This "blog" is mostly a list of questions submitted by members of SeniorMatch . comand the responses are offered as "Suggestions" from our "counselor" . Occasionally I do add a thought or idea of my own .
Each entry has a topic listed on the first line i.e. Writing profiles : So , you might see several entry about the same topic ... check all of the ones on the topics you're interested in . Notes First , Some answers like "How to upload a photo" .. Are too long to post here . For those types of support send us an e-mail ! We will respond with e-mail . You can go to the "counselor" profile and send the questions and comments by email . Second , Notice there a multiple pages of this blog ... On the left top beside the white text box where comments are entered , you will see a list of the pages . Click the page you want to go to next .
Perhaps the Q's and A's will help you as you search for your mate .
We welcome all questions or comments !!! UPGRADE !! Enjoy all of the "Gold Member" features and benefits. Names are "NOT SHOWN" to protect members' privacy . Great Success in your search !! Our best wishes for a happy , healthy , FUN-filled life with your partner !! "YOU" deserve to be HAPPY !!! Let's make it a reality !!! Ever watch a little kid learning something new ???
One reason they "get" things so fast is their "Devil Take it" approach ! Nothing held back , could care less about mistakes and being embarassed . Opinion of others ... not even a consideration !! And guess what !!! They succeed quickly !!!!! Now , I know ... you aren't going to run that wide open , but how about , maybe 75% ?? C'mon , it's worth a shot isn't it ??
Thank you for being a SeniorMatch member !
SeniorMatch member Q's and A's
This "blog" is mostly a list of questions submitted by members of SeniorMatch . comand the responses are offered as "Suggestions" from our "counselor" . Occasionally I do add a thought or idea of my own .
Each entry has a topic listed on the first line i.e. Writing profiles : So , you might see several entry about the same topic ... check all of the ones on the topics you're interested in . Notes First , Some answers like "How to upload a photo" .. Are too long to post here . For those types of support send us an e-mail ! We will respond with e-mail . You can go to the "counselor" profile and send the questions and comments by email . Second , Notice there a multiple pages of this blog ... On the left top beside the white text box where comments are entered , you will see a list of the pages . Click the page you want to go to next .
Perhaps the Q's and A's will help you as you search for your mate .
We welcome all questions or comments !!! UPGRADE !! Enjoy all of the "Gold Member" features and benefits. Names are "NOT SHOWN" to protect members' privacy . Great Success in your search !! Our best wishes for a happy , healthy , FUN-filled life with your partner !! "YOU" deserve to be HAPPY !!! Let's make it a reality !!! Ever watch a little kid learning something new ???
One reason they "get" things so fast is their "Devil Take it" approach ! Nothing held back , could care less about mistakes and being embarassed . Opinion of others ... not even a consideration !! And guess what !!! They succeed quickly !!!!! Now , I know ... you aren't going to run that wide open , but how about , maybe 75% ?? C'mon , it's worth a shot isn't it ??
Too Old ???? Pure Blarney !!!!!!!!!!!! Step outside , look around , There are a wild mixture of races , ages , looks etc ...... Pick the youngest one you see . That person has no more of assurance of being around tomorrow than you do !!!! My point .... get out there and find a person to enjoy your life with . Whether it's one more week , another 10 years or 30 or more .
I'm 67 now , these next years "are" going to be the best of my life . "I" am going to make them so !!!! Join me please . Live life !!Don't just endure it !!!!!!
Too Old ???? Pure Blarney !!!!!!!!!!!! Step outside , look around , There are a wild mixture of races , ages , looks etc ...... Pick the youngest one you see . That person has no more of assurance of being around tomorrow than you do !!!! My point .... get out there and find a person to enjoy your life with . Whether it's one more week , another 10 years or 30 or more .
I'm 67 now , these next years "are" going to be the best of my life . "I" am going to make them so !!!! Join me please . Live life !!Don't just endure it !!!!!!
