the stress and risk of meeting you until she is satisfied you are an honest normal guy not hiding anything

    Even though every individual and every couple are unique, as a woman, I'd like to share some tips that may apply to quite a lot of your interactions with women. A lovely man on this site, who comes across as very open, pleasant and relaxed and who is very good at chatting with online, requested I write on this topic – how can you move an online conversation with a woman to meet her face to face?

    Well, I could give you a list of 20+ suggestions but the best and really the only way is for you to understand what motivates her, from her perspective, which is probably not going to be anything like yours… We all want love and romance but if you look at it from a woman's perspective she wants that from someone that is usually much taller and stronger than her and has 20 times more sexual urge ( 20 x more testosterone) and much less pressure from society to ‘be nice' and not just force what you want when you can.

    So this can be intimidating. I will repeat. This can be intimidating. So she has a lot more at risk than you do. I will repeat.

    She has a lot more at risk than you do. It's like when you were a kid and you really wanted to pat the dog, reaching out your hand…it seems friendly….you want to believe it's friendly…but you really don't know for sure if it's going to bite. You may think to your self " well hey! that doesn't apply to my situation because I am a nice, kind guy that wouldn't hurt a fly, so she's got nothing to worry about." …You've been polite, you've talked about your mutual interest in crossword puzzles/sky diving, so it's obvious you are a nice trustworthy guy, right ? … Wrong! Do you think the ‘bad guys' don't do the same? Or even smoother? Do you think they wear black capes and post photos of themselves kicking kittens? Do you think they swear and talk about their past successful assaults on previous women? Nooooooooh! They act just like you, the nice guys…at first anyway. " But that can't be that common ?" you think. That's just women being paranoid, right?… Wrong! The facts are 1 in 4 women have been sexually assaulted at some level in their lifetime…so think about how many more have had verbal threats, and made a narrow escape…

    Don't you think they are courageous for trying and trusting again? For trying to sort the bad eggs from the good ones ( like you )? ( By the way, I mean you are the good eggs, okay ?) So the best way to make her feel excited about meeting you instead of not sure yet is to be kind and make it easier for her to sort out which one you are, instead of making her have to put herself at risk first. So all you have to do is show some understanding and respectfully prove you are not lying. Because guess what? The bad guys are. They are covering something up, but you don't so show it! I don't mean send her the code to your family vault. You can do this just in your normal online conversation. Talk about your day to day life, like my online friend does, he talks about the dishes he cooks like a chef and the spices he uses. After a while, I could tell if his story didn't add up, putting sardines on the icecream... For example, if she asks about the golf you say you enjoy. Tell her something real, like the great pine trees on the one you play on. If you say you liked a certain book, say why in your own words. Don't be like a recent faker who quoted from a book review.

    Or another recent online faker, who looked very handsome in his photos ( they're never ordinary ) who had trouble with writing English online yet said he enjoyed reading Shakespeare's Tempest! Both of these professed their undying attraction for me moments before completely disappearing from the site after I asked innocent questions like " How long have you been widowed ?" So for example, if she asks you three questions. Answer three questions. Don't hold back and act mysterious. Otherwise, you could be hiding something ( like your wife/dungeon/catabolism ). Or be avoiding giving out a lot ‘information' that is too hard to keep straight later ( lies are much harder to remember than the truth ). You may find mystery romantic, but it's the opposite for her- it's not worth the stress and risk of meeting you until she is satisfied you are an honest normal guy not hiding anything. So just chat about things like you had to pick up Aunty Betty's hayfever medication this afternoon. You don't have to be impressing her, constantly wrestling tigers all the time. You just have to show that, you, aren't one yourself.

    By MsTreeWoman, Victoria, Australia

  • Keep the conversation going

    The next step after the first exchange is to keep the conversation going. If it seems that the first conversation went well keep in touch. You don't have to wait till the other starts another conversation, start yourself. Go to the others profile and start from there, you can talk about each others likes, talk about and agree upon what the first date should entail. And most importantly be yourself.

    Dmc1359, Texas, United States

  • Moving toward a meeting once you've established fundamental interest!

    I have found (especially amongst those of us with unique challenges) that moving toward a "face to face" meeting as soon as possible dramatically increases the potential of a successful match!

    Most people would agree that (despite the convenience of internet-dating) we tend to "hide behind" our computers out of fear of rejection or of taking risks and pre-maturely "rule" others "in" or "out" over petty differences. These tendencies combined with the ease of ending a relationship online sabotage many an effort.

