MEMBERS' DATING ADVICE & SAFETY TIPS (1,400+)

The most comprehensive dating tips in the world!
  • 3 simple tips to start a conversation

    Starting a conversation can be relatively simple...but then there are those of you who are socially awkward. So here are a few tips when attempting to start a conversation with a person of interest:

    1. Talk about the weather (without sounding too corny & cliche) "Lovely weather we're having" ..sounds a bit dry & old fashioned.. "So I heard it supposed to be almost 65 today...that's way better than it usually is this time of year" ...much better.

    2. Give her a compliment! Women love compliments!! Just remember....don't go too overboard with it. "Damn...you got amazing tits" .....NOO!! "You have the most gorgeous eyes" ...much more flattering. Try to notice the lesser noticed details such as her eyes, teeth, smile or hair instead of pointing out how amazing her body is.

    3. Introduce yourself! Be direct & forward. Try not to be shy...and shake all fears of rejection! A woman loves a man who knows what he wants! "Hey there gorgeous. I just happened to notice you sitting here & I just could not live with myself if I didn't come over here & introduce myself. I'm John..and you are? ...very inviting, friendly, beat"

    By Damitajo, Michigan, United States

  • 7 tips for making an attractive first contact

    It's always a challenge to make that initial contact.

    Do I just throw out a wink and see if they respond or should I write something and if I write something, how can I appear clever, witty or charming?

    Good questions all and the answer lies in simplicity and "candor", yes candor.

    1. There a song by Lee Ann Womack whose lyrics say "And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. I hope you dance ..." OK, there's your answer. Are you in or out? Do you really want to make a connection with this person or are you casting out your net to see what (or who) inadvertently swims into it. The latter is not ideal and not designed to produce the desired results.

    2. Serious MMers know the difference. So I recommend that if you're really interested in meeting this person, WRITE SOMETHING! Writing is an expression of interest and an investment of time. It reveals to the reader much about your creativity, vulnerability and enthusiasm.

    3. For those of you who employ the shotgun approach, while playing the numbers game may eventually produce "a result", wouldn't it be better to contact fewer MMers with quality contact designed to get a positive response and that first date?

    4. So what to write? Easy, read their profile and search out their interest and desires, for ex. you can comment on a funny photo, a particular item of clothing (don't be rude or crude - nice cleavage comments won't earn you any points- be respectful)

    5. Just about every subscriber will "open the door" to an enticing and welcome comment. Just read their desires and be creative. For ex, if the ad states the the lady likes a man who wears fine clothes, you can open with "I'm a refined gentleman with an eclectic wardrobe but I will admit I have been seen in public wearing Bermuda shorts and flip flops" See, it gets the message across meeting her expectation tinged with a bit of humor. That's the ticket my friends.

    6. A subscriber wrote, "I don't like rude or arrogant people" A humorous response could be, "I know you don't like rude or arrogant people but I'm a lawyer and I hope you wont hold it against me"

    7. How about, after checking who's viewed me, " I caught you looking and I'm glad you did, can we talk"

    The initial contact should be open, honest, respectful and a bit humorous to get the maximum response. After a reply from your intended, ITS ALL UP TO YOU! So just be yourself and good luck.

    By Tenaceus, New York, United States

  • A customized original message creates an unique connection

    The best way to get the attention of the man you are trying to contact, is to send him an original message based on what you read in his profile. Think about what you liked on his profile, what attracted you the most or what got your attention and just send him a message telling him about that. A customized original message Creates a unique connection and starts the potential relationship with honesty. And everybody loves honesty!

    By daisy_fleuur, Ontario, Canada

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  • A warm smile can lead the way

    Meeting someone for the first time can be little scary. I feel that a warm smile, eye contact and a sincere'' Hello ,nice to meet you", can make the other person feel more comfortable about the initial meeting.

