I don't think men want perfection, although EVERYONE, I think, wants someone who meets as many of their needs and desires as they can realistically hope for. If a person doesn't have a job, that's not a plus in the dating market. If a peson is overweight (as I am), that's not a plus in the dating market. If a person is married or otherwise attached, again, that's not a plus. If our health is poor, nope, for me, especially, that would be a big stop sign (and I don't think I'm in any way remarkable there.) Education? More is usually better than less. Income? More is better than less. Intelligence? More is better (though probably, on that score, similar is mo' bettah)
Over and above that, our past experiences set us up for what we want in the future. Most of us recognize and emphatically do not want to repeat he constraints of past relationships.
But, having said all of this, we all have to recognize, that a person isn't any one thing, and you have to take the whole person, warts and all, if you want to get on. We all need to look in the mirror, though. If the no's start adding up, then we should probably cultivate solitude. On the other hand, if we wait for all of the boxes to be checked appropriately, we also should probably do some cultivaton on our own.
I am searching for a woman like I have listed on my profile which seems no one reads, But it seems they are like unicorns do not exsist or play games in the begining to try and get you hooked, I would love to meet a no bs woman who would meet my expectations.
I believe that any person looking 30, 20, possibly 10, yrs. younger is really in self denial. Walt Disney died a long time ago and messed up a whole bunch of us on the way. I do not want to "compete" with anyone, certianly not because of age. Actually, come to think of it my "competing days" are over. Not looking for a challenge. Looking for a gift that fits. Good luck to all ya'll searchers, be careful what you ask for in case you get it. ha (Big Chill ref.)
What are men looking for in a woman? LOL! I'm trying to figure out what women look for in a man! I'm new to this site and I'm thinking of upgrading but looking at some of these posts over many topics it gives a person a sense of pause. I've read posts where women say men are looking for someone younger and women are surprised. Seems natual to me in a way. But these men are fools. I can never go back and I really have no desire to. But then again, I am looking for someone I can call 'friend' first. I then read where women say that men call themselves hot in their posts. Again, these men are fools. And whats more.....idiots. Avoid them.
I am not 'hot'. I'm 52 years old. Trying to lose some pounds to add years to my life. I'm ok look wise. I have no illusions. After all, I'm 52 not 25. I don't really know how to be with another woman right now or what to look for. All I can do is go back to the basics. Photo's of course helps when you look for someone. A picture does say a thousand words as they say. The woman has to be appealing to ME! But I have no idea what makes a woman appealing to me. I see a pic and I see the eyes. The smile. That twinkle that we all hope to see. And then I read the bio/profile. When I decide to get more involved in this site and try to find somone to talk to, see a movie with, or just have a lousy cup of coffee with, then I'll send them a note and see if they see that same twinkle in my eye.
But perfection? Please. There ain't no such animal. I am reminded of the lines from the movie 'Rocky' where the Adrians brother asks Rocky what the attraction is to his sister. He said "Gaps". I have gaps...she has gaps....together we fill gaps." Seems pretty simple to me.
I now step down off my soap box and invite reply's.
Wow! I am enjoying the banter here...and have experienced the same thing. Individuals are insincere in their quest for a mate, because they have not accepted who they really are - older. However, as unverifiedmale said earlier (back in June), age is not a license to go platinum or to shrivel up and die. Age advances because of natural laws - the way we look and behave should not be mirrored by our numerical progression.
We are all seeking someone who is different (in a better way) than the last relationship and someone who is still reminiscing about teenage issues is certainly not ready to travel and enjoy the better things that maturity brings.
Be as real as you can be, but please do not lie about what you look like. Post a very recent photograph and accept your flaws...there is no perfect person.....something that most of us should have grasped by now....
First of all their is no "perfection"....in anyone. The guys that want "trophy wives" get what they deserve. I'm not into this on line dating (or anything else) to "impress others'...a common "sickness" in this society in my opinion. I want to share love,life, living, and experiences with one woman. Simple.
I can only speak for myself, but I used to be handsome...now I'm "old handsome" and I'd like "old pretty". I keep myself trim,active, and in shape and I'd like someone who did that also. I'm not giving up and developing a "grandpa" look or behavior, and I would like someone who isn't giving in to "grandma" and watching dumb TV shows and baking cookies for the rest of their life. And why give into grey when women coloring their hair is perfectly ok? Don't have to go Dolly Parton or Tammy Baker....in fact please don't! Lots of wash and wear styles out there. (I'm pretty bald, so going with a buzz cut and some of that Grecian stuff is about all I can do in that department.)
After physical attractions are mutually accepted, then personalitys, notions of what fun things to do are, viewpoints, beliefs, assets, etc, are things that may be different and either a fair compromise can be reached or it can't, but I'd sure put a lot of effort into that part....and I know that effort is never ending because men and women have a lot of basic differences. Including Viva La Difference!
I'm not seeking "perfection" in a woman. What I do seek is a woman who has the qualities I like and can enhance me as well as be enhanced by me. That sounds simple but is proving to be quite a task. I think that after the age of 50 most men are more aware of the negative traits that women exhibit and due to some bad consequences from being involved with someone who is wrong for them are less willing to overlook what they see as character flaws, mismatches, etc. in exchange for a relationship or whatever they are loking for.