I recently sent 2 e-mails to a woman. I suggested that we meet. I didn't assign a time or a place. Here is her reply - name blocked out to protect her privacy. I solicit opinions, was I right or wrong to respond as I did?
Her words:
> It looks like we both enjoy traveling and look forward to doing more of it in the future! As far as us meeting soon, to be honest with you we would have to get to know each other much better before that happens. When I tell men that it, usually discourages them, they loose interest and move on! To me that says much more about the true personality then words could ever say because the way I see it, if I am not worth getting to know better then they are not the sincere men that I want in my life, so I hope you understand and if you don't, that's OK too, if you choose not to respond, good luck and take care!
>
My reply: Hello *****
It is interesting that there are, as best as I can tell, 4 camps of women online.
1. Those who insist upon meeting because you really can't know if someone has that all important "chemistry" unless you meet. Exchange more than 5 e-mail with them and they become bored and disappear.
2. Those who need time and prefer e-mail and chat to an actual meeting anytime soon. I actually had one woman want personal information from me so she could have me investigated and run a credit check! She said so! We exchanged one e-mail! She did not get the info.
3. Those who use the dating service(s) as a popularity tool - a self-esteem booster. Each day they count their e-mails! They have little intention of going with anyone at anytime soon unless of course he is a "hunk" or "money'd", or both!
4. Those who combine all of the above traits in a sincere attempt to have that special person near to them. They extend themselves just a little farther and trust, at least initially. They are flexible. They are probably the ones who manage to locate their life partner and happiness.
Many people delude themselves into thinking that it's okay to be alone, that they are happy with themselves. If this were true, what-the-heck are they doing trying to make contact on a dating service? It doesn't jell.
Being a student of social psychology, a graduate of law school and a licensed polygraph examiner, I note many of the little things that others miss. Of course when confronted by reality - these people deny it!
However, the reality is usually their own words as spoken or written by only them.
Miss ******, granted that you know little about me so far; here is why I think that you are not soon to meet with me:
You are speaking to me - a man.
However in your brief e-mail to me you have mentioned the term "men" twice. In sentences #3 and #4.
In conclusion, you wrap up your e-mail with the words that you hope that the "men" understand, but if they don't: so what!
This cavalier attitude suggests that you have a large playing field of fish, excuse me, "men" and could care less!
I am far from a prophet or an oracle, and certainly no saint. But I am a few light-years ahead of most "players".
I take exception to your categorizing me as "men". I am not "they". I am me. One man.
I did not advocate that we meet alone, at night, and in the faraway forest away from prying eyes. Any simple public place in broad daylight would have been fine. Some women would be flattered that a man would be willing to spend the money and the time to travel a thousand miles to meet them at the drop of a hat. I see that you are not one of them.
Let me inform you that it is my personal choice to discontinue communication with you. "Have a nice day".
Okay, you the reader can tell me now, and please - say if you are male or female! Thanks.
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