MEMBERS' DATING ADVICE & SAFETY TIPS (1,400+)

The most comprehensive dating tips in the world!
  • 20 rules for successful online dating

    1. Always let them come to you, don't chase them via email.
    2. Block anyone who annoys you instantly.
    3. Post the best and most vigorous photo you can find.
    4. Don't reply to instant messages with clever opening lines.
    5. Remain aloof and let yourself be chased.
    6. Always reply to emails at least 3 days after receipt.
    7. Never provide your real email or phone details.
    8. Always date safely and protect yourself at every turn.
    9. Make sure your login name is stunning and sexy, as well as enigmatic.
    10. Do not login for hours on end. Short, rapid visits are best.
    11. Do not assume the person you are talking to is destitute or sad.
    12. Never ever reply to emails on weekends. Wait until a weekday.
    13. Never state how good your sexual performance is in your profile.
    14. If you don't want to date married men, spell it out in your profile.
    15. A man who doesn't reply to your email within 3 days should be ignored.
    16. Make sure your humor levels come across in text.
    17. Do not chat to hundreds of men at once. Be selective, tactic and respectful.
    18. The delay in replying is a dead giveaway and your Mr. Right will be off.
    19. Don't even think about misrepresenting your size or description. They will find out.
    20. Come across as cool and sophisticated for best results

    By nancynl, Orangeburg, South Carolina, United States

  • 5 Tips to get noticed by guys

    1. Make yourself sound confident by using simple headlines.
    2. Don't make trashy profile pictures, showing skin is fine but some men want a little more class.
    3. List things that you are good at and be positive COMPLETELY throughout your statements you declare.
    4. Add words that pack a punch and catch people's eye, when I read, if it seems boring and drawn out then I'm basically on to the next thing on my list unless I "have to" read it of course ha.
    5. This is the main one for me, Smile, I don't care who the guy is, we all love a nice smile on a lady, everyone has flaws but a match isn't worried about that if they are truly interested, so smile and be you.

    By RyKnow, North Carolina, United States

  • 7 Ways to Get a Better Response Rate

    When dating online, a few tips remain true no matter what site you are on. By following these rules, your experience will be more satisfying because you will actually get to talk to a few more people than you would otherwise.

    Here are 7 tips I have learned that have gotten me a 90% response rate (and I'm not even all that good looking)

    1. Check the date of last login. Focus on those who have been recently logged in. They are more likely still "available" and still hoping to meet that right person.
    2. Check to see who has viewed you. They are are live, active people who just might not be able to initiate an email. but something drew them to your profile. In sales, they would call them a "warm lead".
    3. Be respectful in your email. If you need an explanation, the rest of this article won't help you.
    4. Read you email out loud. You need to hear how silly it sounds. it will also help you find the typos. If you can read it aloud and still want to send it, you are probably doing well.
    5. mention something she actually wrote in her profile and talk about it.
    6. make sure your picture shows you participating in some hobby you enjoy. It gives them an idea of your personality.
    7. Write an honest email. Don't copy and paste a form letter. You would think this doesn't have to be said, but it does.

    You can follow these rules on any site, paid or unpaid and dramatically increase your response rate. Thank me later!

    By gooddadgreatguy, Georgia, United States

  • Be Honest..not just for others but, for yourself

    Some say they are on the site looking for a soulmate,best friend,the one and so on.You browse around,find one or two that fit your liking. They're saying this and saying that... you're truly liking and ready to meet. That person is giving you the "well I didn't show because" or I got lost at or whatever it may be. You sit and think long and hard about your chats on the phone... realize "this person says he works during the day but only calls me late at night...the person and I sometimes are on the phone and they have to rush to get off the phone or their phone lost it signal a few times". People pay close attention.. those are signs that they're married or in a relationship already. They can't meet you at night because the other half is there.Why are people in relationships her looking for someone to hurt??? People need to to be truthful about themselves. We all are human and have feelings. Be Honest..not just for others but,for yourself.