Success !!! Welll , it finally happened for me . I met and got to know and then married the perfect woman for me. Yeah , met her right here online . It took me almost 18 months to find her ! I had read over 4,000 profilles , written about 500 emails , had dates with about 20 people , only 4 made it to a second time , some my choice , some theirs . My point is this ... It isn't easy or fast ... as a rule !! But boy , IT IS WORTH IT !!!! You can succeed too !!!!! Be persistent , be patient ... and ... "BE PICKY" . Unless of course you just want a date . For me , I wanted a lot more ... a life-time partner . counselor
Success !!! Welll , it finally happened for me . I met and got to know and then married the perfect woman for me. Yeah , met her right here online . It took me almost 18 months to find her ! I had read over 4,000 profilles , written about 500 emails , had dates with about 20 people , only 4 made it to a second time , some my choice , some theirs . My point is this ... It isn't easy or fast ... as a rule !! But boy , IT IS WORTH IT !!!! You can succeed too !!!!! Be persistent , be patient ... and ... "BE PICKY" . Unless of course you just want a date . For me , I wanted a lot more ... a life-time partner . counselor
Photos ... It's the story they tell . Not just how you look !!! When I see a photo ... Of course I am interested in appearance . That assumes that I can see the person's face and body un-cluttered by shade trees , fountains , hats , sun glasses , pets etc . I look at the background too ... and the action that the person is doing . Are they at home ? A ball game ?? Picnic ??? Are they traveling ? Horseback riding ? Hiking ? How are they dressed ? Fashion is NOT the issue , at least for me . Comfort is an issue for me , so is color variety in clothing . These are clues to "who they are" ... and whether I'd enjoy being with them . Posed shots are fine for some things , for other things they connote an air of being "artificial" .
Bottom line : Choose with thought . Tell a story !! Title is ; "Why life together with me is good" !!! BUT ... That's just my thinking . counselor
Photos ... It's the story they tell . Not just how you look !!! When I see a photo ... Of course I am interested in appearance . That assumes that I can see the person's face and body un-cluttered by shade trees , fountains , hats , sun glasses , pets etc . I look at the background too ... and the action that the person is doing . Are they at home ? A ball game ?? Picnic ??? Are they traveling ? Horseback riding ? Hiking ? How are they dressed ? Fashion is NOT the issue , at least for me . Comfort is an issue for me , so is color variety in clothing . These are clues to "who they are" ... and whether I'd enjoy being with them . Posed shots are fine for some things , for other things they connote an air of being "artificial" .
Bottom line : Choose with thought . Tell a story !! Title is ; "Why life together with me is good" !!! BUT ... That's just my thinking . counselor
Preparation , Patience , Persistnce and Progress The over-50 crowd doesn't usually move as quickly as some other groups . To succeed .... Learn to use the tools , use them frequently , pursue the goals you set .... don't sit back and wait to be pursued . There are many entries here about writing profiles , doing searches and sorting the results . READ , then USE the information . Believe , Work at it !!! You can and will succeed !! Get the mate you want and deserve . They need you too !!!!!
Preparation , Patience , Persistnce and Progress The over-50 crowd doesn't usually move as quickly as some other groups . To succeed .... Learn to use the tools , use them frequently , pursue the goals you set .... don't sit back and wait to be pursued . There are many entries here about writing profiles , doing searches and sorting the results . READ , then USE the information . Believe , Work at it !!! You can and will succeed !! Get the mate you want and deserve . They need you too !!!!!
Berrys and Chiggers There are some very good , honest and sincere people on the Internet that are truly looking for a good and sincere partner to share their life with ... and they find them .
I am a Southern boy . An old saying goes that ... You gotta wade through the weeds to get the berrys . You will !!! BUT , you're gonna get some chiggers too . It's definitely true .
You will find the chiggers ! But ... there are a lot of berrys here too . You deserve a great partner . There is one here for you
... don't let the chiggers deprive you of the happiness that you can find .
The magic words are Patience , Persistence and Progress .
My hero was Thomas Edison . He said ..."I've never had an experiment that failed . However , I have successfully identified many approaches that could not and did not work".
Stay the course and find the mate that you deserve . I know you can and will .
Thank you for being a member . I hope I gave you a little encouragement . counselor
Berrys and Chiggers There are some very good , honest and sincere people on the Internet that are truly looking for a good and sincere partner to share their life with ... and they find them .
I am a Southern boy . An old saying goes that ... You gotta wade through the weeds to get the berrys . You will !!! BUT , you're gonna get some chiggers too . It's definitely true .