    I always find that asking open ended questions about their interests, hobbies etc can help break the ice by showing them you are interested in knowing more about them. An example would be if you know they enjoy camping ask them " what do you enjoy most about camping out?" Do you enjoy tent camping or a trailer and why?" by asking these type of questions the other person will converse with you about the subject .

    If you ask a simple yes or no question such as "Do you enjoy camping?" You will tend to get a yes or no answer that doesn't allow for a conversation to get started.

    By kslove , Massachusetts, United States

  • Always be humorous

    We all like to be happy and have a good laugh. Humour is not only attractive but also can attract. A lot of people are too uptight and professional-like. If you can't be silly and have fun with a person, if you can't drop the office face and be free spirited and not only lap humour up and have a laugh but lighten up and also use humour, I very much doubt you will have a positive, lively, open relationship. So humour is great. Use it!

    By thirtyfive, New South Wales, Australia

  • An easy way to break the ice is to boost their confidence and stroke their ego's

    A good way to break the ice is by simply remembering that your partner is still human and thus will be attacked to human qualities. First, get a feel for them by the information and pictures they post. If they are self employed CEO's or anything that has them starting from the bottom boost their confidence and stroke their ego's. If they have a different job then do your homework and read up on what it is they do and talk about it with them. The more they feel appreciated the more generous they will be. And don't be afraid to be funny and make joke's especially cheesy pickup lines.

    By Cleo_Patra94, Texas, United States

  • Ask "What do you like to do?" instead of "What do you do?"

    "What do you like to do?", this one little question is great to break the ice, because it allows people to talk about what interests them the most.

    Instead of asking, "What do you do?" which limits the conversation to work, adding the word "like" allows the other person to talk about what they like, and to focus on the positive.

    Many people don't like their work, or don't want to talk about it on a first date. By asking them what they like to do, it allows the other person to talk about what they enjoy, and allows them to bypass any awkwardness if they don't want to talk about their work. On the other hand, if work is something that they are very passionate about, then they are free to discuss that with you. This works on both sexes, by the way, and in every situation.

    After you ask, "What do you like to do?" be sure to actually listen to the other person, and respond appropriately. By allowing the other person to talk about what they like, you show yourself to be a positive, engaging person who is genuinely interested in others.

    By MariaDLS, Nevada, United States

  • Be brave to say hi first

    Fear of rejection--and rejection itself--is a state of mind. We make too big a deal of initial encounters and asking for dates/ numbers. First step is to speak! Sounds easy but it's the hardest part. Say hi! You don't need to ask for the date or number yet. When you can relax and just be friendly, you are half way there.

    By Keep_Smiling, British Columbia, Canada

  • Be careful with general pickup lines

    If you take interest in someone I find it best to avoid rehearsed and general pickup lines. Be original, and think of what interests you with the other person and let that be the basis for a compliment or your own new pickup line..

    By Nominia, La Paz, Bolivia

  • Break the Ice, but not like the Titanic

    First dates can be harrowing enough without the extra worry of wondering how to break the ice. To me the best way to break the ice starts well before the first date.

    When I'm chatting to someone, be it online, over the phone or via email, I would make sure I ask questions such as the person's interests, hobbies, what sort of work they do or where they come from.

    This enables me to do some research if need be about these topics - which in turn might help to alleviate the "awkward silence". It also shows that you've taken a genuine interest in your date!

    And as always self confidence, humour & a little bit of flirting never go astray. And don't forget girls.... there's nothing wrong with us girls giving a well deserved compliment to a guy - we all secretly love it!!

    By sugar_sweet13, New South Wales, Australia

  • Don't be afraid to say hi

    Don't be afraid to even say hi.

    If your not really good at talking to others, its ok just complement them on some thing they said on there profile or some thing you like in there photo. If some one winks at you or sends you a message, dont be to afraid to send one back.

