MEMBERS' DATING ADVICE & SAFETY TIPS (1,400+)

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  • Be considerate scheduling dates during the holiday!

    Most people have free times and periods during the holiday and would probably vacation somewhere outside their territories. It is really important that you'd be really clear about what you want and not raise people's hopes beyond what you can actually give. I know sometimes you meet this really great person and you don't want it to end but it is quite unfair to that other person to expect that you'd be there or more when you know clearly that you can't and wouldn't be. It pays to be honest, you'd be surprised that there are really great people out there that want same thing as you do. So, if it's fling or an affair or just plain companionship you want for that period of time, say so. Be clear, be honest and be true. Good luck finding whatever it is you're searching for.

    By mz_phiola, Ohio, United States

  • Be flexible with the added pressure holidays can bring.

    Dating during the holidays can be challenging. Most people have had their own holiday rituals while growing up or in past relationships. This can bring up good and bad memories and possibly bring on some mood swings. Remembering happy times, sad or disappointing times, which can all lead to false joy or even depression.

    If you've already been dating someone, then continue during the holidays if it works out for you both, but be flexible with the added pressure holidays can bring. Be open to new ideas or taking a break during busy times if needed.

    It is not a good time to meet the children of the person you are dating. Save that for a time when there is less stress and you are more comfortable in your relationship. If you are just starting to date someone, it may be beneficial to take a break during the holidays and reconnect when there isn't so much going on. Holidays day be a wonderful time of year. Focus on what makes you happy and feels good not on the person you're dating to bring you fulfillment.

    By CeCe70, California, United States

  • Bring your date / friend to your holiday activities
    Not every date is to satisfy your needs. A date may not and the numbers say you likely will not be an instant "item". A greater value is to open the lines of contact and networking. bring a date/friend in to your group or family during the holidays. With the activities and random conversations it also reduces anxiety and opens the available person to show their interests. I have a Dr friend from Taiwan and he wasnt going to be with family so he joined our family and friends, low and behold I didnt know someone else in our group was single, and since they have gone out.

    By burtonduluth, MN, United States

  • Contribute Time Equally

    Since the holidays are a time of gathering, you may think that you must spend as much time possible with the person you're seeing and their families. You should not think in this sense. You may contribute time to spend with your date, but keep in mind that you, along with them, have families and others whom they must also specially interact with during the holiday seasons. Key is to spend equal amounts of time to both your date and you loved ones and never to leave one behind the other

    By VenomRavess, Ontario, Canada

  • Do not be discouraged if he/she does not invite you to spend the holiday with family

    If you are starting a new relationship with someone and have only been dating for a few months--do not be discouraged if your significant other does not invite you to spend the holiday with his/her family. Some people are very wary about introducing

    their family to a new person especially someone they have only known for a few months. If more than 6 months has passed and you are still not being invited to Holidays with the family, then be concerned. Ask him/her what is holding them back, but never make them choose between you and their family.

    By kelly1023 , Missouri, Kansas, United States

  • Timing of the first and second dates around holidays

    When planning a first or second meeting with a person around holidays remember: even if you aren't busy with shopping, cooking, or family and work events, many others are. It is a tough situation for some to spend the holidays alone, but don't expect a person of interest to be able to concentrate on you with so much going on during holidays. You may be setting yourself up for disappointment if you didn't get the attention you feel is needed to make a decision about him or her.

    For example: calling somebody unexpectedly to set up a date on the same afternoon on Christmas Eve may not be a good idea. They may have family obligations or last minute rushing around to do. They may accept the date because they don't want to miss out on a chance with you, but it may be rushed or impersonal due to timing.

    It also may place a certain degree of stress or uneasiness on your date because ofpressures of the possibility of an unknown expectation of gift giving or invitation to a party or family gathering your date may have planned. Itcan cause hurt feelings with both of you and may destroy something that could have been avoided.

    By everafter, Indiana, United States

  • You Don't Have to be Together

    If you have just started dating that special someone and are worried that you have to be with their family for the holidays, you shouldn't worry about it. It is very common for dating couples to spend the holidays with their own family. You just be able to accept that you may not be able to spend the holidays together. There is no reason why either of you should have to be away from your own family during the holidays. You just have to know that it may happen and be prepared for it. It is only one holiday in a lifetime of holidays. If it is causing a problem, you can always decide to leave one party early to go to the other side of the family's party. This is one of many compromises you will have to make over your relationship. You could also try to see if one side of the family could have a lunch and the other side have a dinner so you both could attend both parties. This does take a lot of consideration for the other people in both families to change their plans to accommodate you but you could always ask. Just know that it is not the end of the world, or the relationship, if you don't spend a holiday together. You can always make it up some how.

    By NudistGuy82, San Marino, CA, United States

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