You will find the chiggers ! But ... there are a lot of berrys here too . You deserve a great partner . There is one here for you
... don't let the chiggers deprive you of the happiness that you can find .
The magic words are Patience , Persistence and Progress .
My hero was Thomas Edison . He said ..."I've never had an experiment that failed . However , I have successfully identified many approaches that could not and did not work".
Stay the course and find the mate that you deserve . I know you can and will .
Thank you for being a member . I hope I gave you a little encouragement . counselor
Screening out undesired emails and winks Scroll down the home page to "Tools and Settings" (near the bottom) Select Manage Settings Select email/winks Select email/wink filter Enter the criteria that are "ACCEPTABLE" Sex , Age , Location Scroll further down and click submit . Bingo ... you're done .
Screening out undesired emails and winks Scroll down the home page to "Tools and Settings" (near the bottom) Select Manage Settings Select email/winks Select email/wink filter Enter the criteria that are "ACCEPTABLE" Sex , Age , Location Scroll further down and click submit . Bingo ... you're done .
Other considerations ... Family members ! I am still learning about Senior dating . I expect this will continue as long as I am active . When I became consciously aware of this one ... It blew me away !! For real . Family members of the person of interest !! Especially their CHILDREN !!! These people are extremely important to your success . Senior daters are sensitive to the perceptions and the concerns of their family members . Cultivate a favorable relationship with them ... Your odds of success will go way up !!! Ignore them ... you are very likely to fail !!! Also ... Seniors fear ridicule from family members !! Ridicule because they are "dating" ... Logical ... No !! Real ?? YES !!! Solution ... I don't know yet . Want to help ?C'mon in !!! Always a factor ... No . Often a factor ?? YES !! Be aware !!! Be considerate !!!!!! counselor
Other considerations ... Family members ! I am still learning about Senior dating . I expect this will continue as long as I am active . When I became consciously aware of this one ... It blew me away !! For real . Family members of the person of interest !! Especially their CHILDREN !!! These people are extremely important to your success . Senior daters are sensitive to the perceptions and the concerns of their family members . Cultivate a favorable relationship with them ... Your odds of success will go way up !!! Ignore them ... you are very likely to fail !!! Also ... Seniors fear ridicule from family members !! Ridicule because they are "dating" ... Logical ... No !! Real ?? YES !!! Solution ... I don't know yet . Want to help ?C'mon in !!! Always a factor ... No . Often a factor ?? YES !! Be aware !!! Be considerate !!!!!! counselor
Retaining Interest and Resisting Pressure ... Can you ?? Sometimes ... You want something so bad ... Caution and Self Respect are thrown to the wind . You get some or part of what you want ... You pay the price for a long , long time !!! **** wrote : I am being pushed very hard by a gentleman from my own city to meet and telephone him . I want to keep his interest ... But ... slow things down until I know him better . What Do I say ??
counselor wrote : I think you already have the answer .... The Truth , just as you said it to me . You're interested ...say so . You want to keep his interest ... say so . You want to know him first a little better ... say so . "IF" this man is worthy of your interest -AND- "IF" his sincere interest is real ... He will understand that you are being reasonable and appropriately cautious . "IF" he cannot see and understand that , then "HE IS NOT" worthy of your interest . You don't "Bully" people you truly care about into anything . "IF YOU WANT RESPECT" ... Don't let yourself be "BULLIED" into anything. counselor
Retaining Interest and Resisting Pressure ... Can you ?? Sometimes ... You want something so bad ... Caution and Self Respect are thrown to the wind . You get some or part of what you want ... You pay the price for a long , long time !!! **** wrote : I am being pushed very hard by a gentleman from my own city to meet and telephone him . I want to keep his interest ... But ... slow things down until I know him better . What Do I say ??
counselor wrote : I think you already have the answer .... The Truth , just as you said it to me . You're interested ...say so . You want to keep his interest ... say so . You want to know him first a little better ... say so . "IF" this man is worthy of your interest -AND- "IF" his sincere interest is real ... He will understand that you are being reasonable and appropriately cautious . "IF" he cannot see and understand that , then "HE IS NOT" worthy of your interest . You don't "Bully" people you truly care about into anything . "IF YOU WANT RESPECT" ... Don't let yourself be "BULLIED" into anything. counselor
Perception equals Reality ... Until perception is replaced by either facts or experience .... It is reality and has the same effect . Choose words carefully ... Avoid being aggressive (that's my mistake) . Don't issue ultimatums ... show some tolerance . Be patient .... seed , fertilize and water !!! Harvest later !!!