    Every great adventure starts with the first step,ok that was corney, but what i mean is youl never know if he/she is the one unless you take the first step and say hi. Don't try and be some one your not and end up being an aquward studdering bad joke telling dork just because your trying to act like the type of person listed on there profile. Just be troothful to who you are and be honest with him/her.

    No matter what they say there looking for, I say go for it and show them what a wonderful person you can be. And who knows, the first of a thousand dates could begin with a simple hello.

    By blackarabianrose, Tennessee, United States

  • Don't say one-liner without a real conversation on instant messages

    I get a lot of instant messages from men that are trying to get to know me better and the biggest mistake they can make right off the bat is to send me a one-line message. Tell me something about yourself. Start a real conversation. Don't just say "you're hot" and expect a response. I will usually respond to a well thought-out message from someone even if there's no sparks between us just because they put so much effort into their message that I feel as though I'm being rude and/or stuck-up if I don't write them back. Anyways, that's just my opinion.

    By debbie7774u , Oklahoma , United States

  • Finding out their likes or interests and acknowledging them will make your messages stand out

    Try being "out of the box" or original with your introduction message to someone. Take the time to look at their profile and note a couple things about them to ask them about. Show a common interest or ask them to elaborate on something they say in their profile. For example, if you see that they enjoy "good food" or "dining out", start with something like, "hello, I've noticed you enjoy eating good food, so do I. What are some of your favorite types of food or dishes? Mine are _____ and so forth".

    Finding out their likes or interests and acknowledging them will make your messages stand out amongst others with a much larger chance of getting a response.

    By Anonymous

  • How to break the ice if you are a little shy

    It's important to create the right impression when meeting someone for the first time. Appearing overconfident can be off-putting, being very shy can to make people have second thoughts.

    If you are a little on the shy side, and don't want to be sat there alone waiting, then arrive 5 - 10 minutes late (no more); that way you can arrive and instantly offer to buy them a drink, smile while you apologise for being fashionably late, and break the ice with a little humor.

    By IrishBoyLondon, London, England, United Kingdom

  • How to break the ice with a email

    Do you see a profile that you are interested in but you don't know how to initiate aconversation with the person you are interested in? You know that you don't want to sound cheezy or corny but you can't quite think of the perfect thing to say.

    Well first I would like to start off by saying make sure you don't use any pick up lines. If you want the person you are interested in to take you seriously, any lines like.. "" you must be an angel, because I'm sure you fell straight from heaven" won't work and it most likely will result in that person deleting your email and not taking a proper chance on you.

    I have found that the best method to use when trying to approach them is to first off...BE YOURSELF! You want them to take you seriously and not think that your some goof ball just looking tor a hang out bubby and not a long term relationship.

    Second, start with HELLO! That seems like such an obvious tip but you would be surprised at how many people don't realize that the person you are interested in is just a normal person who would be more responsive to a kind hello then some ''pickup line".

    Third, keep it light and flirty. A couple lines are all that's needed to get a conversation started. You don't have to give them your whole bio in the first initial email. That is sure to turn the person off because they can feel like you are providing them with ''TMI'' and going on and on. It can also give them the impression that you like to talk to much about yourself. KEEP IT SHORT, FLIRTY, AND SWEET.

    Fourth, If you see that you share a common interest with them then you could mention that in your email. This is a perfect ice breaker because it gives you something to talk about.

    Fifth, It's a awesome idea to ASK A QUESTION! This almost insures a reply. Because if you are asking someone a question..they feel that you are really trying to get to know them as a person and the door is opened for conversation.

    A sample ice breaker would be. Hello, I saw your profile and it sparked my interest. Your smile caught my eye as well. I see that you are interested in fishing. Fishing is one of my favorite past times. How often do you fish?'' See...a couple lines...you have initiated that you have something in common and you asked them a question. So now they have something to reply back to.

    Hopes this helps you in your initial contact to breaking the ice. Use these tips and you are almost sure to get a reply!