    Most people would also agree that "chemistry" is the most important element in any relationship and can only be determined in person. Most petty differences are "overlooked" when "chemistry" is present and the relationship naturally becomes much more personal, warm, and lasting after meeting. Besides, if the "chemistry" is not there....it frees you too move-on.

    Therefore......Get Busy!... moving toward a meeting (and avoid extensive chat ) once you've established fundamental interest! You'll be glad you did!

    By hilohanger1 , Hawaii, United States

  • Skip the phone interview and go on a blind date

    Finding mutual attraction from profiles is hard enough, so why take a chance and lose that feeling by having a phone interview before meeting face to face? Anything you want to ask is received much better in person where you can experience the other person. In my experience, every time I've talked in any detail before meeting someone. I decide not to meet them or we had a great conversation without the interview but was let down when we met. This may be for the more picky client but my rule is to always go on a blind date first, and then if we are interested we can talk on the phone after.

    Men especially seem to have a checklist they will go down on the phone if they haven't met you. Women prejudge in different ways. I just think it's awkward talking to a complete stranger you haven't met. Sometimes you hit it off on the phone and then you meet and there's zero spark for one of you. That is worse and really difficult to have to hurt feelings after such a great phone conversation. In my opinion it saves a lot of time and hurt feelings. Go on the date ready for the best time regardless of the outcome. It definitely is more romantic. Who knows you may meet the love of your life if your not prequalifying them first.

    By SoSuze, California, United States

  • Skype video meeting can be the next after email exchanges.

    Of course emails, viber or what'sapp are useful part of communication but nothing can be better then meeting face to face.

    Below you find 3 reasons why it is true

    1. You can understand in a minute that person you communicate is a real and normal one: face expressions, gestures, words he or she uses - all this is the shortest way to decided do you want to continue your communication.

    2. When you just reading letters, you make your own image of a person. And often this image has nothing to do with the reality. It is like to read a book and then watch a movie. I heard from a lot of people: "I imagined that character is a different way and now I'm disappointed".

    3. Your partner in emails exchange also understands - are you that very person he/she is looking for

    To cut the long story short, I can tell you, if you meet in video chat (like Skype) after a couple of emails you have more chances to find the right person and less chances to waste your time for nothing

    By vvvmarisha, Lombardia, Italy

  • Taking the plunge!

    Sometimes you meet someone online and you click, you just can't get them out of your head and you can tell it's mutual. Don't be afraid to ask them to meet up, somewhere public and safe of course, but just do it. If in the course of the conversation they say I would like to see/meet you, if you're up for it say 'so would I'! Taking that first step is the hardest however the most important one if you want a friendship to move forward.

    By Maltese_B, Sliema, Malta

  • Talk over the phone first before you meet

    Exchange phone numbers and talk for a few weeks before you meet. You get to become a little more familiarized with them. If they can't talk over the phone a lot of times they will have nothing to say in person. You will also see if they know how to talk to you like you are a lady and respect you...If they don't do that over the phone then you definitely don't want to waste your time meeting them.

    By Mayves, GA, United States

  • When should you meet after exchanging emails?

    Since I have experienced this more than once, I think meeting sooner than later is important. Many times we see a picture and find some interest. We then may start emailing and it is fun and it peaks our interest. I have had this happen to the point that you feel you have a connection, including beginning to talk on the phone, which may give you a deeper connection. It is disappointing to both parties to have that connection build up, only to meet in person and find that there isn't physical chemistry. It is worse when you have high expectations because of the communication. It saves time, energy, and emotion to meet sooner than later. You can take a little time to talk and know that you at least have mutual interest, but I think it is better to meet in person to begin really learning about a person rather than getting too in depth from a distance. This can be more difficult if there is really a long distance, but if you don't take the risk, there is nothing to gain. Find out if it is worth spending more time quickly. Until you talk and get that first kiss, you won't really know.

    By stephaniecl35, Kentucky, United States

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  • When to ask for a number

    I've found when exchanging emails, you have to present yourself and be assertive, but at the same time, give the other person some comfort before asking for their phone number. The first email should get their attention and make them desire you. You should spend the next 3 to 5 emails building up their trust in you. Once you feel it's right, you should be confident in asking for it to take things to the next steps.

    By hhpoet55227,Texas, United States

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