Perception equals Reality ... Until perception is replaced by either facts or experience .... It is reality and has the same effect . Choose words carefully ... Avoid being aggressive (that's my mistake) . Don't issue ultimatums ... show some tolerance . Be patient .... seed , fertilize and water !!! Harvest later !!!
Me , learning the ropes ?? Welll ... as best I can tell the most dangerous thing that a man can do to ruin a potential relationship is to be aggressive . Problem : Not everyone has the same idea about what that is !!! These suggesstions might work ... Thanks her for the time , express enjoyment with meeting . Shake hands , let her decide if a hug or "small" kiss is wanted . Suggest that you hope you will get another chance to see her . Offer an idea that another "public" meeting would be nice . Leave in a timely , courteous way , don't hang on !!! This is my plan .... I offer it only as an idea for your consideration . Got a better one ?? I'd love to hear it !!!
Me , learning the ropes ?? Welll ... as best I can tell the most dangerous thing that a man can do to ruin a potential relationship is to be aggressive . Problem : Not everyone has the same idea about what that is !!! These suggesstions might work ... Thanks her for the time , express enjoyment with meeting . Shake hands , let her decide if a hug or "small" kiss is wanted . Suggest that you hope you will get another chance to see her . Offer an idea that another "public" meeting would be nice . Leave in a timely , courteous way , don't hang on !!! This is my plan .... I offer it only as an idea for your consideration . Got a better one ?? I'd love to hear it !!!
Pay Attention please !!!! Important stuff coming . Guys and gals .... others out there don't give a "HOOT" (Sorry , couldn't help it !!) what your sunglasses or caps or hats look like !!!! !!!!! PARK e'm !!!!! When I go woman shopping ... I look at ... guess what ?? THE WOMAN !!!!!!!!! WOW ... Surprised ???? Beautiful eyes light my fire much quicker than NIKE LOGOs or whatever . Now , consider yourself informed and get on out there and do it .... Glasses-less and hat-less !!! PS .... It isn't your poodle or kitty I want to pet either !!!
Pay Attention please !!!! Important stuff coming . Guys and gals .... others out there don't give a "HOOT" (Sorry , couldn't help it !!) what your sunglasses or caps or hats look like !!!! !!!!! PARK e'm !!!!! When I go woman shopping ... I look at ... guess what ?? THE WOMAN !!!!!!!!! WOW ... Surprised ???? Beautiful eyes light my fire much quicker than NIKE LOGOs or whatever . Now , consider yourself informed and get on out there and do it .... Glasses-less and hat-less !!! PS .... It isn't your poodle or kitty I want to pet either !!!
Try it , Fly it , Crash it , Try Again ... get results !!!
Folks very often I hear about our short comings or get questions about how to do so and so ... We "DO" have short comings , we "NEED" to hear about them and ... we try to improve them . By ALL MEANS ... "ask" questions ... as many as needed !!!! But "YOU" are the ultimate weapon in this war-on-loneliness .... Join the battle !!!! Learn to use the tools !!!!!! Experiment , fail , try again , SUCCEED !!!! Yes , I know there are many dating websites . "All" have some good and some not-so-good qualities ... So happens ... not surprisingly , I think we are the best !! counselor
Try it , Fly it , Crash it , Try Again ... get results !!!
