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Making Connection and Intimacy, Monogamy and Polyamory

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As members of a senior dating community, we are searching to connect with others who have needs and wants closely matched with our own. We all have needs and wants. To understand why another has the needs and wants that they do, one would have to live the other's life from birth. In seeking a partner, one has a choice. Assign priority to each need and want and find one partner who can satisfy the greatest number of the higher priority ones (monogamy), or find several partners who, collectively, can satisfy all of one's needs and wants (polyamory). A potential partner has their own needs and wants which they seek to satisfy. They have a similar choice.

A desire for intimacy develops naturally between two people who enjoy being with one another: a hug, a kiss on the cheek, a hand resting on a shoulder or an arm. If one of the partners needs to pleasure or be pleasured sexually, the other is inclined to help fulfill it. Once a woman passes through menopause, she can pursue sexual pleasure and the intimacy associated with it however she wants no longer constrained by the concern of conception.

Intimacy, for me, is sharing “energy” with another. We all radiate energy as evident by the number of medical devices whose operation depends upon detecting it. Some “sense” energy radiated by others. Some resonate to it. We are all unique with inherent differences. Some can do things that others can’t. I find the best position for sharing energy is spooning. The nature of the radiation, sensing and resonance is explained by the natural laws of electrical currents. I submit that one radiates strongest when they are in a "happy" state.

When one engages in sexual pleasuring, they are likely to be in a "happy" place and radiate their energy at their maximum strength. Some hold back, though. If, upon completion, they jump up and go their own way or lay shoulder-to-shoulder next to one another or turn on their sides, apart, what does that say of sharing the intimacy of the moment?

We are able to share intimacy with, and sexually pleasure any number of different partners. The sex of the partner is immaterial. Some of us have been conditioned that it is only "right" when done with the opposite sex. We are one of the few mammals that engage in sexual pleasuring for its own pleasure. Most mammals limit it to the innate behavior to copulate for procreation.

As a senior, we have lived about half our life. I expect that we all have recognized our needs and wants and their relative importance in our life. On a dating site, how do you manage your expectations of a connection? What is the probability that you’ll find another person who will satisfy all of your more important needs and wants and you theirs? What is the probability that you could find several people who, collectively, can satisfy all your needs and wants? What limits have you imposed upon your choices? Will you opt for monogamy or polyamory, living conveniently close or far away or both, being together for a few hours or a few days, traveling to meet each other or living only “in the box”? How do you qualify a potential meeting? If at the end of the first meeting, you don’t have a mutual feeling to hug one another and maybe kiss lightly, lips to lips, then why meet again?