    By canstill_luv, North Carolina, United States

  • Be patient with women who seem very cautious or reserved

    Hey guys, I can only speak from my own experience here, but as a woman (and a lady) in this world of online dating, I've become very cautious in my getting-to-know-you conversations. I can't speak for every woman you'll encounter(obviously), but I'll give you a little fresh perspective if you feel like you're not getting the reaction you expect.

    In one day (ONE DAY) I've been contacted by multiple men on various sites who got shut down pretty quickly. They ignored my concerns (you're 26, I'm 52, that doesn't work for me), or reached out offering involvement in an open relationship when I very clearly state that I'm looking for a 1-on-1 relationship, or just reached out for an overt hookup with a total stranger, and been asked 5 times for my number within the first two or three messages. I have to tell you, I don't think ANY of these men read my profile or respected my boundaries stated in them. Because of these bad apples, I'm cautious when I begin conversations, trying to get a good read on each person I chat with, hoping to find that true gentleman. Let me give you some tips on what works for a lady like me.

    -Ask questions and read her answers, then pose follow-ups.
    -Be curious to learn more about her.
    -Respond to her questions in the same way--answering honestly or asking if it would be ok if you address that at a later time if it's ultra-sensitive for you.
    -Help her become comfortable with who you are as a person, as a man. Be willing to be a little vulnerable.

    If she pushed back on flirting, she might be trying to keep the conversation at that G-rated level of getting to know you, and that's ok. It doesn't mean she'll never get to PG or R, or that she isn't interested, or that she's uptight! Some women prefer to keep the conversation at the "getting to know you" phase until they're comfortable enough to meet you. THEN if there's attraction, you may roll into PG or beyond. Personally, I don't like to get the cart ahead of the horse for that, and I know other women who feel the same way. I don't want to get into deep discussions with a virtual stranger about how I like to be intimate or what I like in bed, only to find at our first meeting that either he isn't who he said he was, we just don't click, he works for my ex, or he's the kids' math teacher! I also don't want to feel like a piece of meat you're just waiting to put the moves on, but instead want to be thought of as partner material, someone who you'd treat with respect, someone you'd cherish.

    As a woman who links intimacy with emotions (not all do, just speaking for myself here), I don't want my emotions to get ahead of me before I even meet the potential date. So I've found that it's better for me to wait to talk about the physical part of a relationship until after we've met and had a date, as it lets me be less emotionally invested/connected if the first date is the only date. Just something to consider.

    By Anonymous, Illinois, United States

  • Being Genuine Creates More Successful Matches

    The likelihood that your Match is constantly surrounded by more accomplished and better looking people than you is very high. In the end, they still decided to sign up on here. You don't need to be the best looking, smartest or most successful person, most of all you need to be genuine. Don't develop a persona you think will please as many potential partners as possible to increase your chances of finding anyone. Be true to who you are and highlight what makes you unique. Don't make others think you're looking for just anyone, anyone with money. Let them see you for who you are and give them a good idea of who you are looking for. They will want you because they feel you want them for who they truly are. They want to know that not anyone will do, only THEY will do.

    By JudyMa, Baden-Wurttemberg, Germany

  • Do not give it up easily and always fulfill your promises

    So far I have met some nice guys who do not seem to show any interest in me even though they say they are. There are promises of meeting in their free time. Or meeting once for the first date as planned...empty promises? I would think so. Should I consider him more, is s/he serious about the possibility of meeting? Maybe. Are they seriously serious even after many unfulfilled promises? I wouldn't think so.

    The best way (as I see it) to let a woman know that you are interested after the first few months of getting to know them is by calling them or messaging them (every) once in a while. Let them know you still consider their company. This will help for us to know that we should consider you farther. If you show no interest or give empty or false promises, we are bound to move on. The least you could do is BE UP FRONT about it!

    If you want our interest, then show yours! You never know, Ms. Right or Mr. Right might just walk right past you and you'll wonder "what happened?!"