Folks very often I hear about our short comings or get questions about how to do so and so ... We "DO" have short comings , we "NEED" to hear about them and ... we try to improve them . By ALL MEANS ... "ask" questions ... as many as needed !!!! But "YOU" are the ultimate weapon in this war-on-loneliness .... Join the battle !!!! Learn to use the tools !!!!!! Experiment , fail , try again , SUCCEED !!!! Yes , I know there are many dating websites . "All" have some good and some not-so-good qualities ... So happens ... not surprisingly , I think we are the best !! counselor
Limiting distant member responses : If you desirer tio restrict those from distant location s from sending you emails ... you can !! Login ... Scroll down to Tools and Settings Chose EMails etc . Choose Zip Code versus Region Specify the miles "outward" from your zip code that's acceptable Save the changes and Bingo !! Now , realize they are restricted ... you are not . You can still search anywhere you like and "send" an email to whom ever you like ... BUT , unless you revise the restrictions you just set up ... they cannot respond and get a message through to you . counselor
Limiting distant member responses : If you desirer tio restrict those from distant location s from sending you emails ... you can !! Login ... Scroll down to Tools and Settings Chose EMails etc . Choose Zip Code versus Region Specify the miles "outward" from your zip code that's acceptable Save the changes and Bingo !! Now , realize they are restricted ... you are not . You can still search anywhere you like and "send" an email to whom ever you like ... BUT , unless you revise the restrictions you just set up ... they cannot respond and get a message through to you . counselor
I find getting NO replies is proably due to most of us , not being able to afford upgrading in general. If we were able to respond back and forth a few times , we would be more readily to accept an upgrade. Seems to me it would be worth a little back and forth conversation with another person before upgrading. This site should try it. Most lack of responses I"m sure is due to the money put out to upgrade, especially for seniors with such tight budgets. The come-on emails are just annoying, chasing some people away. I wait to see if this is published?
I find getting NO replies is proably due to most of us , not being able to afford upgrading in general. If we were able to respond back and forth a few times , we would be more readily to accept an upgrade. Seems to me it would be worth a little back and forth conversation with another person before upgrading. This site should try it. Most lack of responses I"m sure is due to the money put out to upgrade, especially for seniors with such tight budgets. The come-on emails are just annoying, chasing some people away. I wait to see if this is published?
**** wrote: Frankly, i'm starting to wonder if this site is valid at all . The only female who has contacted me, was a woman who wanted money . I'm not that bad looking, yet have had little success. What's the trick to this anyway? counselor wrote : **** Actually there is a trick ...well , sort of . There is a blog you should check out ... SeniorMatch Members Q's & A's You are not the first man or woman to ask this question ... It is a numbers game ... more mail out , more mail in . It is also an "Early Bird" game .... get there before the rest of the world .
Odds are , every attractive woman you see and approach is also being seen by lots of other men . It is a competitive world .
Here are some things to be considered ... Your profile .... Photos ...are there several that show you in your best light ? Self description ... Does it say what your best qualities are ? Doss it tell a story that says here is what life with me can be like "together" . Does it meet most or some of the "wants" her profile said she had ? It needs to be more than a recitation of facts ... "Talk" to the person with your profile . Searching ... where are you looking ? How often ? Are you seeking out the newest members each time ? Take some time ... Don't rush it , don't pressure , build step by step . Let her help set the pace . You are a decent looking guy , sounds like you have a lot to offer . Make sure it is presented as an offer ... a good life "together" story . I can assure you , these are important matters to a woman . I strongly encourage to read the blog I mentioned earlier . I will also offer a second one to you ... "Online dating as a serious endeavor" . I wrote it and I can vouch that every line there is true . These blogs are both on this website "SeniorMatch.com" . You will see that your concerns are shared by many others . You might find a thing or two that really helps you . IT'S WORTH A SHOT !!!! I appreciate your question and thank you for being a SeniorMatch member . Try these ideas ... give me some feedback a little later . counselor
Whats the secret ?
**** wrote: Frankly, i'm starting to wonder if this site is valid at all . The only female who has contacted me, was a woman who wanted money . I'm not that bad looking, yet have had little success. What's the trick to this anyway? counselor wrote : **** Actually there is a trick ...well , sort of . There is a blog you should check out ... SeniorMatch Members Q's & A's You are not the first man or woman to ask this question ... It is a numbers game ... more mail out , more mail in . It is also an "Early Bird" game .... get there before the rest of the world .
Odds are , every attractive woman you see and approach is also being seen by lots of other men . It is a competitive world .