    By divinedestiny01, Florida, United States

  • How to get a response

    Read the entire profile and find a common area or areas. Then email about them. If you like to cook and so do they, mention that. Or if they like to go for drives or boating and so do you, mention that.Don't just say "hi" and expect to get e response. You should let them know you took the time to read their profiles and are interested.Good luck

    By Abc5327, Virginia, United States

  • How to initiate a conversation with a man?

    A good man is what we all want and look for... but some of us just have no clue how to initiate a conversation.

    However, he is not going to just walk right up to your door and knock because he knows this is what you're looking for...in fact its just the opposite.

    Men don't know what we're looking for which is why we have to let our social instincts off the leash, come out of our shell and let them know what we want, what we don't and what we're willing to put up with! So, the next time your social senses are a buzz.... let them go and talk to all and sundry!

    The only way to overcome this type of shyness is to get out there and initiate the first response...

    By LadyT40, Kentucky, United States

  • It never hurts to start with a beautiful compliment

    The hardest part is out-of-the-way, you've finally found a match ... now you may be wondering how to merge your two worlds seamlessly without feeling pretentious. I promise you, the answer is usually in the profile (Yours and theirs).

    An obvious one might be the physical attraction, let's say your potential match has beautiful green eyes . It never hurts to start with a beautiful compliment, " You have captivating, bold, expressive eyes, they are beautiful, hi my name is---". Not too many people will turn down a compliment especially when the compliment feels like it's not objectifying .

    Secondly you can find common interest between you and that person. Let's just say you both expressed in your profiles that you love wine tasting, you can always start with, "I love that we share an interest in wine tasting, I particularly like red wines, a bold, smooth robust taste, what are some your favorite wines? Not only will you get a little bit more information about what kind of wine that person likes you also can potential set up a great first date in something you both love to do .

    Lastly, simply introduce yourself, as relatable as possible. I find that more people enjoy genuineness than and overcompensating. Simply, hi my name is --- I came across your profile and find you beautiful/handsome, after reading your profile I feel like we are very compatible but I would love to take it one step further and get to know you personally, i'd love to hear back from you have a great day " . This approach gives your potential match some insight that you have read about them, you're interested in them and you want to see something a little deeper than just conversation. If there is chemistry you should get some answer back.

    Just remember there are so many of us trying to find love that everybody that you approach or meet won't be your soulmate but ultimately if you can open up communication, you have the ability to spark up something that might lead to the greatest love of your life . Don't be Afraid to "Break the Ice"!

    By goldnsunshine, California, United States

  • Just ask what you want to know and be you

    Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Well enough to break the ice..... These lines are fun and they do sometimes work. My girls and I had a conversation one night. We came to the conclusion that when a man is just being himself we know what to expect. We truly don't care for surprises. Be yourself. Women can smell fear, just like a horse. If your being yourself then your comfortable. If you aren't comfortable with yourself then maybe that's a tell tell sign that you should work on you before going into a relationship. Relationships take time and energy and if you are having to work on yourself as well as the relationship, the relationship is doomed to fail. If you want to get to know a gal or guy ask for details on a subject they barely touched on. Or ask how they feel on a subject that means a lot to you. Don't beat around the bush. Times awastin. Just ask what you want to know and be you. You may feel discouraged, but your weeding out others faster. Be patient. After all you want someone to fall for you and who you are.

    By okiepokegal,Oklahoma, United State

  • Nothing kills a chance at love like Silence

    There's a gorgeous blue eyed beauty standing across the room from you, or in the chat...You're contemplating speaking to her but how do you do it? After all the first impression is a lasting one!

    What I find usually works is starting a conversation of with a complement or statement. The conventional Hi or Hello is polite but I find that when you start a conversation with something that person wasn't expecting you tend to grab their attention more easily.

    Try starting your next conversation with a complement or observation you've made or even with a gesture. Don't forget that if are interested in someone, don't be shy, be yourself and don't waste the opportunity!

    All the best!

    By Forever_Charmed, KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa

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