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The Art of Furtive Friendships Sort by:
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chindit51
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Posted on Tue, Dec 14, 2010 09:28

While I am new to this site, I'm a veteran campaigner of personals ads (like those found in newspapers and in the backs of magazines) and of Internet dating sites. I view the latter as the next generation of those ads found listed under Personals in the newspaper. My involvement was an endeavor to find those who wanted to get personal mail from someone, anyone, a means to just brighten one's day. At the time, such ads were viewed as the recourse to meet ANYONE, especially for those "not into the bar scene". Personally, the common denominator I found for those I met in bars was, they liked to drink, usually heavily. Still, the resource evolved, so that those who really wished to meet someone for a relatively more serious relationship could do so without the risks of either running up a huge bar tab or fending off attempts at an inappropriate intimate encounter. The main key to mutual success was honest disclosure and a true meeting of hearts and/or minds. My personal results were two better-than-my-average marriages and a couple of long-running penpal relationships. With the advent of the home computer and the Internet, I've gleaned similar results, enough to believe the medium has kept up with the times and technology. The biggest change in proceedings is, I save a lot more not having to invest so heavily in stamps, envelopes and stationary, though this last part is something of a downer, because I liked to develop designs for my personal staionary, complete with logo or caricature. The priniple of being one's true self has remained with me throughout this evolution, which I consider essential to being a real friend, whether online or off. Realizing that even the best of us fails to fully disclose who and what we are, I try to allow the 'little things' not to distress me, as I hope others will return in kind. After all, it may be true that I am an entertaining correspondent, but in reality, I allow my dishes accumulate until I have little or nothing clean with which to cook and that my place is in dire need of vacuuming more other than not. It may also come as a shock, disappointment, and turn-off that I'm not so much a couch potato as I am a mushroom, will have interested women fall off with me in big chunks, despite all my truth and honesty. Still, they love my letters, my humor and my mind. Perhaps, if I could have found a way to isolate those desirable parts of me into some kind of autonomous entity, I wouldn't have had to retire from marriage after 20+ years of futile accumulative attempts. I have noted that I am beyond the age of visibility, where women cannot see me as a matter of course. I reckon this means that women who, themselves, are past that point may see me as an undefinable blur, unless they are purposely seeking me. Sobeit! Swallowing any dismay there is in not finding my ideal companion with whom to share my life and hooch, I bend my efforts to provide my best in thoughts and feelings through e-mail, striving to represent myself accurately and realistically, giving my reader the real, honest me. The Internet provides that anonymity that hides most of my warts, allowing the pure, gentle and delightful portion of my persona to shine through. I may not be marriage material, but I'm truly a friend, perhaps best in heart and mind than in face-to-face reality. I may still scare little children and cause dogs to bark when I walk, er, stump down the street, but kids get fascinated by my artifical leg and dogs take note that I have dogs of my own who seem to adore me as long as I continue to provide them with treats and food, and don't attempt to bathe them too often.


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Martijo
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Posted on Fri, Jan 14, 2011 18:03

I love the way you write! I am an avid reader of (mostly) fiction, and once thought I'd like to try writing myself, when I was much, much younger - but then I realized I really don't have the talent to actually do so. But I really admire those who can. I also like your attitude about life in general, though what you said (or I think you said) is true about being able to show in a blog only what we want people to see. Well, we all do that, don't we?


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Ruthann2000
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Posted on Tue, Jan 11, 2011 18:20

Gee, this looks like fun.  Can I get in on this?  Wish we could all be in a circle communicating.  There is that chat room no one seems to be using. 

The invitation to write and communicate is open to the floor.

Thank you,

Ruth


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chindit51
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Posted on Fri, Dec 17, 2010 07:28

Smiling, where you are in a remote coastal town, I reside in a small rural berg. Since I can't drive, my computer is my lifeline and primary source of outside contact. I have an idea what it's like to serve 24/7, first from the military and later, with the fire department. I'd be more than happy to write and help make your time a bit brighter. I hope this is the first of many blogs to come. They may not be as entertaining - we have our ups and downs, right? - but I'll do my best!


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smilingwoman
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Posted on Thu, Dec 16, 2010 18:38

You're GOOD! I could enjoy reading what you write every day. I'm an ex-teacher/advertising exec/PR specialist/non-profit entrepreneur/ and current writer of educational materials for students. I received my 2nd royalty check in June and bought my first new Mac laptop! Yay! Unfortunately for us--at least at this particular time--I'm caregiving my 90-yr-old mom on Oregon's cold, rainy coast. I sure want to move away but will put it off until she needs me no longer. You express youself very well. If you'd like, maybe we can email a bit. Living with an elderly person i24/7 n a remote coastal town is pretty boring so I thrive on communicating with friends around the world. Maybe you, too? A fellow wordmonger :>)


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chindit51
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Posted on Wed, Dec 15, 2010 11:24

Thank you, Could. It's taken me a while to come out of my shell as a writer, first as a poet and then as a blogger, but somewhere deep down in a profile somewhere, I confessed to being a wordsmith. They say, in order to write, one must read, and I fully and truly believe this. I don't know if I'll ever make the New York Times Best Seller's List or the Book-of-the-Month Club, but I enjoy the effort and hope to continue pleasing my readership.


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Could_it_be
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Posted on Wed, Dec 15, 2010 03:35

What fun! I truly enjoyed reading your post! You have a wonderful way with words and ideas.

 



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