    By Sweetcyn86, Texas, United States

  • Don't be negative or tell too much info when emailing others

    Don't email someone telling them every detail from birth to present, keep it brief. Tell them something interesting not about how you got hurt in your last relationship (avoid talking about negative subjects), people don't want to hear negative thoughts, it makes you sound depressing and they assume you might carry past baggage or too much drama.

    By Karyn4u, Oklahoma, United States

  • Don't be too quick to trust

    I'm fairly new to the online dating. Having been through several bad relationships in a row, I've been very hesitant to get involved and trust someone. I've seen and heard a lot of things while looking through profiles. When I begin exchanging emails with someone, i'm very honest with what i want and who i am. I also ask a ton of questions. I mean a ton. I'll even ask the same questions in different ways to see if i get the same response.

    If I become interested or intrigued, then i'll give my phone number and chat a few times. If that goes well, then we'll meet, but somewhere public. Coffee shops, bookstores, and parks are great! Find someplace that will be interesting for both of you, but also will invite conversation. You can't be too safe these days, and i know people who are just in a hurry to jump into a relationship before they really know the other person.

    By browneyedgemini, Washington, United States

  • Don't beat around the bush when you communicate with your matches

    Don't beat around the bush when you communicate with your matches. Tell your match exactly what you're looking for in them and tell them exactly what you are all about physically and mentally. Don't ignore 'red flags'. Address them immediately for resolution, otherwise you may end up wasting your time and your matches time.

    By Astro93, Pennsylvania, United States

  • Don't jump too quick by only viewing one picture

    When looking at someones photos, don't always dismiss them because of it. It might not be a good photo and it is always better to know the person on the inside. Always remember that is what counts the most. That is only one picture you have seen of that person. If you see more of them but they are still not your type then it is OK, but otherwise judging based on looks is a shallow thing to do.

    By VampireLayer, England - Lancashire, United Kingdom

  • Don't play games

    Don't play games. Games really shouldn't enter into the dating and relationship arena unless they are in the bedroom. Otherwise playing games creates unnecessary drama by manipulating people and the outcome of situations. You may feel like you need to test your dates but you are creating a relationship based on misconceptions. And how can you trust what you think you know when you've been playing games? And, if your dates senses that you are a game player, you may end up looking like a childish fool.



    By sandiegobabe, California, United States
  • Don't try to be something you're not.

    No need to go on a date trying to be some one you're not. There's a big chance he will see right though you! Relax - he is just like any other guy, just with a bigger bank account!

    Manners is a must - Always remember your manners! Don't be a bore and don't say too much. Being a bore will have him falling asleep and saying too much will have you saying things you should keep to yourself.

    When getting dressed for the night, you don't wanna be too revealing. Especially if it's the first date! Make a choice to either show cleavage or your legs, but don't show both! You might regret it! Always stay with a positive outlook on things and never look at the glass as half empty; always look at it as half full.

    By baddtadabone, PA, United States

  • Enjoy online dating, but make sure to see if there's a spark in person!

    Remember that the whole idea of online dating is that eventually you do actually leave your computer and meet people. Enjoy the emailing, but don't let it go on for weeks and weeks without meeting up. You need to make sure that the spark is not just in your imagination and that your online romance can stand the test of realette life chemistry. So if you like someone and you're confident you get on, ask them if they want to meet up.

    Independent Singles top tip: Be safe! Always tell someone who you are meeting and where you are going.

    By Cyanideshadows66, Valley, Alabama, United States

  • Finding Common Interests

    When dating someone find common interests and hobbies that you both like so when you do go out , you both would enjoy what you are doing. This is important because no matter how you may think it is right to sacrifice your time to do an activity that is not the least bit interesting to you than what your partner is thinking it is, you or your partner would not be disappointed if it is not enjoyed to the fullest extent. So, find out the interests of your partner because it means a lot when you are thinking up the best date possible to reel them in with your elegance or charm.