Here are some things to be considered ... Your profile .... Photos ...are there several that show you in your best light ? Self description ... Does it say what your best qualities are ? Doss it tell a story that says here is what life with me can be like "together" . Does it meet most or some of the "wants" her profile said she had ? It needs to be more than a recitation of facts ... "Talk" to the person with your profile . Searching ... where are you looking ? How often ? Are you seeking out the newest members each time ? Take some time ... Don't rush it , don't pressure , build step by step . Let her help set the pace . You are a decent looking guy , sounds like you have a lot to offer . Make sure it is presented as an offer ... a good life "together" story . I can assure you , these are important matters to a woman . I strongly encourage to read the blog I mentioned earlier . I will also offer a second one to you ... "Online dating as a serious endeavor" . I wrote it and I can vouch that every line there is true . These blogs are both on this website "SeniorMatch.com" . You will see that your concerns are shared by many others . You might find a thing or two that really helps you . IT'S WORTH A SHOT !!!! I appreciate your question and thank you for being a SeniorMatch member . Try these ideas ... give me some feedback a little later . counselor
Correcting blog errors : ***** wrote: I tried for the first time to post a blog under my name **** and just noticed after it posted on my page that the word should be "how" not house, I can't figure out how to go back and change it in my blog plus all of what I wrote doesn't show up on my page. I thought it would be something for a nice conversation but now I made a fool of myself. Can you remove it or explain how I can fix it.
counselor wrote :
**** I wish I was standing right beside you where I could give you a big ol "HUG"...then a good hard shake . YOU "GOTTA QUIT" beating yourself so hard !!! I "ABSOLUTELY GUARNTEE" this litle error was not the first or last one you have made or will make !!! So let's fix it , get off our own backs and get on with succeeding . REMEMBER ... If you'er "NOT" making any mistakes , it's only because you're not trying hard enough !!!! Obviously , you're trying !!!! That's GREAT...Keep it up !!!!!!!!!!
Now ... 1) go to your blog 2) scroll down to the bottom of the first screen 3) click on "COMMENTS" 4) wait for the screen to renew ... wait a few seconds 5) Scroll down to the entry with the "LITTLE ERROR" 6) look at the bottom of the screen of "THAT PARTICULAR COMMENT" 7) Find the word "EDIT" and "CLICK" it . 8) A new "EDITING SCREEN" will pop up with your comment in it 9) Scroll down to the "LITTLE ERROR" 10) put the cursor on the error and type in the correction . 11) delete the old error using your "delete" key 12) scroll down to the bottom of the comment editing screen 13) "Click SUBMIT" 14) Bingo !!! You're done. 15) A new screen will come up with a line that says "Return to my blog" 16) Click that line and go back to review your work !!! 17) You can repeat the process if necessary until you are satisfied !!! 18) Be HAPPY !! You learned something new !!!!!!!! counselor
Correcting blog errors : ***** wrote: I tried for the first time to post a blog under my name **** and just noticed after it posted on my page that the word should be "how" not house, I can't figure out how to go back and change it in my blog plus all of what I wrote doesn't show up on my page. I thought it would be something for a nice conversation but now I made a fool of myself. Can you remove it or explain how I can fix it.
counselor wrote :
**** I wish I was standing right beside you where I could give you a big ol "HUG"...then a good hard shake . YOU "GOTTA QUIT" beating yourself so hard !!! I "ABSOLUTELY GUARNTEE" this litle error was not the first or last one you have made or will make !!! So let's fix it , get off our own backs and get on with succeeding . REMEMBER ... If you'er "NOT" making any mistakes , it's only because you're not trying hard enough !!!! Obviously , you're trying !!!! That's GREAT...Keep it up !!!!!!!!!!
Now ... 1) go to your blog 2) scroll down to the bottom of the first screen 3) click on "COMMENTS" 4) wait for the screen to renew ... wait a few seconds 5) Scroll down to the entry with the "LITTLE ERROR" 6) look at the bottom of the screen of "THAT PARTICULAR COMMENT" 7) Find the word "EDIT" and "CLICK" it . 8) A new "EDITING SCREEN" will pop up with your comment in it 9) Scroll down to the "LITTLE ERROR" 10) put the cursor on the error and type in the correction . 11) delete the old error using your "delete" key 12) scroll down to the bottom of the comment editing screen 13) "Click SUBMIT" 14) Bingo !!! You're done. 15) A new screen will come up with a line that says "Return to my blog" 16) Click that line and go back to review your work !!! 17) You can repeat the process if necessary until you are satisfied !!! 18) Be HAPPY !! You learned something new !!!!!!!! counselor
**** wrote : Enjoyed your comments. I'm new at the on-line dating thing. But I can't get any woman to answer my e-mails. Maybe I was too honest in my posted profile, but I would think that would be essential. Besides there is nothing earth jarring in there other than I require additional oxygen therapy but still very active. And.......I'm not a ugly duckling............... I'm as good looking as you are. I also am not a Dunce, I'm a retired Founder/CEO of a Corporation (30 yrs). So I sent out 15 e-mails and get nothing back after 10 days. Whats the secret? counselor wrote : Welll ... the secret is ..... more emails out ... more answers in !!!! It's a numbers game !!!! Remember the comment about using every tool to the MAX ?? Playing the game ?? IT IS A NUMBERS GAME !!!! There are women out there and GUYS too ... just right for you !!! BELIEVE IT , ACT LIKE IT !!! You're right ... you are not an ugly duckling ... go find the woman or man that is waiting for you !! Might take a while , SO WHAT ??? JUST DO IT .
What's the secret ??
**** wrote : Enjoyed your comments. I'm new at the on-line dating thing. But I can't get any woman to answer my e-mails. Maybe I was too honest in my posted profile, but I would think that would be essential. Besides there is nothing earth jarring in there other than I require additional oxygen therapy but still very active. And.......I'm not a ugly duckling............... I'm as good looking as you are. I also am not a Dunce, I'm a retired Founder/CEO of a Corporation (30 yrs). So I sent out 15 e-mails and get nothing back after 10 days. Whats the secret? counselor wrote : Welll ... the secret is ..... more emails out ... more answers in !!!! It's a numbers game !!!! Remember the comment about using every tool to the MAX ?? Playing the game ?? IT IS A NUMBERS GAME !!!! There are women out there and GUYS too ... just right for you !!! BELIEVE IT , ACT LIKE IT !!! You're right ... you are not an ugly duckling ... go find the woman or man that is waiting for you !! Might take a while , SO WHAT ??? JUST DO IT .
Listening/Reading is a skill ?? This one's on me , not a response to a member question . Did you know that listening is an "energy burning" "physically-demanding" activity ?
Do you equate "Reading" with "Listening" ? I DO !!!
About 100 years ago I ran and taught a Selling Skills class for a MAJOR corporation .
Part of the class was a two week long "Role-Playing" activity . Sales people interviewing customers about their communications needs . The hardest thing to learn was "Listening" , then responding appropriately .
You see we get so wrapped up in what we "WANT" to hear we miss what we "OUGHT" to hear .
Part of "Listening" is prompting the talker to "TALK" . A secret is to use "Open-ended" questions. Those are the ones that are almost impossible to answer with yes -or- no or a number. These are "Close-ended" questions . They have their purpose when used appropriately , but are far less productive when attempting to learn about a person's needs .
This is true when you read a profile or message from a member .
When the writer makes a comment about what they like or are looking for .... think it over carefully . Determine how you can get them to elaborate or clarify the idea for you .
When you respond ... have that thought(s) in mind .
If you do this you will find yourself smack-dab in the middle of a meaningful "conversation" . Otherwise it is going to be a series of "fact" recitations that very often lead nowhere . counselor.
Listening/Reading is a skill ?? This one's on me , not a response to a member question . Did you know that listening is an "energy burning" "physically-demanding" activity ?
Do you equate "Reading" with "Listening" ? I DO !!!
About 100 years ago I ran and taught a Selling Skills class for a MAJOR corporation .
Part of the class was a two week long "Role-Playing" activity . Sales people interviewing customers about their communications needs . The hardest thing to learn was "Listening" , then responding appropriately .
You see we get so wrapped up in what we "WANT" to hear we miss what we "OUGHT" to hear .
Part of "Listening" is prompting the talker to "TALK" . A secret is to use "Open-ended" questions. Those are the ones that are almost impossible to answer with yes -or- no or a number. These are "Close-ended" questions . They have their purpose when used appropriately , but are far less productive when attempting to learn about a person's needs .
This is true when you read a profile or message from a member .
When the writer makes a comment about what they like or are looking for .... think it over carefully . Determine how you can get them to elaborate or clarify the idea for you .
When you respond ... have that thought(s) in mind .
If you do this you will find yourself smack-dab in the middle of a meaningful "conversation" . Otherwise it is going to be a series of "fact" recitations that very often lead nowhere . counselor.
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