    By lady1232000, Illinois, United States

  • Getting to know each other is a two way street

    When emailing and calling prior to meeting for the first time, talk often and on varied topics. Don't hog the conversation or talk only about yourself.Try to ask open ended questions, and be honest about who you are, what you are looking for, and be realistic about things. Some people thrive on 'breaking down' your walls you may have built up due to past relationships. If that's the case, put your guard up until they open up to you. Dating is a two way thing, and when one person becomes more 'involved' in a possible future than the other, someone will always get hurt. Don't change your thoughts, opinions or who you are because you think the other person might like you better if you claim to be something they are looking for. Take your time, go slow, and keep your options open until you are 100% sure you and the other person are on the 'same page' and looking for the same things.

    By Jillibean68, California, United States

  • Getting to know each other through email

    So you've received a wink and have initiated conversation through email. Congratulations! You've made it through step one. But now what? Well don't worry my friend. This tip will guide you through the process of getting to know someone through email.

    The first thing you need to do is find out basic information like name and location. That's easy enough.

    After that move on to interests. Sports, books, hobbies, etc. Still easy. But then what?

    Here is where you truly find out if you have found a good match. Dive deep into conversation. Ask about the things they want out of life. Ask what they have done so far and where they want to go. Get intimate.

    Online dating is no different from standard dating. We are all trying to find someone who is similar to us, yet will challenge us and bring a whole knew element into our lives. Don't be shy! Have fun and stay safe!

    By razor4728, New York, United States

  • Give a relationship some time to grow before giving yourself to another person

    I am one of many women out in the world that has a quick heart in falling in love. This does not mean there is something wrong with me. This only means I get more broken hearts. I want to let all women know that it is okay to love but don't let your heart go too quickly. I have had a past relationship where I fell over heels. I thought I was loved just as much in return but only to find out the love was not the same. How are we suppose to know the difference? We both spent so much time together, said "I love you", and sometimes thought about the future together. I really can't answer that question. Love is different for everyone. I can tell you that it is okay to love and there is nothing wrong with you. A broken heart heals and over time can make you stronger, your heart stronger. The best advice that I can give you in protecting your heart is to respect yourself. When you respect yourself then you respect your heart. Meaning, don't give more than your recieving. Give a relationship some time to grow before giving yourself to another person. If you show you respect yourself then this person will respect you in return. If that is not the case then this person may not be a keeper or worth your heart. Never take a leap before checking how far the fall may be.

    By luvlymom, Virginia, United States

  • Holidays can be best time of the year to date a potential match

    The holidays can be the best time of the year to hook up with a potential date. This time of the year finds many single, unattached people lonely and bordering on depression. Help spread the holiday cheer, be happy, positive, complimentary and enthusiastic.

    You will be surprised at how eager people can be to enjoy these very special times of the year! Turn those holiday blues into lasting happy memories.

    By zio7773 , New York, United States

  • Honesty is always the best policy

    We've all been through it. We meet someone, engage in what becomes a beautiful conversation and/or connection. The attraction is there. Yet in the back of your mind, you can't fully enjoy it because you know you have a confession to make. If you are honest and you care, eventually you'll have to tell that person. Baby, I have _______. The uneasiness of that moment has led me to a very important lesson that I will share with you all.

    BE UPFRONT. Sounds simple enough but it's not only for the benefit of the other person, but for YOU. I have been surprised to find that more people than you think are actually understanding of the situation and if you educate them and they are feeling a strong enough connection, they will try to work through the situation. Now there will always be those who will judge or turn away, but we can't be worried. Delaying your announcement runs the risk of the other person feeling you have been dishonest or living a lie, which could damage all trust built.

    Up to that point. Someone who may have been understanding may be completely turned off that you waited so late. What is the benefit for you, you ask? Well I've found that the honesty will save you alot of sleepness night waiting and wondering when the right time will be. If you are upfront you have put it into the open and said this is me, this is my situation, so you will feel I'm special enough to deal with it, or you can go. Besides, you never know, that person may be like other members of this group and have their own inflictions. Be blessed, be safe, and just be you, and pray for the best.

    By gentlelover79, North Carolina, United States

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